If only it were this easy

I enjoyed the Staples "Easy Button" commercials. If only for the illusion of a better life that could exist with the push of a button.

Hillary may have gaffed with this in Russia:











I think the United States gaffed last November in the buttons it collectively pushed in the voting booths. Here's my take on a good use for the "Recovery" logo The ONE thinks needs to be put everywhere:



S2

Signs of the times

Last night's rambling kept me up later than I would have liked so tonight I'll offer a short commentary on a trend that is sweeping the nation and gaining momentum. No, it isn't wearing your housecoat backward and calling it a "Snuggie sleeve blanket" nor is it wiping up spills with a camping towel and calling it a Sham Wow! By the way, if I get any more emails from either of these to spamalot companies I will scream!

Sweeping the country are organized and peaceful protests about the actions being taken by the First African American president of the United States. The ONE and his practices of spending enough money to buy all the tea in China is drawing the ire of regular folks in cities big and small. These citizens are raising Cain like a tempest in a teapot and, with the help of bloggers and talk radio, are letting their voices be heard.

I normally share Groucho Marx's "I won't belong to any club that would have me" philosophy but I am hoping to be in a city where one of these demonstrations is brewing for I will join in. My cup is running over with fury about the direction the country is going. It is time we all dipped our teabags into the warm waters of political debate. Papers are covering the protests on a local basis but the National media seems lukewarm to the idea of covering this hot topic.

Glenn Beck will be having an event on March 13th (I think that is the date) but check at your local right wing fanatical super secret clubhouse for a rally in your hometown area. Or you could head over to MichelleMalkin.com as she seems to have tons of links to organizers all over the country.

If you want to see what a motivated and peacefully pissed off electorate looks like go here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. I think you get the idea by now. GET INVOLVED!

If your head is up your ass you will drown in waist deep water

A news story yesterday about The ONE's nearly $80 Billion plan to help homeowners stave off foreclosure focused on the ironic situation of Susan Orb, a California woman whose job it is to serve notices of eviction and is about to lose her own home. Central to the article were these facts: the home she purchased has declined in value by nearly half since it was mortgaged, her mortgage payment is increasing to a point where she can't make the monthly nut and she owes more on the house than it could be sold for. According to Barack Obama, this woman is like many thousands of others who are "underwater" in their mortgages. Not everyone surfed along on a wave of generosity from lenders.

The core of this newest of government incursion is help for these drowning homeowners in the form of a scuba tank full of money. Judges will be able to mandate mortgage holders refinance these at risk loans much like Neptune determines the rising of the tides. If the receding tide of investments on Wall Street is any indication, schools of financiers believe we are treading in unsafe waters. I agree.

Look at the premise of helping Ms.Orb mentioned above. What at all does it matter that the value of her house has declined by half? Does she need to sell it? The mortgage she signed was set to increase regardless of the fact the value of her abode has sunk deeper than the lost and recently found city of Atlantis. My question is, "What the hell was she doing taking a mortgage that she couldn't afford to pay?" The next is, "Why the hell do I want to use taxpayer money in the form of a government bailout to reward her water on the brain stupidity?"

Not all of homes in foreclosure are in such a state because of poor decisions by the owners. Some people do lose their jobs or are forced to move to keep or take a new job and must sell a house that they owe more on than they can sell it for. Let's help them. I think there are programs to do this already but I am not opposed to investigating some help for those who are swimming upstream to catch their paddless canoes.

This is the problem with the whole direction our country has been taking and has accelerated in since the First African American President of the United States has climbed to the lifeguard tower of government security. We are rewarding foolishness, stupidity, risky behavior and investments and failure is not an option. Perhaps in the calm Utopian waters of a communist or socialist state there is no failure other than the communist or socialist state but here in the good Ole' U S of A we as individuals are free to sink or swim. Well, we were.

S2

La la la la, I am not listening la la la (Fingers in my ears)

From an early age we are conditioned, Pavlovian like, to dread bad news. It starts in grade school when you hear your name and "come to the Principal's office" in the same sentence. Your pulse quickens and sweat stains grow to a point that the girl you like in the front row is sure to notice because you know the experience down the hall will not be good. In college the ringing phone which heralds the call from the Free Clinic with your test results sounds more like the metronome of a dirge than a pleasant ring a ding ding. The normally sweet sound of your boss' secretary's voice on the intercom asking you to come to his office for an unannounced meeting is as grating as Helen Thomas trying to sound sexy. And how far off the chart does your EKG go when your better half announces, "We need to talk".

Face it, sometimes no news is good news. I had a discussion earlier this evening with a liberal co-worker in which he stated those of us on the right just don't listen. I figure he just doesn't get it. None of us like to hear conflicting viewpoints. Like birds of a feather we tend to hang out on telephone lines crowing about with like minded bird brains rather than flap our gums with the flockers down the wire who have opposing opinions. But, just like Lindsey Lohan needs to hear the truth about her weight, drug abuse, alcoholism, partying, lack of talent, smoking, poor choice in women and poor choice in men, sometimes those in the media spotlight and public office need to hear it too. If only they would be open enough to listen.

I stated months ago that GM, Chrysler and Ford needed to live or die on their own merit. Even other conservative bloggers didn't want to admit this. Finally, with two of the three returning to Washington with empty porridge bowls like Oliver Twist facing the evil monk asking, "Please, sir, we want billions more", there are calls to let them eat cake. I doubt Congress will listen and there bowls will overflow until the next time.

The grossly misnamed Employee Free Choice Act, commonly called Card Check, has been called outdated, bad for business and a mistake. The weirdly named blue dog democrats are questioning the wisdom of pushing this legislation amongst their own party. The hounds bark is reaching deaf ears as the bill against the right to work is working its way toward passage.

Hillary Clinton has been told that leaving North Korea with nuclear capabilities is akin to leaving your campfire burning and going to bed with a full bladder instead of properly dousing the final embers with water saving efficiency. Pyongyang is hot with radioactive desire to develop a bomb of its own and the former first lady needs to be adamant in her stance against the proposed missile test Lil' Kim Jong just announced. Think she will listen? Me neither.

Most in the main stream media have been telling those in the popular stream media not to worry about the return of the Fairness Doctrine. Recent chirping in the supposed unheard left of center media belie the veracity of the aforementioned advice of those who won't be affected. For years, free market free thinkers have been telling those who call for fairness that government regulation is not the answer. Megyn Kelly on Fox did everything but slap little heard Bill Press upside the head. If you want visual proof of someone who refuses to listen and just doesn't get it, watch this:



Governor Bobby Jindal is going to tell the federal government he and the state of Louisiana don't want their money and that they can stick it someplace else. If you read the Spendulus Law closely you will see the feds will not listen and will try to force the state to accept their generosity under penalty of law.

The hardest of hearing in this potentially long line of deaf and dead between the ears audiences is none other than Nancy Pelosi. After waxing ignorantly about the opinions of the Catholic Church on abortion a few months ago, she was taken to the proverbial Wood confessional to be set straight by none other than the man in charge. Emerging with Eggs Benedict XVI on her face after a 15 minute face to face with Il Pappa, our deer in the headlights, third in line to be leader of the free world seems to be seeking absolution in isolation. Her brief comments to the press make it seem like she and His Holiness attended radically different services as she made no mention of the disservice to the unborn that the Pope called her on. I've long wondered how self-proclaimed adamant Catholics can easily put aside their duty to the innocent and pull the lever for candidates who will push a pro-choice agenda. The fact Obama won the Catholic vote has my head pounding so hard I can't hear much myself. This dichotomy between spiritual and electoral rationals has to be addressed. Nancy will not listen. She owes too much to the Choice crowd to let a little thing like her religion get in the way of her political career and fund raising.

Finally, we were told of the importance of passing the Spendulus Bill to save our economy from the brink of collapse. Today, The ONE announced another $75 Billion to save home owners. Tomorrow, who knows? Monday the House will begin to deliberate on spending hundreds of Billions of dollars more just to get us through to the end of the fiscal year. Spendulus II, the sequel, will not be far behind. With all the thick skulls and auditorially challenged folks in Washington, perhaps it is time for us to start listening a bit closer to what is being said by our elected officials.

I urge you to listen. Our freedoms are at stake. Before it is too late remember,in almost every decent war movie, when the beloved Corporal is fatally wounded by sniper fire, he utters the same line, "I never heard it coming".

S2

The road to hell is paved with stimulus dollars

Just like those pictures you posted to your Facebook account, there is no turning back now; the Spendulus bill has become the Spendulus law. President Obama used ten pens and burned about 11 tons of fuel an hour flying from DC to Denver to spend nearly one trillion dollars of our hard earned money faster than former staffers and rejected cabinet members can become lobbyists. The First African American President and the nation's biggest boob of a Vice President took separate jets to a campaign rally in the mile high city that was sprinkled with Democratic spendlebrities and green-minded business people. I don't really blame The ONE for taking his own jet, I wouldn't want to be cooped up in a cross country ride with Biden either. But, this animal is now the President's.

Some White House staffer, who seems to be about as competent as Jessica Simpson's stylist, picked a businessman whose company has seen incredible growth over the past 7 years, in this the worst economy since the Great Depression, to introduce the President to speak before signing his economy saving plan. No mention was made that the President and his posse burned more energy getting to the signing than will be generated by the solar panels this company installed on the building's roof in ten years! I don't begrudge Obama for using Air Force The ONE. If I had my own plane I'd fly to the end of the driveway to pick up the mail but doesn't this action, once again, wreak of hypocrisy at an event where the implied economic hardship and belt tightening that is expected of us was stated in none too veiled rhetoric. A Rose Garden signing with a couple Bic Pens would have set an example that we are all in this together.

The ink hadn't dried on the signature line before Air Force The ONE was once again airborne and on its way to Phoenix where, tomorrow, The ONE will save the poor sweating Phoenicians from losing their homes with yet another government program. No mention of where Air Force Two took Number Two but I believe this was mainly due to national indifference. It took about this same amount of time for trial balloons around Spendulus II, the sequel, to launch. My how times have changed from the days when we had bootstraps of our own and a leader who understood(NOTE: Read this link) our Founding Father's intent for government instead of a prolific teleprompter reading, American Idolized, rhythm challenged President.

I put up a Photoshop image on Friday touting the End. Obama, in his speech today did his best Jim Morrison impersonation and said, "this is the end..." This package, now law, truly could portend to be the end of capitalism in the United States. I won't be so flip as others in the blogosphere and Internet news and say we are moving toward Socialism. We aren't. We are on the road to full blown Fascism. Remember a few months ago I advised "F 'em before they F' us".

Think about it, this new government and its programs include elements of nationalism, corporatism, national syndicalism, expansionism, social progress and anti-supposed terrorism in combination with censorship of subversives and state propaganda. Yes, the previous sentence was taken almost verbatim from a site describing Benito Mussolini but every one of those elements is here today or being explored as very real possibilities. Follow the links if you don't believe me.

The passage of the Spendulus bill increases our government's spending to over 40% of GDP. Hell, France is at 47% but I am sure a fair portion of that is spent researching more efficient methods of surrender. GM and Chrysler are seeking more money. There is talk about banks being nationalized and Congress is chomping at the bit for Nancy to quit shopping in Piazza di Spagna and jet back to Washington in her private government jumbo to begin working on nationalizing our Health Care. Hugo Chavez has nothing on our government officials. It makes me think Sean Penn must be on The ONE's super secret BlackBerry e-mail list; right below George Clooney.

We are being told not to worry and to trust that this spending is temporary. Juan Williams forgot to take off his NPR hat today during an appearance on Fox News and stated just that. The government will cut back on these programs once the economy recovers. Remember, these are unprecedented times. If you believe that, I think you probably also think those idiots nipping at Miley Cyrus's heels and suing her for insulting Asians have a chance in hell of winning their four billion dollar lawsuit. Government never gives back and it never cuts programs. Recovery.com has been set up, and paid for with $84 million dollars in the Spendulus Law, for us to see where this money is going. I am sure this government run site will not be yet another campaign outlet for The ONE's 2012 election.

In the months and years to come I hope, instead of bipartisanship, the Republicans fight the Democrats more fiercly than I-fart is battling Air-O-Matic. I am upset with the Republicans and their "make the best of it attitude" so far today. Keep the fires burning.

So many stories, so little time

The hardest part about writing a, almost, daily blog is picking a topic. There is not a dearth of them. There are far too many to limit myself to just one story. Usually, I try to find a way to link several seemingly disparate headlines in to one cohesive, seamless dissertation on the stories that are quickening the pulse of the nation. OK, I just make crap up. Today I am fighting the flu and don't have the spare synapses to make the reach and link the headlines so I will take a quick look at those at the top of my surfing list:

Nancy "we have to vote now cause my plane is leaving" Pelosi is in Rome and the Vatican has confirmed she will be having an audience with the Pope. I hope His Holiness takes the opportunity to slap her upside the head for claiming to be a Catholic while misquoting Church doctrine to support her pro-choice agenda. I don't think a personally guided tour of the Torquemada wing of the museum is out of the question.

The takeover of our Health Care system that is in the Spendulus Package is the beginning of the end for the greatest healthcare system on the planet. I don't know where Canadians are going to go? Congress, in their effort to put in to place Tom Daschl's plan refused to look at how the same type of programs are not working across the big Pond.

As if you need any examples of how it isn't your money, take a look at Kansas! They are out of money so who is first on the chopping block to be cut out? Yeah, the taxpayer. Of course, New York is out of money too but that doesn't stop them from getting increases. Elected officials, they just aren't like you and me; they are special. It could be worse, in Australia even their crap is taxed!

The stimulus package, the one with no Pork in it, will be signed tomorrow in a campaign stop in Denver. I hope they have ham sandwiches. Thankfully, talk radio has been all over this and announcing to everyone what is in this crap sandwich. It might be soon that these voices are silenced. Democrats are all over liberal stations complaining about the lack of alternative voices in the media. Yeah, I know.

Finally, Happy President's day. Here is how AOL is acknowledging it:

Good things come to those who wait.

Wait a minute, I thought all was going to be put right with the passage of the Spendulus Package. The crisis that is our current economic condition required late night sessions and back rooms deals to be struck with expediency not seen since the courtship of Kenny Chesney and Renée Zellweger. Let's hope the effects of the stimulus are longer lasting and more positive than these two stars marriage. I don't have high hopes though. This package will herald the return of "W". Not George W, but the W of welfare.

For weeks we've heard how important it is that this pork laden bit of government intrusion be passed forth with and, now that the Senate, with the help of three turncoat Republicans, has passed it, the first African American President of the United States is taking a few days off in Chicago before signing the bill on Tuesday in a Campaign stop in Denver before a second Campaign stop in Phoenix. So much for hurry up. It seems this guy takes a lot of time off, doesn't it?

I've read quite a bit of this bill (which explains why I haven't posted much recently, I have been sleeping a lot) and seen in it's entirety it is a scary bit of legislation. And it is not going to have the desired effect of stimulating anything other than a growth spurt in the Federal Government bigger than a pre-pubescent Shaquille O'Neil.

Most economists, even those initially in favor of the stimulus package, have stated that, without a "fix" for the financial sector of the economy, the bill would be useless spending. Knowing that, I find it strange that in 1000 pages and a trillion dollars, nothing for the ailing banks is mentioned other than limiting the salary and bonuses of those in charge.

Of course, come Tuesday when the bill is signed in to law and the money has been officially spent, the Obama administration might get to work on what he admits is the real problem.

“To truly address this crisis, we will also need to address the crisis in our financial sector to get credit flowing again to families and businesses. And we need to confront the crisis in the housing sector that's been one of the sources of our economic challenges,” Obama said. “I'll be discussing that extensively soon.”

One picture is worth 1000 pages

I had several thoughts on how to address the passage of the Spendulus bill. My initial writing was going to be about the book reports students are required to do and how they can't possibly expect a good grade or to learn anything unless they actually read the books. Of course, nobody in Congress felt compelled to read the Stimulus Package before voting on it.

I thought about taking an environmental approach and asking how many trees died to make the paper required to print hundreds of copies of the bill in its 1000 page form. Don't even get me started on the ink.

I debated calling the hypocrites in the White House to task for using a government jet to fly a single Senator from Ohio to Washington just so he could be the 60th vote for passage. I guess private jets have a purpose and use if you are the government but not if you are trying to run a business.

Of course there is the breaking of even more campaign promises in the immediate vote on this bill before the public had time to read it. We were told all important bills would be posted on the internet for several days before the President would sign it. I guess the "fragility" (this seems to be the most astute word ever uttered by a sitting President if you watched any news today) of our economy demands concessions be made and everyone must go along.

I read as much of the Spendulus bill very late last night as I could before falling asleep. It scares me. It scares me a lot.

Being that I desire to keep this blog entertaining, light and fun, I best keep this short. I am in no mood for humor. Instead, I will let a picture fill in for the rest of my thoughts.....

There is no time like the present.

I give you fair warning: there may come a time when I contradict myself in this blog. I don't think it is likely as my opinion remains fairly constant but, since I plan these posts out with as much forethought as a 14 year old boy texting dirty pictures of his 13 year old girlfriend to all his buddies, the possibility exists. I should take the time to organize my thoughts, research my topic and maybe even make an outline but that would take too long. My thoughts need to get out and get out quickly. There is no time for discussion or planning. When you think about it, they are kind of like the stimulus package; so important that taking the time to read a few hundred pages that include spending close to a trillion dollars would be a waste of valuable time. We need this package passed now! Like me, I guess the government can deal with the consequences later. Unlike me, there truly are consequences in their actions. If I screw up Mrs. Bald Man just yells at me.

I am staying at my favorite Holiday Inn Express tonight and am looking forward to a breakfast of instant oatmeal and a banana. There isn't much better a breakfast in my opinion. Just add a bit of hot water, stir, and in a few moments, immediate gratification. We live in an instant age. Microwave dinners, 15 minute oil changes, downloadable movies (and not just porn, real movies, too) and instant messaging mean we don't have to wait for anything anymore. My oatmeal is filling and better for me than those award winning cinnamon rolls they tempt you with by putting them immediately beside the utensils and napkins on the breakfast bar. Both reside in the realm of immediate gratification though. I guess everything that is immediate isn't good. Again, kind of like an immediate spendulus package.

The immediacy of the move to socialism that is the stimulus has me wondering just how fast we will see results for it is evident that, when The ONE wants something, it gets done fast. Look at how quick he found a house for Henrietta down in Florida. I hear Julio got a one day furlough from flipping burgers under the arches to do play by play for the Ft. Myers minor league baseball team. It is so fitting their name is the Miracle. Caterpillar announced they would rescind the layoffs of 22,000 employees once the pork laden bill passes. (Thanks to the immediate results of an internet search engine, I was able to quickly discover that the company's Chairman, Jim Owens, is a member of The ONE's Economic Recovery Advisory board.) Caterpillar will wait for the spendulus to pass. There is still no mention in any of these articles about Intel is not waiting for the stimulus to make their multi-billion dollar investment. Intel is a bit more in tune with the do it yourself immediate nature of today.




If more companies decided to go forward instead of waiting to see what the government is about to do to and for us we probably wouldn't need the Congress to vote on a bill they haven't had time to fully read. Unforntately, government, even before they come in and screw things up, make life difficult for businesses. The most evil of all corporations, WalMart wants to expand in this time when business, according to The ONE in his press conference, has no money to expand and needs government to help. What WalMart needs is for government to get the hell out of its way. The world's largest retailer has one store currently operating in Chicago. It was like pulling teeth to get it open. Now they want to build six more and officials are resisting. I guess the elected ones in the first African American President's political home state would rather wait for the feds to send money instead of soiling themselves with cash from a bunch of Arkansas slave traders. This makes sense right? We all know that government run agencies do everything better. Just ask these people in India. They've seen the light but won't see anything else.

Unlike the faithful in Chicago, some cities aren't sitting around waiting for Uncle Barack. They are instead sitting on the side of the highway waiting for Uncle Gordon to speed on by on his way to Walmart. Yes, states and cities are getting their own immediate stimulus in the form of parking and speeding tickets. This isn't the type of recovery we need. Money doesn't need to flow to government. It needs to stay in the hands of individuals and businesses who can put it immediately in to this struggling economy. But, the folks in the beltway don't get it. They don't understand how business works. They only know how government works.

We won't know for some time if the spendulus package is working to help the economy recover. We may never know for sure if it worked at all. The economy, like it has several times before, could heal itself. There won't be an instant turnaround. There are signs of hope in the form of business leaders who refuse to abandon capitalism and succumb to The ONE's ideal of America. Focus on them and you may see there is light at the end of the tunnel. We haven't found the gold at the end of the rainbow but I have hope. I hear Selma Hayek may be coming to town and with my bald head I might be able to pass for an infant!


S2

If you can't say something nice....you must be trying to take over the economy.

If I may be so bold as to once again take a cue from Glenn Beck: My head is literally about to explode! Watching the beggars, whiners and women mouthing "I love you Barack" during The ONE's so-called Town Hall meeting and re-election campaign launch in Florida today, I nearly became sick. Is this what our country has become? 1200 supposed regular folk flock (say that ten times fast. Just not in front of the kids.) to ask for houses, health care and, I wouldn't be surprised, backrubs from the Savior in Chief. I hope he does one of these in Utah. I've been looking for a new car and, if I play my cards right, some government employees wife might give me one if I can just shed a few tears in front of the cameras. Hmmm... I wonder if I will have to pay taxes on my "gift"?

I am still reeling from last night's fear cast regarding our economy and the fact that "only government" has the ability to get us out of this mess. Obama was like Robert De Niro's character in Cape Fear tormenting those who got him elected. The protagonist in this remake believed his lawyer withheld pertinent information during his trial which led to his conviction. In a sick plot twist, Obama seems to be the one holding back and his "remake" of the New Deal is one sequel that shouldn't be made.

While lying about the spendulus package's pork laden loins and skipping completely the complete takeover of our health care system cleverly hidden between the lines, the first African American President painted a portrait of a future full of doom and gloom that only the broad brush strokes of an artistically wielded, (hopefully free of foreign dependence) oil brush of government stimulus and control could prevent. He deferred commenting on the new TARP program so as to not "steal the thunder" of his Treasury Secretary, Timothy "I can't use Turbo Tax but I can run the IRS" Geithner. Today Mr. Geithner outlined a plan to spend another target=blanktwo trillion dollars that is so undefined it makes a Monet look crisp. Wall Street reacted by dropping over 300 points.

Continually framing our economic situation as a crisis is working for the administration. The speed at which they say action needs to be taken is evidently a way to try to keep prying eyes from looking beneath the coats of spending to see the true image on the canvas. It is at though the only news reaching the beyond the recently ordained Pearly Gates of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is bad. But we know better.

Before grabbing his palette full of colorful White House reporters and their white washed questions and speaking before a country of Rose Colored Glasses wearing supporters about how business was incapable of getting us out of this crisis without government, the President called Intel CEO Paul Otellini to congratulate him on his company's announcement to spend $7 billion over the next two years building plants in the western United States. They are doing it without government funding. So much for the "fact" that the government is the "only" savior we have. Well, other than THE Savior recently elected that is. The free market can and will work if we continue to let it but the spendulus package is about to paint us in to a corner.

Headlines tout how Mr. Otellini supports the President's plan. Most bury this quote deep inside:

On the other hand, as an unabashed capitalist, I worry as government spending approaches 40 percent. At some point in time we look more like a European economy than a classic American economy. ... We’ve got to be cautious as the economy grows again that we try to let the private sector grow faster than the government sector and get it back to balance.

I guess it would have been a bit too much to ask for the President to share some good news with the masses. If he had we might have questioned just how much we have to sacrifice for this artful plan.

I sometimes wonder why I mention any of this. I should just up and run to a more free Caribbean Island. It is obvious you don't care. Just ask Chuck Shumer.



S2

The check is in the mail

I have this propensity to keep the pens from my hotel rooms and bring them home. Mrs. Bald Man has demanded that I cease the practice as our drawers are overflowing with them. With this stated fact I must beg your forgiveness for not taking notes during the first press conference from the first African American President of the United States.

Like most press conferences there was a lot of nothing said but much of it deserves to be commented on. Unfortunately, being flush with pens but sans paper, I must rely on the many thoughts flying around my scattered brain like so many kernels of popcorn exploding in one of Mr. Redenbacher's bags in the microwave. The hard part is, like this type of corn, my ideas are finished popping in about three minutes so I best type fast.

If you didn't watch this press conference in which the press didn't press much, you might not catch the relevance of some of these comments but press on through and I will try to provide you some things to watch for in the news.

The ONE's denial of the existence of "pork" in this stimulus bill was truly an outright lie. Call me an anti-semantic but just because the spending here isn't directly targeted by a specific office holder doesn't mean it is not an earmark. If it isn't pork by definition it still comes from a pig. Millions for a Frisbee golf course squeals more than Ned Beatty in Deliverance. The poke is further populated by sending a check to individuals who don't pay taxes and calling it a tax cut.

Much ado was made by the President about his having inherited this crisis and that, going forward, he wasn't going to make the same mistakes and follow the same failed policies of the past eight years. He commented that these past policies doubled the deficit in recent years. Well, Mr. President, if one of the problems of the last eight years was the doubling of our deficit, how will spending an amount equal to about two thirds of everything produced in the country last year help? Running up a deficit didn't work so let's run up an even bigger one.

About a year ago, checks were sent out to the majority of people in this country. These checks were going to help stimulate the economy and stop the economic skid. It didn't work. Our new plan is to send out bigger checks to the majority of the people in this country to help stimulate the economy and stop the economic skid.

I will let pundits and others with bigger brains than me wax eloquently about the inaccuracies in Obama's statements regarding the biggest crisis since the depression and Japan's lost decade. In neither of these situations did government spending work to solve the problems and turn around the economic slides. The ONE is happy to use his clever little quip about how a stimulus package "by definition" spends money. I'm not a Harvard grad but my dictionary defines stimulus this way:

n., pl. -li (-lī').

1. Something causing or regarded as causing a response.
2. An agent, action, or condition that elicits or accelerates a physiological or psychological activity or response.
3. Something that incites or rouses to action; an incentive

I don't see mandatory spending hinted at. Do you?

The lap dogs in the press corps tossed a few softball to the President about Iran, Afghanistan and A Rod's steroid use. In way of answering, Obama blabbered about how it would be somewhat of a bad kind of thing if somehow Iran were to become a member nation in the Nuclear weapon club. This milk toast answer is in stark contrast to the definitive "Iran can not be allowed to acquire or develop Nucular (sic) arms" statement by George W Bush. Regarding the A-Roid question, I have to wonder if it is any surprise the Washington Post is failing. In the midst of a press conference about the supposed worst economic crisis since Ceasar needed Jesus Christ to convince the taxpayers to render unto him what was his, their White House correspondent asks a baseball question? It should be strikes one two and three he is out of there!

Helen "I hate George Bush and I am a liberal" Thomas proved her significance ended sometime in the Nixon years by asking if "so-called terrorists" were in Pakistan. Huh? I think in addition to being in the bag for Obama she is one of those women thinking of him in the sack. Ewwww.....I need a bag just thinking about that.


Other than the fact that Nurses find it hard to read Doctors' handwriting I don't know that anything new was revealed during this press conference. However, read between the lines of Obama's reference to "electronic advancements in health care" and you will see the road to Nationalized Health Care is being paved with stimulus funds.

Get off my lawn!

The title of this post probably conjures up an image of a crotchety old man in a tshirt, work pants with a gardening implement of some sort in his hand, fist held high and shaking, yelling at a group of hooligans who dared breach his property line and tread on his finely coiffed yard. Gather two or three of these geezers in one location and the disdain they hold for these trespassing ruffians becomes palpable. After two or three rounds at the bar the act of short cutting across ones property becomes a sign of the impending crash of modern civilization when control of the economy, government and education systems is turned over to the next generation.

During the recent presidential election, a fair amount of commentary was centered on the generational differences between The ONE and John McCain. McCain was the old school hard property line protecting curmudgeon who supposedly couldn't even send an email and a fan of fences and Obama was a BlackBerry wielding, Hip Hop filled MP3 player carrying baby boomer full of new ideas and energy who couldn't wait to walk across the White House lawn.

I don't think any generation, as they see their control slipping away, feels there progeny worthy of carrying on in a way that befits their standards for running the world. I know I look at the current class of graduates and know my tax dollars have been misused by the government run schools. These bozos know less than James "Handyman" Taylor about history, biology or any of a number of subjects. They are first rate at Internet surfing, sexting and being Green but common sense isn't so common among their ranks.

I was at McDonald's glaring at a group of pants half off their ass and underwear showing nimrods trying use basic math skills to see if their combined change was enough for a Big Mac and fries when a realization hit me. My parents generation had the same lack of faith in my peers as I do in these brain dead adolescents. And it is my generation now taking over. The newly elected first ever African American President is my age.

I look at the work ethic of the new administration, and the lack of ethics displayed by recent nominees, and think perhaps my parents were right to doubt us. So far the best they can come up with is "I won". Think that is a harsh opinion? It has been but a few weeks that The ONE has been at the helm and newspapers, television and the net are all running stories about the "stir crazy" or antsy President and how he and Michelle had to "escape" from the White House bubble. The spendalooza package was passed by the Senate tonight. This, as stated by the President at a "we can have a five star retreat on the public's dime but the banks better not" Democratic meeting yesterday, has to be passed or it will be a catastrophe. Obama wasn't around to comment even though he claimed to be involved in this mess. It is Friday and that is date night for him and Michelle. I am all for putting family first but...come on.

Kool-aid drinkers will say these are not examples of a poor work ethic. True. They are symptomatic of a lack of professionalism and outright arrogance in my opinion. This man, with his months of Senate experience before he started campaigning, is now at the helm of a pretty large economic machine that is having engine problems and he thinks he is a mechanic. His stubborness at keeping his BlackBerry, showing up late to everything and continued breaking of campaign promises may not be signs of a lack of work ethic. They are signs of immaturity and arrogance and, if the press ever decides to do its job and take an impartial look at him, the bloom will soon be off the Rose.

Thankfully there are Republicans (and 11 Democrats in the House) who are acting like adults. Uncle Mitt chimed in too with old man sage advice regarding the spendalooza. The newer, younger members of our elected glitteri seem to have forgotten the philosophies and principles of the Founding Fathers and are ignorant of any struggle older than the Pepsi Generation.

And with all those damn kids cutting through the White House Rose Garden, it could be a while until our economic grass is greener. I have to stop now, my head is like an Alaskan volcano and about to erupt.

S2

The synergistic job saving ability of the stimulus package

No wonder Barack and Michelle had to get out of the White House for a while yesterday. Two whole weeks of hard work and we Americans still don't get it. The approval ratings for the spendalooza stimulus package is now hovering around 30%. This is down from 50% just a few short weeks ago. Perhaps if they add a few more hiking trails, disc golf courses and condom programs to the bill more people will be for it. Just keep the money from those religious nuts! They better do something, The ONE has said if it doesn't get passed soon...well...umm...he might be a one term president!

According to our deer in the headlights Speaker of the House, every month that passes before the package is passed will see 500,000,000 Americans lose their jobs! Considering the total population of our country is around 300,000,000 that is some serious consequence! Her figures must include the millions of illegal aliens and their several jobs each.



The defeatist in me says, "Why even bother?" Global Warming is going to have us all starving to death soon no matter what we do. Chu on this if you don't believe me.

The House stands for something and the Senate falls for anything.

I wrote back in December that the Democrats didn't need to get to 60 votes in the Senate to have their filibuster proof majority. With Al Franken and Norm Coleman still battling for Minnesota's Senate seat in a wrestling match worthy of a pay-per-view airing as the under card to the tag team match of Daschle/Geithner vs. Common Sense/American Taxpayer the party in power has been circling the ring in anticipation of pinning the Republicans to the mat in all matters legislative.

Part of the impetus behind that post were gutless, go along to get along Republicans who have drunk the Obama Kool-Aid. Guys like Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) who was recently nominated to head The ONE's Commerce Department. Gregg's acceptance of this nomination opens the door for New Hampshire's Democratic Governor to replace him with a fellow Democrat. Supposedly there are assurances this will not happen. I almost hope Governor Lynch reneges on this promise just to prove, once again, the current crop of Republican officials in Washington need to be replaced for incompetence and gullibility.

But would putting a Democrat butt in Gregg's seat be that much different from the ass currently occupying it? Michelle Malkin points out, in her usual inimitable style, that Gregg and Barack seem to be twin sons of different mothers in the area of the so-called stimulus porkalooza. Phil Klein over at American Spectator asks simply, "What was Gregg Thinking?"

Republicans in the House, despite standing in unison and voting unanimously against the soon to be One Trillion Dollar bailout of everything under the Sun, couldn't stop the express train to socialism. Republicans in the Senate currently can. But they can only do it if their leadership can ride herd and keep all their members together. (I was hoping for a pork related analogy here but you just don't herd pigs.) Unfortunately, like cattle to the slaughter, the stimulus bill is stampeding its way through the Senate and the strongest words of resistance we hear from Republican leaders like Mitch McConnell are, "“Our goal is not to kill it. Our goal is to make it better.” The GOP, he insisted, “has an open mind... Nobody that I know of is trying to keep a package from passing.” With supposed stalwart conservatives like McConnell capitulating to the death of Capitalism and others like Phil Graham and Orrin Hatch cowing to The ONE's wishes to put the likes of Eric Holder and Timothy Geithner in positions of power what does it matter if the Democrats officially get to 60 votes? They can milk the Republican ranks for every vote they need without need to increase their ranks.

All bitching aside, it is time to get to the meat of the issue. Democrats are feeding the stimulus package with every pork laden idea hatched since the Carter administration. Like Lambs to the slaughter Republican Senators are going along to a future about as promising as a turkey with a guest appearance in a Sarah Palin interview. As a life long vegetarian, small government Capitalist, I find all of this pretty hard to swallow.

To the victors go the spoils that spoil the victors

At the White House last week a few Senate Republicans, realizing they weren't actually eunuchs, found the testicular fortitude to question our first African American President on his lack of support for more tax cuts. Obama attempted to neuter this argument, cutting the questioners to the proverbial quick with faster than the vets at the Humane Society makes the neighborhood safe from Sparky's antics, with the simple statement, "I won the election".

Unlike the Senate vote in Minnesota, you can't argue that fact: The ONE did win. But does that victory mean everything he wants is now a fait accompli? If you listen to the mainstream media it would seem so. For in their eyes, in briss-like timing, on the Eight Day God created Obama!

House Republicans held ranks closer than overweight soldiers in a very small foxhole amid an artillery shower by voting unanimously against the pork laden, over inflated and sure to fail Stimulus Package. Unfortunately the same strategy may bomb in the Senate where go along to get along Republicans are likely to cross enemy lines and surrender their principles with a white flag vote for the package. We can only hope these usually free stepping turncoats decide that, on occasion, lock step is a good thing and that all the Republican Senators keep formation and vote no.

While all our attention is focused, as it should be, on the discussions in Congress over this attack on our capitalist economic system that is the winner's top priority, there remain numerous examples of hypocrisy, hubris and half-wittedness in the new administration that beg to be commented on.

As mentioned in a previous blog under the definition of hypocrisy, the President recently signed an Executive Order that "forbids anyone on his team from working in an agency or on a program for which they lobbied in the last two years". How then is it that there is little questioning or outrage that in the past few days "a number of exceptions have been granted, with the administration conceding at least two waivers and that a handful of other appointees will recuse themselves from dealing with matters on which they lobbied within the two-year window." I guess it shouldn't matter. After all, Obama did win the election.

While on the campaign trail discussing global warming, the then first African American candidate with a real chance of being elected President Obama said, "“We can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times … and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK.”

“That’s not leadership. That’s not going to happen,” he added.

Just this week, the recently inaugurated first African American President Obama chided Washington, DC area schools for canceling classes due to inclement weather saying, "“Because of what? Because of some ice?” He said Sasha, his 7-year-old, pointed out that in Chicago, not only is school never canceled for snow, “you’d go outside for recess. You wouldn’t even stay indoors.”

The tough talking first African American President was exposed to be a bit thin blooded when, in an effort to explain the new casual dress code in the Oval Office Senior Advisor David Axelrod stated, "“He’s from Hawaii, O.K.? He likes it warm. You could grow orchids in there.” So we won't be able to drive our SUVs and keep our houses warm but to avoid wearing a suit coat, and by extension showing the official office of the first African American the respect it deserves, the First African American Hawaiian President can crank up the heat to hot house levels. Then again, he did win.

Finally, in a have it your way celebration that makes the King of Burgers seem like a pauper, the First African American Hawaiian President to win office and members of Congress celebrated the passing of the soon to fail stimulus package with a $100 per serving cocktail party. I guess tiny cocktail weenies have no place in this White House although I believe they are readily available at the testosterone challenged soirees of Senate Republicans. (Before you write me letters, I know not all in the Senate are male but I couldn't figure out how to make the symbolism work in a gender neutral way. Deal with it.) On the bright side, it seems some Senators get it although they did join in the extravaganza. I suppose the over the top, budget be damned party is understandable because...

say it together...

Obama won the election.

S2

Is Leisure Suit Larry due for a comeback?

[My plane to Phoenix was delayed. It is late and I’ve an early morning……]

I feel like Sherman, having just gotten out of the “Way back” Machine with that smartest of dog scientists, Mr. Peabody, and am once again firmly entrenched in the 1970’s. Of course, being that Peabody's Improbable History on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show was on in the 60’s I guess the “Way back” machine wouldn’t have been a requirement for travel.

This very day in 2008 could have existed in the 1970’s as well. Clint Eastwood is number one at the box office. Stories of Elvis Presley’s death are all over the television. Control of the House and Senate are firmly in the hands of the Democrat party. A black family is “movin’ on up” and we are about to have an extremely liberal Democrat President in the White House. Ok, that last sentence was a “twofer” at PEBO’s (Neal Boortz’s acronym for President Elect Barack Obama) expense but I was running short of examples. And finally, news organizations are starting to warn of a potential Ice Age.

To say “what goes around comes around” or “everything old is new again” would only serve to reinforce that, in adages as well as everything else, “there is nothing new under the Sun”.

One other similarity between today and the 70’s is the economy sucks. It wasn’t unprecedented government spending that turned the gas line economy of Jimmy Carter around. It was the conservative and capitalist ideas and ideals of Ronald Reagan. It seems all consideration of free market solutions to today’s economic woes is about as likely as Joe the Plumber winning a Pulitzer for his reporting.

In about nine days Pelosi’s House and Reid’s Senate will present the newly inaugurated PEBO with a plan to spend more money, control more business and stifle more freedom than ever could have been imagined by the wig wearing geniuses back in Philadelphia so long ago. We will be asked to do our share, buck up, suck it up and shut up and take it.
Back in the 70’s we had a few real Republicans in Congress. Let’s hope a few them in office today remember leisure suits and Saturday Night Fever.

[Sorry for the abrupt end. My schedule will hopefully soon settle down into its usual state of chaos and I will again wax on endlessly. I hope you can’t wait.]

S2

Look, up in the sky, it's a birdbrained, a plain stupid and Superbad stimulus

All superheroes need a catch phrase. Superman has “up, up and away”. Bruce Banner’s Hulk says, “You won’t like me when I am angry”. “We are the future” was uttered only once by X-Men’s Magneto but it fit so well. And who can forget Conan invoking his God on frequent occasion saying, “By Crom” before severing a limb or a head.
The Thing said “It’s clobberin’ time”. But what catch phrase will be associated with The ONE. At present, our nation’s newest superhero, Barack “The ONE” Obama, seems taken with Buzz Lightyear’s “To infinity and beyond”; at least when he is talking about government spending.


In his mild mannered community organizer alter ego days he spoke often about change. This change message continued through is super ego days as a state and national senator. Now that he is free of the mask of the political candidate, The ONE is beginning to act like the ultra ego, trying not to chain smoke savior that many feel was elected.

Coming faster than a speeding bullet the unstoppable stimulus package is growing to a height that even superman would need several bounds to clear. On Tuesday, November 18th, it was reported The ONE wanted $300 Billion dollars as a stimulus package. This figure was, at the time, twice the size of most of the proposals floated by those of his own party in Congress. One week later, that figure Hulked up to $500 Billion. It was $600 Billion on December 11th. One day later it hit ONE TRILLION dollars!

My spidey sense is tingling and it isn’t in that good Kirsten Dunst in a rain soaked shirt kind of way. It is a “where’s a real hero when you need one” feeling. Smallville may be Superman’s hometown but it is nowhere near where the size of our government is going to be should The ONE get his way and, from the looks of it, his minions are poised to truly be his boy and girl wonders.

We can only hope the Republicans in the Senate and House have a supply of Kryptonite laced moves to derail the coming train of spending.

Until then, we will have to be our own superheroes. If you want to come up with a catch phrase of your own, go here for help. If you do, send me your phrase so I know what to yell when you fly by.

S2

Money for nothing but Rock Chips are free

There is not much better than taking a deep breath of cool, clean mountain air on a fall morning. There’s something magical about the thin, lower oxygenated gas that, despite making it sometimes difficult to catch your breath on the long trudge to the end of the driveway to check the mail, fills you with energy. The thinness of the air also lets objects fly farther. Frisbees, golf balls, midgets and rocks kicked up by semi tractor trailers seem to stay aloft for much greater distances than at sea level. I guess that is why I seem to be replacing my windshield every year. Fortunately for me, a new windshield is free.

That’s right, I go down to the windshield shop drop off my vehicle and about 45 minutes later I drive away with a freshly installed, sparkling clean, temporarily bug free pigeon target and I didn’t have to fork over a cent. Of course we know there’s no such thing as a free lunch or, in this case, windshield. Somebody has to pay for it and they aren’t cheap. The glass installers bill my auto insurance company and they aren’t cheap. The companies that install them are selling brand spanking new ones and it isn’t likely they offer them an “it fell off the back of a truck” discount. I mean for some things that might be a way to get a discount but in the world of automotive glass the practice has some flaws. Knowing this, I don’t go out and immediately get a new windshield at the first sign of a chip. Why should my insurance company have to pay frequently because I have a tendency to tailgate dump trucks? Others, though, seem to have no compulsion against this? If it is transparent to me that this isn’t a free service, what keeps everyone else from seeing the light through the glass?

I guess it is because people will do just about anything if they think there’s an opportunity to get something free; or even if it is just discounted. The news yesterday showed people lined up outside department stores in some of our larger, overwhelmingly liberal voting metropolitan areas waiting for two and three days to be first in line for the amazing deals on Black Friday. One guy was asked what the big sale item was that he was waiting for and he said, “I don’t know but I am sure it will be worth the wait”. Huh? Did this Scarecrow just admit he was spending three days perched outside, in the rain, peeing in a porta-potty and sleeping in a lawn chair for the sole purpose of being first in line to receive a gift from the great and powerful OZ-Mart. Oh, if he only had a brain?

UPDATED: 11/28 - Unfortunately, I saw this headline during this morning's required reading. Items on sale at the Wal-Mart store included a $798 Samsung 50-inch Plasma HDTV, a Bissel Compact Upright Vaccum for $28, a Samsung 10.2 megapixel digital camera for $69 and DVDs such as "The Incredible Hulk" for $9 END UPDATE

The lure of getting “something for nothing” is extremely strong. It is what drives people to buy lottery tickets, go to Las Vegas, cheat on their taxes and buy houses they can’t afford because the magic of “equity” will kick in before they have to pay for it.

I’ve had more fights with the IRS than Michael Vick has dogs. In most of them I came out ahead because I keep meticulous, some would say anal, records and I pay what I am supposed to. It just seems the IRS trains their agents with the same consistency as crunchy peanut butter and their opinions are about as easy to swallow. So when I see these ads on late night TV, and vampire want to be that I am I see a ton of late night TV, advertising how you can get out of your IRS debt, I want bite someone’s head off. Sure the IRS is a blood sucking leach but companies like Tax Masters advertise they will get you out of your debt. Now wait a minute. If you owe $50,000 to the Federal Government; you should pay $50,000 to the Federal Government. How is it that they get away with paying less? I tried giving the nice lady at Albertson’s $1.20 for my jar of Jiffy yesterday because I was a bit short of the $3.95 she wanted and the only thing I got was escorted to the parking lot. I called the Freedom Financial Network and American Tax Relief for help but they both hung up on me.

Taxes are too high and I am guessing they will soon be going higher. That said, lemming that I am, I will pay what I owe and bitch the whole way to the post office at 11:59 on April 15th just to keep my money as long as I can. It irks me to learn others are treating the IRS like the guy selling goods from a parked truck in an alley and making cut rate deals. And it irks me even more to learn the IRS is letting them. In an act as compassionate as removing one’s tonsils via, umm, the “other end” the government reached in to my bank account and took $1500 they said I owed them. Now I puckered up the sphincter and took in my neatly typed, alphabetized and neatly folded records which proved they were wrong and got my money back but what’s with folks who admit they actually owe the moeny getting off for pennies on the dollar? Something doesn’t smell right here.

We aren’t supposed to blame the poor naïve home owner who was taken advantage of by unscrupulous lenders and now can’t afford their homes for getting us in to the financial dire straits we are in. We aren’t supposed to but I do. These Hansel and Gretel borrowers had to know they bit off a bigger bite of the peanut butter and ginger bread house and now that it is time to pay the Pied Piper, they go crying to Mother Government. It is unfortunate that they are being bailed out. I will admit it might be the Hans Christian Anderson thing to do in helping our neighbor. Except for the fact that right after the Tax Master ad last night was one for a mortgage lender who said, “With the influx of government money, we can now make loans to an even broader group of lenders. Don’t delay, apply today”. What was that old saying about fool me once shame on you fool me twice I must be an elected official?

Low Book Deals is a used car seller here in Utah. They announce they can approve you for a loan even if you’ve been turned down by everyone else. I am sure wherever you are there are similar companies. We had names in high school for girls who would give approval to anyone. Is there an equivalent for a business?

The days of personal responsibility are gone. We will soon have everything taken care of for us. Nationalized healthcare, government run 401K accounts and more free money are on the way with GPS directed accuracy. Just don’t ask who is going to pay for all of it. It might be my auto insurance company.


The only free lunches are those at soup kitchens and even they demand you say prayers before you eat the free peanut butter sandwiches that Hans' cousin Pam is handing out. Looking at the long lines of leeches outside the department store of government awaiting any kind of handout they can get I think a prayer might just be in order.

S2