If you can't beat 'em, entertain them

I spent a fair amount of the day yesterday and, again today, trying to get my laptop working. I don't know if it is a virus, spyware, the machine's age or my incompetence but, it isn't working. Finally today, I gave up and sent (from my BlackBerry) a "Help Me!!!!" email to our IT Department. They will get back to me tomorrow so tonight I commandeered Mrs. Bald Man's computer to share my thoughts for the day. There are too many stories to comment on so I've decided on a meandering monologue.

I try to be self-sufficient and it caused me great pain to admit defeat and call in the cavalry. Let's hope they bring enough horses to fix this electronic Indian uprising (sorry, "First American" uprising). Some may see this desire to do it myself as stubborn but I don't feel that way. I think in today's society too many are willing to let someone, namely the government, do things for them or to let someone else pay for it. There is also a dearth in those willing to stand up for what is right. Here are a few examples of decisions people are making today.

Case number 1: John Murtha, Pennsylvania congressman and slanderer of Marines, states plainly "If I'm corrupt, it's because I take care of my district. My job as a member of Congress is to make sure that we take care of what we see is necessary..."

He is protected in his corruptness by his fellow House members who, for the sixth time, refused to investigate connections between Jackie boy and some not so squeaky clean donations.

I think the story here is not the admittedly corrupt official. It is the fact he finds it easier to "go along with the corruption" instead of bringing it to light. Nancy has "drained the swamp" so he should have had no trouble.

Case 2: The New York Times decided to do what they felt was right for them instead of what was just plain right when, during the heat of election battle, they killed (meaning didn't run) a story linking vote fraud extraordinaire ACORN, Project Vote and the Obama Campaign and some unsavory electioneering. By unsavory I mean illegal. The story was suppressed because it could have been a "game changer".

If the NY Times put journalistic honesty over partisan belief, the First African American President of the United States to ever attend the G20 Summit might still be in the Senate and taking campaign contributions from AIG. I ask again, can there be anyone who refuses to admit the mainstream media was in the proverbial tank for the one now in the 'copter and flying around London?

Case 3: Call me a hypocrite on this one but, I will admit to having a song or two on my hard drive that don't reside on any CD that is in my personal collection. I therefore probably shouldn't pass judgement on anyone downloading movies, music or cheesecake recipes. I do draw a distinction between someone doing this for personal use and the pirating of said media for financial gain. This practice of illegal duplication is rampant in the People's Republic of China and, if you can dodge the tanks, you can pick up most first run movies or newly released CD in Tiananmen Square within days of their release.

In a move that smacks of giving up, Google will soon be providing free downloads of music to computer users in China. Rather than try to stop those making money for their needs from those providing from their ability. The move hopes to stem the tide of pirating by giving it away. But isn't this the equivalent of handing a thief the bullets for his gun? Now to copy the latest collection of Britney Spears synthesized vocalizations the thieves don't even have to purchase the first copy. They can just download it. Of course, the IP address of the computer will be verified to ensure it is in China. I guess the guys over at Google have never heard of IP spoofing.

Case 4: In an example of someone who is standing up for what is right, Rush Limbaugh announced he is pulling out of New York state completely in protest of confiscatory tax rates on the wealthy. His Atlas like shrugging is meant to send a very public signal that this type of redistributive tax will drive those targeted to warmer climes. I can guarantee he is leaving on his own jet plane and not in a taxi.

In typical "missing the boat" fashion, the NY Daily News sees fit to spend a good portion of the article discussing Mr. Limbaugh's personal life rather than commenting on the true nature of the debate.

Case 5: There is one other who needs to be mentioned for doing what was right. An unnamed Modesto, Ca police officer and his four legged partner squared off against a crowd of 60 unruly partiers and gang bangers. He happened on the group while responding to another call in the area and witnessed a man being beaten. Against large odds, the officer did what was right and held the crowd, who was heard to say "he will not get out of here alive", until backup could arrive. Both officers, the human and the canine, were injured.

What is the point of these examples? I guess just to illustrate that every day we are faced with choices. Our decision on what to do, most of the time, does not involve life or death circumstances but each one plays a part in the ongoing and developing nature of our society.

It has been said that character is what you do when nobody is watching. When we see just how poorly some people act when the world is watching, we can only imagine what their character truly is. Look in the mirror and state your case. Me? I am going to listen to some music while I fall asleep. Just don't ask where I got it.

S2

It is deadly when life imitates art (A.K.A If this van is a rockin' please come knockin')

Gather any group of 40 or 50 year old guys, mention Monty Python and invariably the next 20 minutes will be filled with British accents and the verbal replaying of a half dozen scenes from the Holy Grail. This classic comedy is still busting sides thirty-four years after it was released.

The infectious nature of this movie seems to provide credibility to the watch dog groups who sit in judgment on violent movies and count every bullet shot, appendage severed or nipple exposed. Their thesis is that violence portrayed on screen will find its way in to every day life. I've always been dubious of this opinion. However, after seeing news reports of impressionable teen boys acting out violently after diets of Grand Theft Auto and slasher films, I am beginning to think life's imitation of art can be portrayed in the comedic or dramatic venue; and there seems to be no plot too ludicrous for a dose of reality.

In Monty Python's Meaning of Life there is a skit involving a unique view of Organ donors and the contract they enter when they sign on the bottom line after waiting a few days in the line at the DMV. You may want to check the fine print after watching this:
(Warning: this "side splitting" humor involves actual side splitting and blood spattering)
While this concept may seem too outrageous to ever be played out, I am afraid our society of obliterated boundries and reality television is proving nothing is impossible.

It probably took the Chinese about one day to begin bootlegging The Meaning of Life when it came out. One can only wonder how long it took for one of these bootlegged copies to work its way up the food chain in the People's Government until it reached someone with enough power, enough motivation and so little care for human life to put the idea of live organ donations in to play.

In cities across China there are vans circling neighborhoods like vultures waiting to pounce on carrion. Except these vans arrive pre mortem. These death mobiles are like the Grim Reapers personal bus service and their stops are at the homes of those convicted and sentenced to death under the State's brutal penal code. There are no fewer than sixty-eight crimes punishable by death in China and among them are things as innocuous as fraud and, probably, passing wind in a closed elevator.

Death is by lethal injection and the sentence is carried out while double parked with the engine running. Officials seem to think the local nature of the execution serves as a deterrent and they are saving a ton by not having to feed a parking meter or maintain centralized facilities of death.

When the convicted have ceased their life function, doctors begin harvesting the dead's usable body parts; picking them clean faster than a Thanksgiving turkey at the Klump's house. Like Indians efficiently divvying up a Buffalo, the organs are dispersed to clinics all over China, where they are transplanted into the ailing bodies of the wealthy - and thousands more who come as 'organ tourists' from neighboring countries such as Japan, South Korea, Singapore and Taiwan.

The Communist government is hush hush on how many of these vans are in service though it is estimated there could be as many as 10,000 executions this year; more if Taco Bell expands to areas outside Beijing.

Of 10,000 liver transplants performed in the country last year, fewer than 300 of the "donated" parts came from voluntary donors. Statistics like this make me think twice when I hear researchers in the United States vehemently deny that embryonic research will ever lead to "cloning for parts" of human beings. I hear Schwarzzeneger's "The Sixth Day" (a cloning movie) was quite popular in the capital of Beijing a few years ago.

I just renewed my license a few months ago. I best check that donor line again.

S2

I never knew

This will be a short one today. It is later than the usual late night posting time and I've still got about 75 sites to review in "researching" a new topic.

I am behind schedule today because I took a nap. Just like a kindergarden student, I got all tired cramming new thoughts in to the tight recesses of my brain. I spent the plane ride home reading about Flash programming and then I got to help Mrs. Bald Man with some of her Photoshop final projects for her school. It was great having the chance to learn something new today.

What, you are asking yourself is funny about any of this and where is the bashing of The ONE? Sorry. Today's theme is one of self-improvement and humility. The more blogs, articles and postings I read the more I realize there are a lot of talented and creative minds floating around the ether that comprise the net. While we can't allow ourselves to rely on everything (or even most of) that we read in blogs or, unfortunately, "real" news sites, information is a precious and valuable commodity.

It is an overused example but, I have to use it. If I give you a dollar and you give me a dollar, we each have a dollar. If I give you an idea and you give me an idea, we each have two.

So, take the opportunity to learn something new today and then share that knowledge with someone else. We will all be better off for it.

That's it for today. I have to go take care of Mrs. Bald Man. She just tripped over the dog. Tomorrow, I will be back with vitriol and a good long rant.

S2

It is one of the 57 seven states

I missed the online Town Hall meeting held by The ONE today as, unlike many of those who seem to attend these types of events, I have a job. I haven't had a chance to check out any online replays but I did see a few of the questions. I am afraid that we have reached the tipping point. Why is every question asked of a government official these days centered around what the government is going to do for us. I've news for you folks, it isn't what the government does for us, it is what it does to us.

It does seem like the First African American President of the United States, along with his teleprompter, is everywhere these days. I doubt there is a sole left in our 57 states who hasn't seen him on Jay Leno, 60 Minutes, You Tube and I think I saw him in a cameo in the movie the Watchmen a few weeks ago. He was the one with all the super powers.

I guess when you are a former community organizer, part time Senator and expert on everything, you should be public in your views. Face it, what hasn't The ONE spoken about publicly? I will give you one thing.

In North Dakota, people are working feverishly to protect their belongings and homes from the rising waters of the Red River. It must be Global Warming, sorry make that Global Climate Change, creating automobile size ice chunks that are blocking the river on its northerly trip in to Canada. Or, perhaps, the Canadians think the river is a British activist MP and are denying it entry. Either way, the situation is severe.

Surprisingly, The ONE, just like he ignored the frozen, toothless, inbred hicks in Kentucky a few months ago when more Global Warming caused storms put out the power across the state making Hillcicles out of the country folk not lucky enough to have struck oil while hunting for food and had moved to 'Beverly, has ignored the goings on in Canada's basement.

He did declare a state of emergency. This is good as it frees up government assistance more quickly. But, face it, emergencies are declared nationwide at the first sign of a high wind or when polls begin to falter. And Barack Obama would never pass up an opportunity to increase government spending. Would he?

The fine, hard working citizens up in fly over country should be in our thoughts and our prayers. So far, their work is paying off but Mother Nature can be, well, a mother and it is but a matter of time until the levy breaks. Whether you agree with his policies or not, The ONE is our President. A word of encouragement on behalf of the country to those who, at this moment, probably feel as alone and helpless as an environmentalist on his way to the North Pole to show the effects of global warming stuck, without food, in a blizzard.

Perhaps someone can put a few well wishes in to the teleprompter for you.

S2

Too busy working to watch TV

Today is one of those days where holding a more than full time job interferes with your supply of witty reportage. In an evening display of multi-tasking that would make a one man band performing a Benny Goodman medley jealous, I rewrote a thirty minute script, burned a dozen CDs to my new network hard drive, Skyped with several co-workers, sent pictures of Snow Leopard cubs and Photoshopped Kim Kardashian images to Mrs. Bald Man electronically from the kitchen table to her office and watched the First African American President of the United State's second nationally televised news conference. To maintain my sanity, I had the sound turned down on The ONE and tried to catch as many of the subtitles as I could. Little did I know, this effort would provide insight that was validated through a quick search of the ever accurate Internet.

Three things struck me watching the President sans sound. First, I immediately noticed the absence of the ever present teleprompters. Second, there was a definite lack of "umm", "err" and "ahhs" in the subtitles. The alignment of these incongruous stars made me pause in my work effort and turn up the volume for a few moments. Sure enough, The ONE was delivering a cogent, crisply delivered but boring speech. There wasn't a verbal pause in earshot. Perhaps my criticism of his public speaking was unwarranted.

Sound turned down on the TV and headphones blasting Crosby, Stills and Nash (but no Young) firmly in place on the smooth dome, I was back to work and periodically watching our dear leader. It seemed he was uniquely focused on one particular reporter in the room. Could there be a Clintonesque scandal brewing? Did Jake Tapper of ABC have a spinach leaf in his teeth? Did Helen Thomas go commando? No. No. And please God NO!!!

Come to find out, thanks to Fox News' wrap up of the conference, the object of the President's affection was none other than his old friend the Teleprompter! The staff had replaced the front of the room glass panels with an LCD, hopefully hi-def and cable ready, television.



OK, all is now right with the world. Honestly, I prefer the impression of watching a tennis match action of his looking left, right, left, right while reading to the singly focused stare at the center of the room. I do notice he has a tendency to read from the right side glass more often. I guess when you are as far left as The ONE, everything seems to be to the right.

I will apologize for not having any deep analysis or insightful review of tonight's conference. I just didn't have time to review it. Then again, anyone coming here for insight and deep thought is in the wrong place.

Instead, I direct you to one of my new favorite places on the net. The home of none other than Obama's Teleprompter. If you don't laugh over there, you never will.

Happy stick safety maker

The news on Wall Street today is good. Really good. The toxic asset cleanup plan announced by Timothy "where's my Turbo Tax manual" Geithner, a folly recycled from the Bush administration, had a Viagra like effect on the market sending it rising for its biggest increase of the year. The Masters of the Universe on the trading floor are sure to be celebrating in hedonistic martini fueled splendor tonight for tomorrow the Dow could return to it's flaccid state of recent weeks. With this in mind, there's an article that caught my attention earlier today that I'd like to run up the old flagpole.

In a move that is anything but protectionist, the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) has decided to begin purchasing condoms from a Chinese company instead of from their long time supplier in Alabama. Not surprisingly, the move has raised the ire of workers at Alatech, the sole supplier of millions of gloves of love to the government agency. Loss of this work could mean the loss of several hundred jobs. So much for stimulus

The article about this in the Kansas City Star opens the door for an orgy of "if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family" commentary on why United States government agencies should buy American instead of sending taxpayer money to a population controlling, forced abortion Communist country. But there is an even seedier side to this expose that is as thinly veiled as a latex covered ...well you get the point.

I'm not going to attempt to discuss the practicality or morality of free condom distribution as a way to combat the spread of Aids in lesser developed countries around the world. Men who possess much higher intellect, and some who don't, have been discussing this for years. My concern runs to the all too common of Liberal virtues: "it is the effort that matters most."

For years, failed policies have been defended because, after all, good intentions make up for a lack of results. For those who define progress as "helping more people" by increasing the numbers on social welfare rolls or the numbers receiving government aid instead of working to reduce the number who need said help, the distribution of more condoms is the measure of AIDs fighting effectiveness.

USAID does do constructive work with regard to the fighting of this pandemic and I am not trying to condemn them. But, like judging that woman across the pub as a potential mate through six-pack prescription beer goggles, I fear the bean counters at the agency are being a bit short sighted in this move. Cutting costs will enable more condoms to be handed out in villages throughout Africa to natives who, after watching a twenty-something Peace Corp worker put one on a gourd, will wonder why this gum tastes so funny.

China, which has provided the world with lead painted children's toys, toxic drywall, bootleg movies, tainted baby milk and food that has us returning to the pantry thirty minutes after dinner, is now having yet another of it's government run companies entrusted with the lives of millions of the world's randy citizens. As the world's richest (for now) super power, the United States has also been the most philanthropic of nations as well. For us to scrimp in this area begs the question, "What is the cost of a human life?"

Again, I am NOT commenting on the practice of condom distribution, that is a rant for another day. But if this practice is to occur, it should be done not just with the best of intentions but with the best of care. My concern does not arise because an Alabama company is being tossed aside like an aging spouse in favor of a younger model and I'm not just venting like a scorned Cheerleader on her Facebook wall after being dumped by the quarterback. No, this is not our first date with Chinese condom manufacturers who make a faulty product. Like Rihanna going back to that human male member and woman beating Chris Brown, we should know better.

S2

Wait an hour before swimming

Snopes, the authority on all things rumored, did one of their exposes on fourteen "Old Wives Tales" and the best these superstitions could do in the face of complete refutation was one "undetermined" and several "unclassifiable veracity".

So why it that year after year old wives keep spewing these pearls of wisdom to their progeny in hopes of changing their behavior? Most of them know what they are saying isn't really true but, my guess is, they think it sounds just good enough they will get away with saying it; kind of like the indignation being put on by members of Congress over the AIG bonuses or guy at the bar telling the hottie he just met, "I've never felt like this before and I can't believe we've only known each other two hours. Do you need a ride home?"

Parents and others in authority seem to think a little white lie is acceptable to tell a mush brained adolescent if the end result is beneficial to them. The ONE, a President who embodies the ultimate in nanny state governance exemplifies this practice better than your average suburban hockey mom.

Through regulation, taxation and plain old badgering, our government has been attempting to change our behavior for far too long and the practice is picking up speed faster than an affronted special interest group runs to the media after a Biden or Obama off teleprompter appearance.

The latest example of the government forcing us to eat our plate of broccoli when we really want pizza is the continuing move to push us in to little electric death traps that probably will need to be pushed the final mile home every other night. We've been hearing for years that a functional and efficient electric car is coming soon. Well, I am going to start working out and dieting one of these days, too.

The problem with huge government investment in projects and technology like this is, we don't want it. Hybrids, the darling of the Green Movement just a few months ago are now sitting alongside their gas guzzling cousins on the lots of American auto dealerships while customers avoid their salesmen in droves.

The day will come, and I do hope it is soon, that the populace of this great country moves to alternatives to oil and other energy that we are currently required to purchase from guys with sheets for suits and shit for brains who want us dead and look at electric or other powered vehicles. This will happen when those vehicles become valuable to us through efficiency, comfort and all those intangibles that will allow a man to overcompensate with one instead of looking emasculated behind the wheel. The free market will determine when that day comes.

Until that day, we will be like pre-teens pushing our vegetables around the economic plate and government money thrown at these technologies will end up wasted like so many uneaten meals that our mother's told us would feed the starving kids in Africa.

We should do with the money what we all told our moms when they used that trite bit of psychology, "sent it to them".

S2

Those were the days

A picture recently emerged which apparently shows Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, back in the days when he was listening to American diplomats do the nasty with USSR hookers and making telephone calls on his right shoe a la Maxwell Smart, posing as a tourist and talking to then President Ronald Reagan.



I don't think this comes as any surprise to those of us who lived during the Cold War. We knew that spies were everywhere.

Not to be outdone by some former Commie turned Capitalist turned Commie again leader, Barack Obama, the socialist turned capitalist campaigner turned socialist, released this photo of him infiltrating the "hood" during a Summer away from the Law Review and Community Organizing. Stars Paul Micheal Glaser and David Soul both stated they couldn't tell the difference between the original Huggy Bear, Antonio Fargas, and his politically savvy impersonator. Although Glaser did quip, "there were days he didn't seem, you know, as Urban".

Bowling, Gardens, NCAA Brackets and Parties....what's missing?

I haven't seen the overnight ratings but I am sure The ONE's appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno topped the charts. The campaigner in Chief went sans teleprompter and gaffed his way through the interview with charm, poise and complete obliviousness to the real problems facing everyday Americans.

The blogs, papers, television news and cups strung together between sixth graders houses are all buzz, or vibrating in the case of the string, with stories about how the First African American President of the United States insulted mentally and physically handicapped world wide by saying his bowling was comparable to that of a Special Olympian. Of course, as soon as he was able to get aboard Air Force One and in front of his teleprompter, Obama started making calls to apologize. I am predicting a bowl off between The ONE and this one by month's end. Frankly, I hope this story dies quickly and isn't dragged out and played out like some cancer stricken reality TV show star's demise in the British tabloids where narcissism and not melanoma is the worse illness on display.

If "blowlergate" is dominating above the fold, the below the fold real estate is being devoted to monitoring Obama's NCAA pics and Michelle's little 1,100 square foot Organic White House garden to grow taters, melons and tomatoes for the little ones.

Sure there are the requisite stories of how evil the workers of AIG are, how outraged Congress is and how the final four on American Idol have already been selected but the din of these stories is leaving little room for stories that should be front and center of page 1.

Every evening I read the electronic issues of approximately 15 United States newspapers and around a dozen international ones. That's not boastful because, truthfully I skim the headlines on most of them. I say only to reinforce the statement that I have not seen the following story in a single domestic paper. I may have missed it but, if I did, it had to have been buried below Joe Biden's bravado or Barney Frank's Peach Cobbler recipe. A Google News search at the time of this writing reveals 5 US sources for this story.

Last Friday two American reporters went missing in North Korea after having been abducted by the military three days before.

That is right: North Korea has arrested two American reporters and those two are now MISSING! The country that re-elected Kim Jong Il with 100% of the vote and that is about to defy the world and launch a communications satellite disguised as an intercontinental ballistic missile is keeping mum on the status and location of the two members of the fourth estate being held in some North Korean estate.

The United States is focused inward, as it usually is, as it deals with a struggling economy. While we self-examine, there is much going on in the world that should catch our eye and demands attention. With Janet Napolitano eliminating the use of the word Terrorism from Homeland Security vernacular, we at least still have Man Caused Disaster.

I'd go in to more detail about the dangers amassing at our borders and the risks we run by ignoring them but Survivor is about to start.

S2

I think I see a pig overhead

If you asked former President's if they would go on a television talk show to state their opinions most would have said, "When Pigs Fly". Unfortunately, our mold breaking current Campaigner in Chief thinks going on Jay Leno's show and quipping about popular culture gives him credibility.

Yeah I know. I wonder where they hid the teleprompters?

Time to buy stock in AIG

No, not the company, the letters. Surely over the past two days these three letters have been worn nearly through on the keyboards of reporters, bloggers, newspaper typesetters and Presidential Teleprompter Input Specialists. OK, they are probably Presidential Teleprompter Input Czars as that seems to be the title du jour in the Obama administration.

It is amazing the amount of anger, disdain and vitriol being put forth by average citizen and elected official alike toward AIG. In the case of the former it seems like class warfare and in the latter it is political expediency and advantage.

With so much being written about this topic, I am wondering why I am bothering to add my few pennies to the discussion. I guess it is to serve as a bit of a reality check. Let's look quickly at the two aforementioned angry mobs busily pitching their torches and grabbing their permanently pitched forks in preparation of a march on Castle AIG to exact 160 million pounds of flesh from bonus recipients and slay this monstrous practice of fulfilling a contract.

Yes, that is right. AIG, in paying these bonuses, was fulfilling a contract they had with their employees. We can pass judgement as to the morality of paying bonus money to individuals who performed their duties so poorly they caused the near collapse of their company and on those same individuals for taking the payments. It is right for us to ask for the money to be returned based on this alone; not for moral reasons but to assuage the fraud perpetrated in these bonus transactions. I would hold this same opinion if the bonus was $1000 dollars as I do with seven figure payouts but I don't think we would see groups rallying to protest a smaller payment. No, the comments being made in by regular Joes in the newspapers all refer to the exorbitant amounts being paid. Let's just remember, these individuals had a contract with their employer stating the terms and amounts of these bonuses and these contracts were in effect before the company received bailout money.

When Henry "where's the camera" Paulson negotiated the initial terms of the bailout, Timothy "who needs a Turbo Tax instruction manual" Geithner was in the room. The future Treasury Secretary and tax evader, who was too smart and important to fail, should have known and probably has known for months these payments were about to happen. News reports contradict claims by the First African American President of the United States administration's claims that they just learned of these payments. The feigned indignation of The ONE will be on full display tomorrow night when he debases the office of the Presidency of the greatest country on Earth, and possibly himself, to go on a television talk show like some narcissistic celebrity touting their most recent cinematic effort or covering for a social faux pas. Granted Obama has several of these social errors to explain away but I am sure the permanent campaigner will do what he is best at tomorrow: campaign. Or he could, once again, tell how his stimulus package will benefit Caterpillar workers. I wonder where they will hide the teleprompters.

The most wretched among the indignant are those in Congress who, after getting us in this whole economic mess in the first place, now feel they have the right to take back by force the bonus money should the incompetents who received it not choose to do the right thing while ignoring equally wrong bonus payments to Fannie Mae executives. Bonuses they made possible. This angers me more than the payments. If Chuckles Shumer stood in front of me and spewed his threat of taking back this money through Government fiat I would have pimp slapped him harder than Chris Brown hits a woman on their third date.

We can not allow Congress to set the precedent of selectively going after anyone who they feel is not playing nice. Opening this Pandora's box of retroactive legislation is yet another step on the road to Socialism and social engineering; a road that seems to be flowing like the out of town side of the expressway during morning rush hour.

Where is the anger? Where is the contempt? Where is the moral outrage over the recent acts by our government in their continued power grab and blatant disregard for the intentions of our founding fathers.

This guy gets it:



S2

I will draw the line at Michelle's Melons

Those silly Germans. In a move that would have Jessie and Al screaming racism louder than a crowd of wanna be models awaiting an interview with Tyra or self-professed fat ass Meghan McCain yelling about Laura Ingraham, a frozen food company in the unified Reich has created this:

Sure to be the darling product filling the hard drives of Photoshop shut ins everywhere, this one is too much to resist.

So I didn't:

Divorced for unrecognizable differences

"Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet."
Rudyard Kipling (Barrack-room ballads, 1892)

When the expatriated Brit Rudyard Kipling inked this phrase about the inability of his native countrymen to effectively communicate with those he was living with in the sub-continent, he most likely used the local writing fluid of India. Rudy surely attributed this gulf of understanding to cultural differences but applying the same sentiments to today's political views makes it no less observant but clearly less eloquent: Liberal is liberal, and Conservative is Conservative, and John McCain was still defeated.

As the writer of an opinionated blog I've been called partisan, as well as homophobic, neanderthal, bigoted, sexist and, recently, English, but to be honest, none of these apply. Since partisan most usually refers to one fervently devoted to or biased in support of a party or group I don't accept that label. In recent years I've been as disgusted as much by Republicans as I am by Democrats for, despite their proclaimed divergent viewpoints, there is little difference in them when the rubber stamp goes down the spending road.

Evidence of this sameness exists everywhere. Senate Republicans fought hard against the recent spending of nearly half a trillion pork laden dollars after sowing (sic) it full of enough bacon of their own to fill the sties of every lobbyist President Obama supposedly refuses to hire. When it comes to accepting money in some muddied up scheme, Democrat John Murtha and Republican Orrin Hatch seem to be two pigs in a poke. And, I am letting no cat out of the bag (Yes, that is a pig reference. Look it up.) to say the bank bailout plan during the Bush Administration was as much of a swine-dle at the one currently happening under The ONE's watchful eye.

It is only during the heated debate of a campaign that a sliver of discernible difference shows through with enough light to illuminate a separation between the country's two most powerful, and therefore the only one's electable, political parties. However, once the ballot boxes have been suitably stuffed and mostly counted, the elected ones tend to tweez this sliver and the rift of electioneering differences heals quickly. Two examples arose just this past weekend.

During the election, candidate John McCain caught flack for pronouncing, "The fundamentals of our economy are strong." Candidate, and soon to be the First African American President of the United States Barack Obama went on the offensive to say just how offensive he found that statement.

Just yesterday on Meet the Press, Presidential Economic Advisor Christina Romer volunteered this regarding the state of our economy, "The fundamentals are sound in the sense that the American workers are sound, we have a good capital stock, we have good technology." Deja vu or similar view? You decide. Before you do though, consider this further statement that Ms. Romer attributed to The ONE: "There are no such things as Democratic or Republican ideas, there are only ideas."

My vote for McCain was, like many on the right, a vote more in favor of Sarah Palin and it seems more and more like the left's vote for Obama was one for McCain. During the campaign the former full time organizer and part time senator from Illinois berated the former POW over his proposal to tax the health benefits employees receive. Several of the Sunday "talking head" shows yesterday mentioned the trial balloon being floated by the ever campaigning President's White House to do the exact same thing. Of course, the President won't refute or deny this. This is kind of like voting "present" isn't it?

New York Democrats, rather than cutting spending propose to tax fatty foods. Not to be outdone, Utah Republicans propose to tax the highly addictive Caffeine. Finally, there's not an F'ing bit of difference talking to Joe Biden or Dick Cheney when you are just in range of a still on microphone.

Sometimes one of the twin parties births a fraternal rather than identical candidate and a politician of a different stripe takes office. Governors Sanford and Jindel (when he isn't on teleprompter) are two examples. They are candidates who refuse to think, act and dress in the time tested sameness of a Washington bureaucrat. In a few months (if not already) candidates will be appearing in your neighborhood seeking contributions for their run for office. It is up to you to determine if there is a dollar's worth of difference between them and if that difference is worth your support.

Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that once elected they won't, Chameleon like, change their colors to blend in with the other lizards who cold bloodily continue to lay the eggs of more and bigger Government in indistinguishable nests.

If you can find the man or woman who will hold true to their cause, be it on either side of the political spectrum, when all about them are losing theirs, you surely are a better man than I Gunga Din.

What's in a name.

There is a bar magician in Aspen, Colorado by the name of Doc Eason. Doc usually ends his evening's performance by having between 20 and 30 people in the audience each pick a card and he proceeds, as is the goal of any good magic trick, to find each one in an entertaining way. While this is amazing in itself, he also calls each person by name as he produces their card. This is a group of people he met just this night and there are no name tags, seating charts or presidential teleprompters helping him keep track.

If a man's word is his bond then his name is collateral against payment of that surety and his reputation is the bank account on which those funds are drawn. Remembering and using someone's name in conversation not only holds their interest but could be seen as adding interest into your own promisory account.

It was said George W Bush created nicknames for nearly everyone he had contact with. These nicknames helped him remember people and build rapport. For all the talk of how the world hated us, as in the U.S., during what these naysayers called his "unelected reign of error", GW43 was able to develop excellent working relationships, and a few personal ones, with many leaders around the world.

Evidence that "change" truly has come to Washington couldn't be more plain. In addition to the sweeping economic and social policy changes The ONE is pushing through the Democratic Congress, Barack "never miss a party or excuse to take a day off" Obama is changing the way the White House treats foreign dignitaries.

In just over 50 days, the First African American President of the United States has been dissed by the Prime Minister of Russia, been called out by the complete nut currently running Iran and shown himself to be a poor host and lousy gift giver with Gordon Brown of England.

The latest example that Obama plays host about as well as Pamela Anderson models clothes happened just last week when Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva came to make nice. Considering that Obama would be the one asking for a favor in this meeting, it was interesting that the administration felt it necessary to reschedule an international meeting because of a social holiday. Somehow I think the president of a country that holds one of the most debauchery laced celebrations in the world would be fine tossing back a few green beers over talk of ethanol imports. The pushing up of this meeting gives the impression the South American country's president is second in importance to a drunken Irish Saint. Should I even mention the separation of Church and State argument that surely would be shouted if this was done by a Republican President?

Adding insult to injury, the White House treated President da Silva no better than a drunken one night stand by getting his name wrong! The same spell check challenged staffer that made Hillary 's "reset" button must have been assigned the duty of name tags and invitations. I just hope Obama's teleprompter writer isn't the same person or else he'd have been calling his guest the wrong name all day. If no teleprompter was used, I am guessing he was called President Um all day.

Finally, looking bored and distracted while Brazilian reporters asked questions, Obama had to begin his response with, "Was that directed to me?" Well smart man, it was either to you or what's his name sitting over there.

Supporters of The ONE will surely say commenting on this is making a fuss out of a nothing issue. However I see it more as commenting on doing nothing when there should be a fuss. These repeated examples of arrogance in incompetency from a group stated as "the best brightest and smartest" ever to occupy the Presidency can't continue. By not caring to pay attention to detail, the Obama administration is showing indifference toward its international visitors and the opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference.

More is coming to light how Obama is a 9-5 President who likes to play basketball, go to basketball games, throw parties and fly around in big jet and 'copters. He will be blowing off the annual Gridiron Club next Saturday as he will be in Chicago on Spring Break. I hope he checked his BlackBerry before making his plans. I can picture a contingent from Tinylittlekastan standing at the White House front door ringing and ringing the bell with no one home.

I remember several interviews with George Bush where, to illustrate his ignorance, the reporter would ask a gotcha question about the name of the most recently come to power ruler from some unpronouncable "stan" country. Perhaps reporters should begin doing that before they show up to the White House. At least the staff could use the newspaper article to check their spelling.

Who is this Dolt?

[Updated: 3-16-09 Link at end]

Jeremiah Tucker is an idiot.

I have never met the man and don't want to.

In Ayn Rand's famous, and apropos for today, novel Atlas Shrugged the recurring question exemplifying despair, futility and surrender is "Who is John Galt?" I was curious to see a headline saying "Atlas Shrugged Updated for the Current Financial Crisis" and had to follow the link. In this spoof, the question should be "Who is this dolt?"

What I found there was a story, supposedly thought to be creative, which took major points of brilliance made by Ms. Rand and got them so completely wrong in the assessment of their circumstances and true meaning that the author is either ignorant of historical economics and the themes of the original book or an idiot. My vote is the latter.

I am currently halfway through another reading of this inspiring tome and to see someone so miss the mark in mocking the book honestly pisses me off. The takers of Atlas Shrugged are alive and well and posting on the Internet.

If you have read Atlas Shrugged, take a look at this moron's attempt at belittling those of us who relate to and sympathize with the protagonists in this most important piece of literature. If you have never read it, get to your local library or bookstore, pick up a copy and prepare to see how a book written generations ago can be so true in today's world that Ms. Rand surely was prescient.

Then check out someone who explains Ms. Rand's relevance much more eloquently than me.

And then send the dimwit Tucker an email.

Fly me to the loon.

This post has me humming "Leaving on a Jet Plane". In reality, I'd rather she was just leaving. The woman who sits two heart beats away from the Presidency of the United States seems to have developed an air of superiority akin to those of Rock Stars and their "no green M&M" riders in the Green Room contracts regarding her taste in and demands for travel. Perhaps she is feeling cocky because, after all, the economic crisis isn't that bad after all.

Nancy Pelosi, the Speaker of the House, is stockpiling a Jumbo Jet of carbon to someday offset in her cross country and cross-Atlantic jaunts in large military aircraft. Judicial Watch has FOIAed emails detailing the air headed one's requests (read: demands) for aircraft and services from the DoD for her air travel between Washington, DC and her home district in California.

Our first hint that Pelosi's demands would soon make J-Lo's oddities on her concert riders seem as inane as the Jonas Brothers was way back in 2007 when she insisted the plane at her disposal be slightly larger than the 12-seater provided the previous speaker, Dennis Hastert, after 9-11 to aid in security. Nancy would require a 42-seat Air Force carrier to ferry her, her staff and probably lots of shoes from work in Washington to the City by the Bay.

ABC News is giving the high flying Speaker a pass but, if you read through the list of email exchanges, you'll see that, at least in terms of expected privileges, power corrupts.

I don't really have a problem with the person third in line to head our country having use of a military or private aircraft. After all, seeing someone of this prominence screaming and yelling because their plane left on time would be too tasty a fodder to pass up. I have many other problems with the person third in line to head our country; her being an ultra left liberal loon being foremost among them and I do think using large jets so that every relative, staffer and campaign contributor can ride along is excessive. Use of a private charter is less than military aircraft and, with the huge deficits in our country, maybe those in Congress could chip in a few frequent liar (sic) miles and get Nancy a ticket.

I say have some fun and read through Judicial Watch's collection of emails and then read commentary here, here and here.

Sorry

It is true I normally stay at Holiday Inn Express hotels. Tonight I am at a Courtyard by Marriott and the Internet connection so SO SLOW I can't even get my email. Sorry. No post tonight.

I'll drink to that

It is time to celebrate. No, not that the Dow was up around 380 points today. Although that is a good thing, be prepared for a sell off tomorrow now that the Senate passed the $410 Billion spending package and Nancy "deer in the headlights" Pelosi is hinting at a second massive spendulus package. How's that for throwing a wet blanket on good news?

"What good news?", you ask. Utah has given up its ridiculous Private Club law covering what you in the rest of the modern world refer to as Bars. Barring an Oktoberfest surprise, the Governor will sign the bill in to law very soon. That's right, no longer will we citizens living behind the Zion Curtain be made to feel like scofflaws to the Volstead Act as we stagger up to our favorite speakeasy in search of some hooch by being forced to sign up for a membership in order to get a drink. The term "membership" in the Beehive State has a connotation that doesn't usually jive with alcohol consumption and tends to last more than the typical two-weeks one is granted access to a club.

The move to normalize the arcane and downright stupid liquor laws that were drafted by people who were never fortunate enough to wake up with a hangover as a reminder of the previous night's enjoyment is driven mainly by tourism. As one who has many times had to explain to a visiting skier how to get an apres-ski drink, I can't wait to just say "go over there" without any further instructions, qualifications, diagrams, gesticulations or secret decoder rings needed.

There remain a few oddities in the liquor laws. These, most likely, remain as a consideration for the roughly 30% of the state's population that throw a temperance tantrum any time a relaxation of consumption encumbrances is discussed. There is also a new requirement for gin joints to use an electronic scanner to verify the ID of anyone entering a den of iniquity who appears to be under 35 years old. No word has been given on what a youthful Benjamin Button will be required to do. I've a few concerns regarding this ID scan but officials have stated there will be no central database kept of drunks, lushes, booze hounds or the occasional martini sipper for use at the time of the Rapture to determine what bus everyone gets on.

True conservatives and the more libertine of the state have long considered the Republicans in our state government as nothing more than Democrats who have jobs and don't drink. This move, passed by a unanimous vote in the Senate, is one toward less government intrusion into the seedy places it doesn't belong at a time when our national elected officials are guzzling up every freedom they can and spending like, excuse the easy analogy, drunken sailors.

To Governor Huntsman who pushed this initiative and the sober minds who followed, I say "Three Cheers" and raise an equal number of glasses in toast to them.

S2

This statement is more than the sum of its parse

Way back in the 1980's the group Missing Persons had a quasi hit song called "Words". One of the lines in the refrain was "What are words for, if no one listens anyway." Looking back on the video today I am somewhat embarrassed to admit this was (actually still is) one of my favorite songs. It has also been playing in my mind quite a lot since the coronation of Barack Obama.

So much is made of the oratory skills of The ONE that I've made it a point to listen carefully to him every time he speaks. Sure, the majority of the time he is simply reading from his teleprompter but, on occasion, actual audio leaks of him speaking as extemporaneously as any President ever speaks. It is during these times the real Barack "above my pay grade to decide when Life begins" Obama is revealed.

The other day a New York Times reporter, in an interview on Air Force one, asked the First African American President of the United States if he was a socialist. Obama sort of laughed off the question but it must have left an impression. So much so that the President made it a point to call the reporter to clarify a few things.

Here is a portion of the audio from that Oval Office call and my painstakingly crafted transcription of it:

"...uuhh just one thing that uh I was thinking about as I was uh as I was getting on the uh copter cause uh ya know, it was hard for me to to believe you were entirely serious about that socialist question."

"Uh ah I I did think it might be useful to point out that uh it wasn’t under me that we started uh buying a whole bunch of shares of banks. It wasn’t on my watch. And it wasn’t on my watch that we passed uh a massive new entitlement uh-– the prescription drug plan -- without a source of funding. Ah and so I think that uh it’s important just to note ah when you start uh hearing folks uh throw these words around that um uh we’ve actually been operating uh in a way that uh is entirely consistent with free-market principles uh and that uh uh some of the same folks who are uh throwing the word 'socialist' around can’t say the same."

The New York Times asked, "So whose watch are we talking about here sir?" but Obama wouldn't name names.

"Well ha ha ha, I I just think it’s clear by the time we had uh by the time we got here, uh err there already had been uh an enormous infusion of taxpayer money into the financial system. And eehhayyyeehh the the thing I constantly try to emphasize to people is that if that coming in, the market was doing fine, nobody would be happier than me uh to stay out of it. I eh you know uh I I have more than enough to do uh without having to worry the financial system. uh and the fact that uh we’ve had to take these extraordinary measures uh and intervene uh is uh not an indication of my ideological preference, uh but an indication of the degree to which uh ehhh lax regulation uh and extravagant risk taking uh has precipitated a crisis."

He concluded the brief call by saying, "I think that covers it."

-----End Transcription and resume scintillating commentary-----

That call may have covered it but it didn't answer it! Like learning what the meaning of "Is" is, often more is revealed in what isn't said than in what words are used. Let's look, just like the President said he would do at the budget in search of earmarks, line by line at uh the uh eloquence of The ONE and see if we can ascertain the meaning behind the uhs and the points he is trying to make.

Obama: "...uuhh just one thing that uh I was thinking about as I was uh as I was getting on the uh copter cause uh ya know, it was hard for me to to believe you were entirely serious about that socialist question."

Bald One: Right off the bat, the President needs to demonstrate his manliness while simultaneously establishing his authority by citing he rides in a "copter" to and from the corner grocery and not in a Prius like most reporters for the New York Times. He also finds it surprising, not that he was thought of as being a socialist but, that someone from his sycophantic media actually asked him the question out loud and on the record.

Obama: "Uh ah I I did think it might be useful to point out that uh it wasn’t under me that we started uh buying a whole bunch of shares of banks. It wasn’t on my watch."

Bald One: Citing this as evidence that he isn't a socialist is akin to telling the nice Officer, after blowing a 0.08 on the breathalyzer, that you are aren't drunk because your buddy who's passed out in the back seat started drinking first. The ONE didn't start the bank bailouts but he and his tax evading Treasury Secretary sure aren't changing the strategy much.

Obama: "And it wasn’t on my watch that we passed uh a massive new entitlement uh-– the prescription drug plan -- without a source of funding."

Bald One: No, it was on his watch that a Trillion dollar stimulus package was passed, uh, without a source of funding. And now a nearly half trillion dollar spending package with close to 9,000 earmarks in it is about to pass and will be signed by him.

Obama: "Ah and so I think that uh it’s important just to note ah when you start uh hearing folks uh throw these words around that um uh we’ve actually been operating uh in a way that uh is entirely consistent with free-market principles uh and that uh uh some of the same folks who are uh throwing the word 'socialist' around can’t say the same."

Bald One: If by free market principles he means fascist control of banks and laying the groundwork for a socialist take over of our health care system and a Marxist redistribution of wealth through confiscatory taxation I don't disagree with anything he said there. Even former socialist country leaders think he is on the wrong path. So does the leader of my next homeland.

Obama: "Well ha ha ha, I I just think it’s clear by the time we had uh by the time we got here, uh err there already had been uh an enormous infusion of taxpayer money into the financial system. And eehhayyyeehh the the thing I constantly try to emphasize to people is that if that coming in, the market was doing fine, nobody would be happier than me uh to stay out of it."

Bald Man: The best "infusion" of "taxpayer" money in to any financial system would be to allow the taxpayer to keep a bit more of his or her hard earned money to infuse when and where he or she sees fit and let real free market principles work. But basically the main point to take away from this sentence is that the President is wrong. I, and millions like me, would be far happier if he stayed out of it.

Obama: I eh you know uh I I have more than enough to do uh without having to worry the financial system."

Bald One: He has plenty to do with a White House party night every Wednesday and attending every festivity that is a Copter flight away from the nearest runway large enough to land Air Force One. Is it any wonder he was "too tired" to properly receive the British Prime Minister last week?

Obama: uh and the fact that uh we’ve had to take these extraordinary measures uh and intervene uh is uh not an indication of my ideological preference, uh but an indication of the degree to which uh ehhh lax regulation uh and extravagant risk taking uh has precipitated a crisis."

Bald One: Actually the fact that he has taken these particular measures and ignored free market/capitalist solutions to these "extraordinary" measures is truly an indication of his ideological preference. Combine these actions with his rabid support of Card Check for Unions, disregard for the lives of the innocent in his support of the Freedom of Choice Act and reversal of Bush's Stem Cell Research ban and his effort of having government encroach in to virtually every aspect of a United States (and soon the World's) citizen's life and he reinforces his "ideological preference. I would mention his affiliation with Reverend "God Damn Amerikka" Wright and William "let me stand on this flag and blow up this building over here" Ayers but it seems these are being scrubbed from the public record.

Obama: "I think that covers it."

Bald One: This doesn't begin to cover it. It was true in the 1980's when Ronald Reagan said "Government is not the solution, it is the problem" (slightly paraphrased) and it is true today; Words mean things.

If Nancy Pelosi and her ilk in Congress have their way, soon the words of many free thinking Americans will be stifled under the latest incarnation of the Fairness Doctrine. We might lose our right to question out loud whether the President is a socialist. He is already rallying his Hitler Youth like base via the internet as the campaign has begun. Those on the left continue to call Republicans Nazi's without consequence and our public officials are becoming more and more arrogant.

The author of the Audacity of Hope who exhibits the arrogance of victory has nothing on these two:












I'd like to have a word or two with them sometime.

S2

If only it were this easy

I enjoyed the Staples "Easy Button" commercials. If only for the illusion of a better life that could exist with the push of a button.

Hillary may have gaffed with this in Russia:











I think the United States gaffed last November in the buttons it collectively pushed in the voting booths. Here's my take on a good use for the "Recovery" logo The ONE thinks needs to be put everywhere:



S2

The gifts that keeps on giving from those who continually don't get it

While they may seem an impersonal gift akin to giving someone a box set of DVDs, magazine subscriptions are actually nice to receive. Every month you get a little reminder of someones thoughtfulness in the mail and about twice a week you get a phone call from some reseller trying to get you to extend the subscription another year or two. Where else can you pack so much attention into $1.67 a month?

You'd think journalists, news commentators and late night comics would be celebrating like slum dwellers in India watching the Academy Awards over the cornucopia of material being provided to them by the Obama administration. But no, instead of embracing this ready made humor with Shiva's eight open arms, it seems all they can do is find more ways to bitch about Rush Limbaugh and liken him to one of Ganesh's heads on some perverse GOP idol. If Bush or Reagan underlings committed half of the faux pas as The ONE's, the media would be busting a collective gut and Twitter would be all a twitter with one liners. With signs of hope in the doom and gloom financial crisis harder to find than an open seat on the New Delhi to Mumbai express bus, we all need to take our smiles where we can find them.

Hillary Clinton must have taken the same gift giving course as the First Couple. Before beginning talks with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, the former First Lady and smartest woman in the World presented him with a gift meant to symbolize the "new beginning" of talks between our two countries. The gift was a small box with a red button on it and was supposed to have written on it, in Russin, "reset". Instead, our Cyrillicly challenged State Department labeled the button "overcharge". I don't know if this was a spelling error or if Hillary just grabbed the button meant for Nancy Pelosi's desk by mistake.


Hillary's Hilarity tour continued in Belgium where, addressing a group at the European Parliament, Bill's Better Half commented:

"I have never understood multiparty democracy.

"It is hard enough with two parties to come to any resolution, and I say this very respectfully, because I feel the same way about our own democracy, which has been around a lot longer than European democracy."

I hate to break it to our Secretary of State but it took my secretary all of 1 minute to find that most European democracies date back to the times of the Romans and our own representative republic is based off documents written by men pushing the plagarism envelope by citing numerous lines from the Magna Carta (written in 1215). Again I offer Hillary the benefit of the doubt as I am sure she is much more familiar with the politics, but not the language, of the former Soviet Union or Red China.

Ring three of Hillary's circus also took place in Brussels and is more funny weird than funny ha ha. Talking about the global economic turmoil, Clinton somehow related stock markets and businesses closing to "going green". She said, "Never waste a good crisis ... Don't waste it when it can have a very positive impact on climate change and energy security,". This joke of an idea has been a running gag in The ONE's reign of error and the clowns in Congress will vote on Cap and Trade in spring. Even supporters of the First African American President of the United States are questioning the widsom of this move.

Speaking of jokes and clowns, the former Vice President of the United States and temporarily miscounted President Al Gore was spewing more global warming gases out of his well stuffed pie hole at a Wall Street Journal Eco:nomics Conference when he was challenged by Man Made Global Warming skeptic and real scientist Bjorn Lomborg to debate the science of Gore's favorite topic and sacred cash cow. The Nobel Prize winner ducked the challenge faster than a turbaned snake charmer avoids a poisenous strike and continued his blather. Gore's been slinking away from debates for years now so he is getting good at it.

Finally, First Lady, fashion diva and Oprah cover girl Michelle Obama did the obligatory lunch lady duty at a local DC homeless shelter. The attempt at a photo op to show how the White House sits like a Taj Mahal amid poverty stricken slums was overexposed when the "poor" used their cell phones to create a photo op of their own with the First African American First Lady of the United States. The irony of this makes me want to shout, "Can you hear me now? We don't know what real poverty is."

In these times when everyone is worried about their job security, retirement funds, Iranian nuclear proliferation and Jessica Simpson's weight we sometimes have to tell ourselves it is OK to laugh. I promise to do my best to help with that smile on your face through the posts here. If that doesn't work, there is always this:



Indian music video - a bette version of Thriller - Watch more free videos

S2

It is the thoughtlessnes that counts

What separates great from good is an attention to detail. The extra effort you put in to doing even the most mundane task shows character, desire and caring.

It was rumored that the magician Blackstone, Sr. would have cakes baked with coins in them and distributed around the theaters where he was performing so he could, while walking around, do an "impromptu" coin trick where a borrowed coin would vanish and reappear inside of a "cake that just happened to be there" at a local vendor. Everyone was amazed and the resultant word of mouth advertising virtually guaranteed a packed performance the next evening.

A few weeks ago I posted on how the Obama administration ticked off the Brits by returning a bust of Churchill that was loaned to GW Bush. I guess The ONE is a little behind on his reading of this blog as he didn't learn anything from that incisive and poignant review of his actions.

Just this week, the Prime Minister of the England, Gordon Brown and his wife, arrived in Washington for a meeting with the first African American President of the United States and his fashionable First African American First Lady wife.

I don't know if I've witnessed a Brit treated with such carelessness since Elizabeth Hurley was tossed aside for a two bit hooker by Hugh Grant. Then again, that was Brit on Brit disrespect. First, a press conference was cancelled due to snow. I guess Obama's protestations of a wimpy DC crowd regarding a little snow a few weeks ago was, like most of his statements, more "show than go".

Mr. Brown bestowed upon our fear inspiring leader gifts such as an ornamental desk pen holder made from the oak timbers of Victorian anti-slaver HMS Gannet, once named HMS President. The forethought of this gift became apparent when the holder was placed on the Oval Office's Resolute desk which just happened to have been carved from the salvaged timbers of Gannet's sister ship, HMS Resolute. Carrying the "theme" forward, the President was also bestowed the framed commission for HMS Resolute, a vessel that came to symbolise Anglo-US peace when it was saved from ice packs by Americans and given to Queen Victoria. Finally, Mr Brown gave Obama a first edition set of the seven-volume classic biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert.

In return, Barack tossed to Gordon a collection of 25 DVD movies he got from Roland Burris as a White Elephant gift at Governor Blago's house last year. I don't even think he wrapped them.

Mrs Brown didn't fair much better with America's top model of a First Lady. Sarah Brown gave Sasha and Malia Obama an outfit each from Topshop, which has just opened its first American store in New York. She also picked six children's books by British authors which are shortly to be published in America. What did Michelle offer in return? She handed over a toy replica of Marine One. British columnist Sarah Vine sums it up so well writing in the Times:

'These were gifts chosen in the true spirit of present-giving: to please the recipient, not the giver.'

Giving the Browns' two young boys a helicopter was 'fair enough'.

But she added:

'Marine One? It’s not as though anyone needs reminding that Barack Obama is President or that he has his own helicopter.

'Short of giving the boys Action Man models of her own husband smiting the evil forces of neoconservatism, Mrs Obama’s gesture could not have been more solipsistic or more inherently dismissive of Mrs Brown.

'Not only did she demonstrate that she spent approximately three seconds contemplating the needs of the Brown boys (having an aide pop to the White House gift shop for a piece of merchandising does not imply a great deal of thought), she appeared to show a most uncharacteristic lapse of judgement.'

Lapse of judgement seems to be a part of the Obama standard operating procedure. Britain, once we kicked her ass off this continent, has long been our closest ally. The simpatico between Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher was benefit for not just our two countries but for the world as a whole as these resolute leaders won the Cold War and free millions from Communism and the fear of the actions of Communists.

I only hope that, while Gordon Brown fattens up on popcorn watching his DVDs, Barack Obama pages through a few of those volumes of Churchill's life. There is little chance of that, I know.

S2