The gifts that keeps on giving from those who continually don't get it

While they may seem an impersonal gift akin to giving someone a box set of DVDs, magazine subscriptions are actually nice to receive. Every month you get a little reminder of someones thoughtfulness in the mail and about twice a week you get a phone call from some reseller trying to get you to extend the subscription another year or two. Where else can you pack so much attention into $1.67 a month?

You'd think journalists, news commentators and late night comics would be celebrating like slum dwellers in India watching the Academy Awards over the cornucopia of material being provided to them by the Obama administration. But no, instead of embracing this ready made humor with Shiva's eight open arms, it seems all they can do is find more ways to bitch about Rush Limbaugh and liken him to one of Ganesh's heads on some perverse GOP idol. If Bush or Reagan underlings committed half of the faux pas as The ONE's, the media would be busting a collective gut and Twitter would be all a twitter with one liners. With signs of hope in the doom and gloom financial crisis harder to find than an open seat on the New Delhi to Mumbai express bus, we all need to take our smiles where we can find them.

Hillary Clinton must have taken the same gift giving course as the First Couple. Before beginning talks with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, the former First Lady and smartest woman in the World presented him with a gift meant to symbolize the "new beginning" of talks between our two countries. The gift was a small box with a red button on it and was supposed to have written on it, in Russin, "reset". Instead, our Cyrillicly challenged State Department labeled the button "overcharge". I don't know if this was a spelling error or if Hillary just grabbed the button meant for Nancy Pelosi's desk by mistake.


Hillary's Hilarity tour continued in Belgium where, addressing a group at the European Parliament, Bill's Better Half commented:

"I have never understood multiparty democracy.

"It is hard enough with two parties to come to any resolution, and I say this very respectfully, because I feel the same way about our own democracy, which has been around a lot longer than European democracy."

I hate to break it to our Secretary of State but it took my secretary all of 1 minute to find that most European democracies date back to the times of the Romans and our own representative republic is based off documents written by men pushing the plagarism envelope by citing numerous lines from the Magna Carta (written in 1215). Again I offer Hillary the benefit of the doubt as I am sure she is much more familiar with the politics, but not the language, of the former Soviet Union or Red China.

Ring three of Hillary's circus also took place in Brussels and is more funny weird than funny ha ha. Talking about the global economic turmoil, Clinton somehow related stock markets and businesses closing to "going green". She said, "Never waste a good crisis ... Don't waste it when it can have a very positive impact on climate change and energy security,". This joke of an idea has been a running gag in The ONE's reign of error and the clowns in Congress will vote on Cap and Trade in spring. Even supporters of the First African American President of the United States are questioning the widsom of this move.

Speaking of jokes and clowns, the former Vice President of the United States and temporarily miscounted President Al Gore was spewing more global warming gases out of his well stuffed pie hole at a Wall Street Journal Eco:nomics Conference when he was challenged by Man Made Global Warming skeptic and real scientist Bjorn Lomborg to debate the science of Gore's favorite topic and sacred cash cow. The Nobel Prize winner ducked the challenge faster than a turbaned snake charmer avoids a poisenous strike and continued his blather. Gore's been slinking away from debates for years now so he is getting good at it.

Finally, First Lady, fashion diva and Oprah cover girl Michelle Obama did the obligatory lunch lady duty at a local DC homeless shelter. The attempt at a photo op to show how the White House sits like a Taj Mahal amid poverty stricken slums was overexposed when the "poor" used their cell phones to create a photo op of their own with the First African American First Lady of the United States. The irony of this makes me want to shout, "Can you hear me now? We don't know what real poverty is."

In these times when everyone is worried about their job security, retirement funds, Iranian nuclear proliferation and Jessica Simpson's weight we sometimes have to tell ourselves it is OK to laugh. I promise to do my best to help with that smile on your face through the posts here. If that doesn't work, there is always this:



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