The check is in the mail

I have this propensity to keep the pens from my hotel rooms and bring them home. Mrs. Bald Man has demanded that I cease the practice as our drawers are overflowing with them. With this stated fact I must beg your forgiveness for not taking notes during the first press conference from the first African American President of the United States.

Like most press conferences there was a lot of nothing said but much of it deserves to be commented on. Unfortunately, being flush with pens but sans paper, I must rely on the many thoughts flying around my scattered brain like so many kernels of popcorn exploding in one of Mr. Redenbacher's bags in the microwave. The hard part is, like this type of corn, my ideas are finished popping in about three minutes so I best type fast.

If you didn't watch this press conference in which the press didn't press much, you might not catch the relevance of some of these comments but press on through and I will try to provide you some things to watch for in the news.

The ONE's denial of the existence of "pork" in this stimulus bill was truly an outright lie. Call me an anti-semantic but just because the spending here isn't directly targeted by a specific office holder doesn't mean it is not an earmark. If it isn't pork by definition it still comes from a pig. Millions for a Frisbee golf course squeals more than Ned Beatty in Deliverance. The poke is further populated by sending a check to individuals who don't pay taxes and calling it a tax cut.

Much ado was made by the President about his having inherited this crisis and that, going forward, he wasn't going to make the same mistakes and follow the same failed policies of the past eight years. He commented that these past policies doubled the deficit in recent years. Well, Mr. President, if one of the problems of the last eight years was the doubling of our deficit, how will spending an amount equal to about two thirds of everything produced in the country last year help? Running up a deficit didn't work so let's run up an even bigger one.

About a year ago, checks were sent out to the majority of people in this country. These checks were going to help stimulate the economy and stop the economic skid. It didn't work. Our new plan is to send out bigger checks to the majority of the people in this country to help stimulate the economy and stop the economic skid.

I will let pundits and others with bigger brains than me wax eloquently about the inaccuracies in Obama's statements regarding the biggest crisis since the depression and Japan's lost decade. In neither of these situations did government spending work to solve the problems and turn around the economic slides. The ONE is happy to use his clever little quip about how a stimulus package "by definition" spends money. I'm not a Harvard grad but my dictionary defines stimulus this way:

n., pl. -li (-lī').

1. Something causing or regarded as causing a response.
2. An agent, action, or condition that elicits or accelerates a physiological or psychological activity or response.
3. Something that incites or rouses to action; an incentive

I don't see mandatory spending hinted at. Do you?

The lap dogs in the press corps tossed a few softball to the President about Iran, Afghanistan and A Rod's steroid use. In way of answering, Obama blabbered about how it would be somewhat of a bad kind of thing if somehow Iran were to become a member nation in the Nuclear weapon club. This milk toast answer is in stark contrast to the definitive "Iran can not be allowed to acquire or develop Nucular (sic) arms" statement by George W Bush. Regarding the A-Roid question, I have to wonder if it is any surprise the Washington Post is failing. In the midst of a press conference about the supposed worst economic crisis since Ceasar needed Jesus Christ to convince the taxpayers to render unto him what was his, their White House correspondent asks a baseball question? It should be strikes one two and three he is out of there!

Helen "I hate George Bush and I am a liberal" Thomas proved her significance ended sometime in the Nixon years by asking if "so-called terrorists" were in Pakistan. Huh? I think in addition to being in the bag for Obama she is one of those women thinking of him in the sack. Ewwww.....I need a bag just thinking about that.


Other than the fact that Nurses find it hard to read Doctors' handwriting I don't know that anything new was revealed during this press conference. However, read between the lines of Obama's reference to "electronic advancements in health care" and you will see the road to Nationalized Health Care is being paved with stimulus funds.