Brown vs the "bored and educated"

Republicans are a a twitter and twittering their hearts out with the victory of Scott Brown in the Massachusetts Senate race.

Celebration is fine but....let's not get carried away.....

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

Tomorrow is a very big day in the former colony of Massachusetts. If you are one who relies on the New York Times for all the news that is fit to print, you might not be aware that the Republican candidate has taken a lead in the tightly fought race for the Senate seat that Democratic candidate Martha Coakley said Ted Kennedy would want her to have. I am pretty sure brothers John and Robert spoke through dead talker and fraud psychic John Edward to voice their spiritual approval of the state's attorney general and die hard Sox's fan.

Reports from the commonwealth are coming in faster than my addled brain can digest them and cover everything from Brown's once posing provacatively in a woman's magazine to how everything is still George Bush's fault.

This election is being touted as a referendum on Obama in general and health care reform in particular. Republican enthusiasm is running high while democrats seem resigned to lose... or cheat.


Of all the turns of events in this momentous campaign, none caught my eye more than the fitting support shown to Ms. Coakely by the son of the seat's rightful owner, Patrick Kennedy. It seems mispronouncing names is a Kennedy trait. Just like daddy mangled the president's name during his campaign, his son doesn't even know the name of the candidate he is endorsing.

This is going to be an interesting few days. As I blogged before, the Dems are ready to slow the swearing in of Brown should he win. Let me go on record now and predict a recount being called for before the polls even close!

Clearing the air for Health care

The ground had barely stopped shaking on the island nation of Haiti before relief and support from around the world, but especially from the ever philanthropic United States citizenry, began pouring in like a tsunami. Politicians, with their hurricane force winds of hot air are expressing an appropriate amount of sympathy while posturing to garner additional points in re-election polls commensurate with their promised level of government assistance.

Following the advice of Rohm Emmanuel, no one it seems is willing to let this crisis go to waste. While legitimate fund raising is going on, thieves and con artists are raining a typhoon of scams down upon the big of heart and small of mind who want to help but don't realize most charities wouldn't use a long lost Facebook buddy to ask on their behalf. The not so Reverend Pat Robertson set off a tornado of controversy with his ill timed and absolutely cruel comments. His mouth should be washed out with Holy Water. Even the global warming, sorry global climate change, nuts have taken the Glovers off in an effort to stop their recent drought of support.


Actor Danny Glover provides yet another example of why those who make a living portraying other people should never be allowed to speak in public unless they've been handed a script and there is a bearded guy in a baseball cap sitting close by in a folding chair ready to yell "cut" the second they lose focus. Let's hope George's teleprompter has enough battery to make it through an entire telethon lest we be subject to extemporaneous Hollywood banter. Thankfully, the majority of Haitians won't be watching. They've suffered enough.

Not to be outdone by the generosity of the evil empire to the north, Fidel Castro wheezed orders from his permanent deathbed to temporarily rescind the no fly rules over Cuba to allow American relief planes to more quickly ferry victims from the poverty stricken island 90 miles to the south to modern medical facilities 90 miles to the north. It is compassion like this that puts you in the running for an elusive and difficult to win Nobel Peace Prize. Look out President Obama, your likely back to back victory is in danger.

I shouldn't make light of the grandiose offering by Cuba. Having to fly around the island adds an hour and a half to what could be a critical situation. I just wonder why we'd even ask permission. We should just fly over. I mean, by the time the pilots in the Cuban air force put down their Havana's and wind up the single prop, the patient would be in the recovery room. What I should question is the need for us to fly over the country at all?

Haiti, as mentioned, lies but 90 miles from Cuba's white sand beaches crowded with topless Canadians and Americans claiming to be Canadian who would be topless but can't commit to being as faux European as our neighbors to the north. So why don't we take those needing emergency medical treatment to this much closer bastion of medical science? Michael Moore, another of the modern liberal intelligentsia, in his highly fictionalized documentary Sicko showed us the modern, well stocked and pristine hospitals that only a government, a socialist one at that, can run. So why force critical patients to endure a flight twice as long as it needs to be? You'd think Fidel would be happy to nurse back to health some able bodied Haitians to replace the flood (whew, worked in one more natural disaster) of able bodied Cubans paddling to the Keys for a chance at a someday receiving socialized medicine here in Obama's America. The American health care system, if you've listened to the rhetoric from the very light skinned thin guy from Nevada recently, is crumbling faster than a Swedish clinic's floor under the weight of a Weight Watchers group meeting. So why are we going to further traumatize the poor Haitians by bringing them here? We can't even dispense pain pills right.

Am I as guilty of politicizing for the sake of possible persuasion, the suffering of a people who've already suffered under an oppressive government in Haiti as those whose motives I disdain? Perhaps. I don't mean to. Natural disasters have a way of exposing frailty in social structure as much as they do a frailty in infrastructure. We are still in a position in the United States to offer unparalleled assistance when tragedy strikes around the world. We are in this position because we've build an infrastructure on solid foundations and and economy and society on the foundations laid by our fore fathers. We are on the verge of experiencing a tectonic shift of monumental proportion with the passage of government run health care and even more social spending bills. If we aren't careful, we might be asking Cuba for permission to fly over on our way to greener climes of our own.

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Time waits for no mandate

At the end of each work day, I ask myself if I feel I earned my pay in what I did for the company that day. Fortunately, being in a low paid position has it's advantages as my goals are somewhat reduced from those of your average fry flipper in a paper hat. Even with this self imposed benchmark, I find some projects delayed well past my personal point of comfort. In the world of private business, that is very bad. In the world of government, I hope for this to be a frequent occurrence.

I am one for whom the idea of governmental gridlock is a good thing. The less done by these slaves to the power of the ballot box the better off we all are. This goes for the federal, state and local levels of public service.

It is therefore somewhat unsettling for me to complain about a situation of possible governmental delay. Next week the voters (and quite possibly a few illegal aliens) of the state of Massachusetts will head to the polls to decide on an elected replacement to fill the senatorial seat vacated when Ted Kennedy joined Mary Jo Kopechne for that final car ride in the sky. The polls are showing a very close race and it is quite possible a Republican could win the seat. If that happens, the Democrats super majority of 60 votes will disappear quicker than a reality show about the Jackson family sans Michael.

Should Republican Scott Brown win the seat, MA Secretary of State William Galvin has the ability to wait 10 days for absentee ballots to arrive and another five to then file the paperwork. He could probably schedule a few days vacation but that might be pushing the envelope a bit too far. This delay would enable the interim seat holder, Paul Kirk, Jr, to vote yeah on the healthcare bill and make sure he has two weeks notice to give on his apartment in DC.

This normal and legal waiting period would not give me pause were it not for the fact Galvin bypassed these same rules way back in 2007 to seat a fellow Democrat in the House who joined in overriding a veto by then President and still hated George W Bush.

As it typical in government, politics overrides doing what is right. Or even doing what is consistent. At the end of the day I hope Mr Galvin asks himself if he earned his civil servant's six figure paycheck. Or if he earned only the respect of pundits while sacrificing ethics.

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And now a word from our newest sponsor

This blog runs on a shoestring budget and, to keep the lights on, occasionally we have to reach out to advertisers. The political slant, minuscule readership and disagreeable nature of the staff scare off most main frame marketers. Therefore, we can't be too picky when a willing sponsor comes calling.

It may be coincidence but the envelope that contained this month's ad arrived at our office postmarked from Amsterdam on Christmas Day. Let's hope their check clears.




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Who wants to live for ever

I was in an O'Hare airport bookstore today trying to decide between a business book on decision making and Tera Patrick's expose on the life of a porn star for my in-flight reading pleasure. I decided on Sway, a book which discusses our propensity to make bad decisions in light of obvious evidence that our decision will, in fact, be bad. Halfway through the flight, in validation of my purchased book's premise, I was wishing I'd gone with the ghost written book about an adult film legend. The cover alone was worth the price of admission.

Of course, until I saw her book at the front of the store, I had never heard of Tera Patrick. A quick Internet search informs me she is an adult star of some note. This woman is at the top of her profession and her movies are under the mattresses of teenage boys across the globe. Yet, more people have never heard of her than have.

I began to think about fame and how few truly make it past Mr. Warhol's fifteen minute time limit. Today would have been the 75th birthday of Elvis Presley. Today still he remains a household name. From the grave and through his estate he remains one of the top earning artists in the world and Cirque Du Soleil has devoted a Las Vegas stage to Elvis and, I am sure, a few topless Tera Patrick wanna be dancers.

I took a quick look at the Billboard top 100 for this week. Somehow I doubt we will be honoring Ke$ha, Lady GaGa or Jay-Z thirty three years after they take a final bow and their personal fat lady's sing. Of the remaining 97 artists, Michael Jackson is the only one likely to cheat death by being remembered. I can't help but wonder if we will discuss his career in white and black years like we talk about the thin and fat Elvis.

Fame, and the quest for it, inspires people to act for the purpose of effect rather than the purpose of right. Too often these seekers are rewarded with fame, fleeting as it surely will be. The two White House "party crashers" will be hosting a party of their own in Las Vegas. Jon and Kate are burning through enough ink in the tabloids to print a dozen copies of the Healthcare bill. Speaking of dead famous people, the "balloon boy's" dad has garnered an hour of his own on Larry King. And Fox is preparing for another round of their show designed to make famous another marginally talented karaoke singer.

As I work through my boring business book about the decisions we make and how easy it is to make the wrong ones, I can't help but think the world would be a better place if more people just did their best. Fame would find those, like Elvis, who deserve it and we could ignore the rest.

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Racism again rears its ugly head

How is this not racist?

The Chicago Police department doesn't think minorities are smart enough to pass their officer's test? I am ignorant of the exact quote but this policy is a prime example of the "soft racism of low expectation".

Instead of relaxing the criteria to become an officer in the Chicago Police department, perhaps there should be some increase in the qualifications needed to occupy an office in city hall.

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Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

Since the failed terrorist attach on Christmas day, travelers have been bracing themselves for the virtual anal probe that is coming to airport security in the form of full body scanners. On Fox News tonight, Ann Coulter, whose body scan image would likely fetch a fair amount on Ebay and one for which I would join in the bidding, joined ranks with the ACLU in decrying another ineffective government intrusion in the form of safety.

I've long complained about the inane and outright ludicrous security procedures in place at our nation's airports. We sheeple continue to flock to and through security turnstiles on our way to meetings and reunions because we've little alternative when faced with needing to be across our great continent in a short period of time. As TSA officials ogle our nearly nude images, saying they've got us by the short hair is appropriate when discussing our alternatives for transportation.

Instead of focusing on more likely terrorist subjects through profiling, all of us will have our "secrets" laid bare before the almighty agents of national security.

I only wish our leaders in our government's legislative body would be as forthcoming in their transparency. Despite several campaign promises of openness in debate, the health care bill will be finalized in secret, behind doors so thick that no scanner can penetrate.

CSPAN, the network The ONE promised to let host this debate has pledged to provide any resources needed to fully and unbiasedly cover this debate over nearly a quarter of our national expenditures. This pledge has fallen on the deaf, or more likely uncaring, ears cradling the heads of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. Not only will the debate be held in secret, these bastions of open debate are looking to suspend long held congressional traditions to protect their fellow party members from having to openly support this travesty.

So as you empty your pockets, take off your shoes and belts and jackets and socks and under-wire bras in order to sit in a too small seat and pay $7 for a beer, you can take solace in the fact your representatives in Washington will be secure, behind closed doors, making deals and hiding pork in thousands of pages of drivel designed to wrench control over the health of our nation.

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Maps, Apps and fine print

If you have been watching television in general or any one of the seemingly thousands of college bowl games specifically, you have most likely seen one of the competing ads for Verizon or AT&T focusing on maps of their coverage, etc. While I find ads from both companies marginally entertaining, I can't help wishing for a pause button to read the fine print that flashes briefly on the screen during the 30 second plea for business.

For, you see, it is in this fine print that the truth is told. We all know it. The FCC dictates the size, length of visualization and content of much of this fine print and it is done in order to protect us, the ignorant consumer, from being taken advantage of by evil corporations. This same regulation has brought us the super fast voice over in radio commercials and the laundry list of potential side effects (nausea, vomiting, anal bleeding, erectile dysfunction, increased ear hair or audible flatulence) for every drug currently marketed on television, radio or in print.

I've often wondered why any drug company would pay for an ad where over half of their media purchased time is spent pointing out potential problems from usage of their product instead of the benefits of the same. Imagine if Pizza Hut had to warn you of weight gain, stained shirts and lactose intolerance in every one of their ads.

The fact most people aren't even aware of the fine print in commercials is yet another example of the ineffectiveness of this type of government intrusion in to capitalist endeavors. Marketers have found ways to minimize their exposure in these disclaimers and ads often make outright fun of them.

So why is it that our lawmakers feel the need to impose regulations that serve little purpose, produce no results and frustrate both the producers and consumers of advertisements? I wish I knew but....I think of this type of ineffectiveness often when considering the increased regulations sure to appear with Health Care reform and new laws around supposed climate change.

Next time you are watching a show from your DVR or, in the old school case, VCR, take a pause from skipping a commercial to pause the commercial and read the fine print. Better yet, take a pause from the boob tube altogether and read the fine print in the health care bill. I think you will find that, instead of protecting us from evil corporations, we should find ways to protect ourselves from evil government instead.

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MMX

The $2 million dollar Waterford Crystal ball above Time's Square in New York hadn't even begun its symbolic New Year's descent from old to new and the 24 hour news stations were deep in to the first scandal of the new year. There's actually two closely related scandals being talked about simultaneously: do we call this new year Two Thousand and Ten or Twenty Ten and is Twenty Ten (I've not made a decision if this should be the moniker of choice but Twenty Ten is easier to type than Two Thousand and Ten) the last year of the first decade of the second millennium or is it the first year of the second decade of the second millennium? This issue is of such phenomenal importance that it supplanted both the Health Care debate and the attempted act of human caused tragedy (see the Obama Administration's official guide for dealing with angry men of Middle Eastern descent for clarification of this reference if you are confused) on Christmas day at the beginning of nearly every news story for several days.

New Years, in addition to providing useless drivel laced stories as fodder for television talking heads, is a time when many people feel the need to change their lives in dramatic fashion in the form of resolutions that are so encompassing that they become unreachable by the end of the second week of the year. I guess the idea of starting anew with a clean slate is more tolerable when your planning is being done on a freshly opened calendar. After six months of "we will start our diet and exercise program over again on Monday" because we had Waffle House breakfasts, McDonalds lunches and Pizza Hut dinners for two days straight, I fail to see what difference a change in digits on the date line of our checks to the health club is going to make in our ability to move our ever increasing butts off the couch and on to a treadmill. But hope springs eternal.

Like the flowers that appear each spring when our supposedly warming globe emerges from a winter's slumber, the Bald Man is back to provide his own personal stench upon the social and political climate in the form of mostly rambling and often disjointed blog posts. It has been a while since I've posted and much has happened. But like water under the proverbial bridge to nowhere, issues will constantly appear to make up for missed opportunity to comment on the death of Michael Jackson, the birth of National Health Care and the continued reign of The One. The well of scandal and idiocy runs deep in our nation's capitol and in the halls of governments from local to international.

I look forward to again sharing my thoughts and opinions and hope your wait for this award winning blogs return was more tolerable than that of Fox television executives anticipating an affirmative utterance from Simon Cowell regarding their latest contract offering.

This weekend is a working one so I'll see you Monday with a cup full of commentary.

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