Swine Flu Test

In an effort at full disclosure, I must tell you that tonight's full post was appropriated from my friend William Lawson's blog. I will try to remember to ask his permission tomorrow.

Do you think you have the Swine Flu?
Click here to check.

S2

And now for something truly important

I'll keep this short since the Internet is running out of bandwidth and I was taught to share. With the two week celebration of Barack Obama's first 100 days in office, culminating with a White House love fest of a press conference, now over, perhaps Congress can get on to dealing with the very important issues our country now faces.

Oh, not the possible failure of the banking system and reporting on the super secret stress tests that were performed.

Not the potential bankruptcy of Chrysler this month and GM next month.

Not the flu formerly known as Swine that, according to the World Health Organization, is sure to reach pandemic proportions faster than a New York lawyer can dive under a taxi while Air Force One does a flyby of the Statue of Liberty.

The pressing issue about to be reviewed in the hallowed halls of one half of one third of our three part political system is whether the Bowl Championship Series for NCAA football is fair.

Joe Barton of Texas is behind this which only further proves Arlen Specter is not the only stupid Republican to have been elected.

Idiots.

S2

The more things change, the more they stay the same

I was listening to my MP3 player at work yesterday and was looking forward to hearing some classic Joe Cocker when, to my horror, the not so dulcet, to my ears, tones of Celine Dion rattled through my headphones. While Ms. Dion is quite popular with the non-discriminating music listener and gay community, she doesn't do much to float my auditory Titanic. I checked the display and, sure enough, the files were tagged with Joe Cocker's name, album info and song titles but what was contained therein was still digital Ones and Zeros of My Heart Will Go On. The label didn't matter, the song was what it was no matter what it was called.

Talk Radio and the 24 hour news channels are going wall to wall with coverage of Benedict Arlen Specter announcing he is changing parties. The Senator will take his nearly 30 years of seniority along with him as he jumps borders to join the Democratic party where he will be rewarded with Committee positions, flowers and probably rooms full of hookers and booze (he is becoming a Democrat after all) as though he is a returning war hero who charged the Filibuster bunker and blew it all to hell paving the way for an unfettered advance of left leaning programs at the hands of General Harry.

To anyone who bases their vote on the worthiness of the candidate and not the little initial by his or her name, this should be "ho hum" coverage and a big deal being made out of nothing. Mr. Specter has been more Democrat than Republican for some time now. Much of the coverage is quick to point out that his voting record is that of one not beholden to party affiliation. No shit Sherlock, tell us something we didn't know. Specter was one of three Republicans responsible for passing the Stimulus Package. Specter joined with the unions in support of the secret ballot suppressing Card Check initiative until he saw a challenge on the GOP primary front and changed his opinion. Specter was very critical of James Jeffords of Vermont when he switched parties a few years ago. S.P.E.C.T.R.E. is the fictional global terrorist organization featured in Ian Fleming's James Bond novels. There is no such thing as coincidence.

As recently as March 17th, the Pennsylvania RINO denied he was switching parties. I guess he wasn't all that serious, huh?
The news angle seems to be that, with the nearly certain victory of never really that funny Al Franken in Minnesota, the Democrats will now have their filibuster proof majority in the Senate. Again, ho hum. There was a posting by my favorite blogger last December regarding this exact issue that is still relevant today. You can review it here.

If Pennsylvania can do the right thing in 2010 and elect the heir apparent to the Republican nomination, Pat Toomey, the GOP might have a real Republican's butt in the seat on their side of the aisle for the first time in 28 years. Maine could do with a changing of the guard as well.

Fear not Republican faithful, don't look at it as losing a Senate seat. Think of it as finally putting that funny uncle where he belongs.

S2

Pig headed or bird brained?

It took almost 100 days of the new era of America but it finally happened, Obama is not the most oft typed word in headlines around the world. While his coverage, especially here in the United States, has been constant, those who would have answered "when pigs fly" to the proposition of his being supplanted by the common cold are now singing a new tune along with the recently made over Susan Boyle. The only headline that even is even remotely related to the president is one chiding the administration for their fly by of the Statue of Liberty with Air Force One. That will teach them to let Goose and Maverick at the helm.

I'm not letting any cat out of the bag (yes, this is a pig reference and it was used in a previous post, I know) to say the world is a buzz with coverage of the swine flu. It would be unfounded and irresponsible to criticize some level concern being expressed in the mass media of the world. Left unchecked this influenza could reach pandemic proportion. But after recent threats of similar worldwide spreading of SARS and the Bird Flu failed to take flight, I am feeling a bit like the farmer watching chicken little run from news conference to news conference saying the stye is falling.

Depending what news source you believe, deaths in Mexico range from 60 to 130 with up to 1000 more infected. The discrepency comes from the fact not all the deaths have been confirmed to have resulted from the Swine Flu. Cases of the H1N1 variant have reached as far away as New Zealand where students returning from a trip to Mexico have succumbed to the illness. The World Health Organization (WHO) has raised its Pandemic alert to level 4 (on a scale of what nobody has said) to indicate the seriousness of this threat. You know, it is like writing a letter to North Korea saying you are disappointed that they shot off an intercontinental ballistic missile.

It is fair to say you can't swing a cat, er pig, without hitting a reporter busy reporting on this most serious of threats. Here's some advice, if you aren't currently sitting in a Mexican bus depot, take a deep breath and relax. Take several breaths but be careful not to let out too much CO2 when you exhale, we don't want Al Gore showing up with a chart. At the current level of infection and allowing for some level of exponential growth, the Swine Flu is doubtful to reach its previous high water mark of 1918 where 20 million died worldwide. Even without universal healthcare here in the States, medical care here and worldwide has improved well beyond what it was back then. What we don't need is a repeat of how the most recent flare up was handled in 1976. Gerald Ford's botching of that is a topic still being debated by people who sit around debating the flu.

When the bird flu was last making its rounds throughout Asia, cautionary articles abounded about the potential for a great leap from bird to human. Already, articles of the potential of this latest Swine Flu strain to mutate are appearing. So far, the Bird Flu has not taken the flying leap from animal to human that was predicted. Human deaths from this disease since 1997 number around 200. In the last series of severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) in 2004, 128 deaths were reported although some of them are now believed to have been Bird Flu as well. I guess even diseases have to add to their numbers. Kind of like the Gay and Lesbian movements from the 70's and 80's now adding the Bisexual and Transgendered to swell their ranks. So, while it is possible for the current strain of Swine Flu to mutate in to a disease capable of herding the world's population more efficiently than a New Zealand "Babe", it remains just a hypothetical.

Every life is precious. I feel for anyone who loses a loved one to a disease, to an accident or to a low life flying a jet into a building. Just to placate those still believing we are wrong to prosecute a war on terror, let it be known I grieve for the innocents killed in that action too. But not a tear is shed for the active combatants. But, again, I digress. Yes, every life is precious, but in the grand scheme, this potential pandemic is nothing more than a pimple on the nose of a sneezing giant. Between 250,000 and 500,000 people worldwide die each year from your average, every day, plain vanilla type flu. They just don't do it all at once and they don't make headlines. You've a better chance of catching Dengue Fever in Argentina than the Swine Flu anywhere else in the world.

Face it, it is more likely the students from New Zealand brought back more cases of a social disease from Mexico than Swine Flu infections and while the Pacific Rim countries of Singapore, Thailand, Japan, Indonesia, and the Philippines are playing a live version of the popular web "hot or not" with arriving international passengers as a precautionary measure, the vast majority of us are in no danger. Let's not throw the baby wrapped in a typhoid blanket out with the bath water. Calls have been made to shut the border with Mexico and so many fingers are being pointed in Washington, DC (here, here and here) that you'd think the city was filled with nothing but Alzhiemers sufferers asking directions. There are, most likely, meetings in government offices the world over discussing how to best take political advantage of this situation. Bastards.

Let us hope cooler, less feverished heads prevail and we take a rational approach to this situation. Obama went golfing while yesterday's news conference about this outbreak was being held. Some have complained this was inappropriate. They need to get a life. If you really are concerned there are several steps you can take to protect yourself. Read here and avoid making out with (insensitive illegal alien stereotype coming) the gardener.

S2

No way to prosecute a war

It is Saturday night and I have two tubs of Ben and Jerry's awaiting me in the other room so I best be brief.

Have you noticed the recent uptick in bombings an insurrectionist activities in Iraq since The ONE announced a date for the withdrawal of our troops?

Combine this with his asinine decision to allow the prosecution of interrogators and others from the Bush administration and you've got a one two punch of support and morale boosting for Al Queda members the world over.

To those who don't think we should resort to water boarding or placing furry little centipedes in a cell with a known terrorist, I offer this cartoon by Investor Business Daily cartoonist Michael Ramirez.



S2

It's not over until the fat man debates

A lot of coverage in the media today is being given to former eight year Vice-President, and eight minute President, Al Gore. The chubby guy, who was but a heartbeat away from the Presidency, is now giving heart palpitations to a growing number of scientists and "man caused global warming" skeptics the world over.

For years Mr. Gore has been saying the debate about Global Climate Change (note the change in terminology) is over. Well as Sylvester Stallone, as the scholar John Rambo, once shouted, "Nothing is over!" Hell, the debate never began.

Al Gore has been ducking debate since before the release of the very erroneous An Inconvenient Truth. The Nobel Prize winner is being anything but noble in his zeal to push forward an implementation of climate policies that promise to wreak havoc on the global economy. The only cooling these regulations, taxes and schemes will cause is a cooling of the engines of capitalism.

Newt Gingrich did an admirable job pointing out some of the foibles and inconsistencies in Gore's little presentation this morning. Unfortunately, Newt was a last minute substitute. The first round draft pick was the UK's Lord Christopher Monckton, a former science advisor to Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. Lord Monckton had been asked by Republican Congressman Joe Barton to offer a rebuttle to the incorrect facts pulled from the former VP's butt. Unfortunately, the leaders of the House Democrats refused to let Lord Monckton speak and decided to inform him when his plane landed in Washington. You'd think they would have wanted to save all that carbon from being burned and told him, the polite way, before he made the trip.

My friends, the hysteria around Global Warming and the push to enact legislation based on false science, misinterpreted data and outright lies by the Green crowd is bordering on the criminal. It is well past time for us, right thinking and informed Americans, to push back against this tide.

We should start by forcing a very public debate between Mr. Gore and a renowned person from the other side. There are several who would do wonders. They probably don't even have to be from the A team. A second rate debater with a bit of information and common sense would do well against Al Gore and his debate strategies of talking down to people and sighing.

Inform yourself. Then inform your neighbor. Look at these and have your eyes opened:

The recently launched Climate Depot.

The Australian.

A great look at Earth Day predictions from 1970.

A look at the kind of ideas that Earth saving minds come up with.

It isn't the Prejeans that make you look like an ass, it is the size of your fat head.

Married men live in constant fear. Fear that we won't notice a new hairstyle, a new outfit or, worse yet, that we will be asked by our spouse how she looks in a new outfit that we don't like. What do we do? Lie and live to lie another day or tell the truth and go, head held high, to the dog house to serve our penance.

It isn't our fault. If you ask me my opinion, don't be mad when the answer I provide isn't the one you want to hear. I'm a man firm in my convictions and, I like to think, I am willing to suffer the consequences of holding firmly to them. Conversely, if I ask you a question, I expect an honest answer and I'll respect it even if it isn't what I'd hoped to hear.

The same, unfortunately, can't be said of all men. In the case of this post, I am using the word man as loosely as Lindsay Lohan's tops are currently fitting. This post, like my one when Proposition Eight was voted on in California is not about gay marriage or my opinion on it. That is not germane to the discussion.

You are probably all aware that during the recent Miss America pageant, Miss California was asked by blogger and judge Perez Hilton her opinion on gay marriage. Miss California, Carrie Prejean, answered and it became apparent that Mr. Hilton was not only jealous that Ms. Prejean looks better in an evening gown than he does but that he really didn't care for her answer which defended marriage as a union between a man and a woman. He stated afterward that if he could have placed her 51st he would have. He went on to call her some of the most vile and debasing names one can use to refer to a woman.

To say the hissy hit the fit would be an understatement. The openly gay and surprisingly unattractive (for a gay man that is) Hilton has had a plethora of posts on his website which it a haven for images of stars frequently annotated with hastily drawn genitalia. I think Hilton is suffering from some weird form of penis envy. It is either an homage to loves lost or a fantasy of unrequited lust. Either way you get the idea of the tact and level of intellect we are dealing with when we associate ourselves with the self-proclaimed "Queen of all media".

There are several queer angles in this twisted tale of "the Beauty Queen and the tea bagger" (If this offensive term is acceptable on MSNBC and CNN I guess I can use it here where it truly is more apropos.) What the hell is this guy doing as a judge at the Miss America Pageant in the first place? If you want a man's opinion you should get one who can actually appreciate a well rounded (physically and mentally) woman for something other than a personal ideal to achieve. If you want a woman's perspective, you should seek one who can empathize with what these contestants have gone through. Mr. Hilton lies somewhere in the middle of these two sexes like a hiker in a narrow slot canyon who sees the walls rising on both sides but is incapable of realizing what lies at the top of either wall.

In recent days gay activists have been all over talk shows saying how they were offended by Ms. Prejean's comments and that she deserved to lose after she entered the political arena. Excuse me? She answered a question. She answered it with poise, tact and, even though I don't think it was required, stated "no offense is meant" as she answered it. Mr. Hilton brought the arena of social politics in to the arena of the contest when he posed the question to the posing beauty queen before him.

Ms.Prejean, with full knowledge her answer would cost her the crown, held firm to her convictions and answered honestly and let the crown fall where it may. Hilton claims she should have been more PC in her response. Well sorry the answer wasn't what you wanted Perez, you asked for it. Just like when Proposition 8 was put to a vote by the entire state of California. You lost that one too. It is sad those on the side of this issue claimed by the left are so intolerant of any dissent that every effort must be made to destroy those expressing the dissenting point of view.

I've avoided a bunch of easy gay and fat jokes so far. I'd rather embed a video by Steven Crowder. He nails it.



S2

A day of Earthly delights where it is the thought that counts

I love Earth Day. Really, I do. Earth Day is one of those perfect examples of how, in more left leaning circles, it is not the result but the intent that matters.

First, in a typical rambling aside, is it a coincidence that Earth Day and Lenin's birthday are one in the same? Not John the Beatles Lenin, the other one. The former Bolshevik revolutionary leader turned room temperature tourist attraction responsible for implementing Karl Marx's, not one of the "brothers Marx", Communist ideals in a so-called practical use. That Lenin. I know, a lot of other people were born today too but Vlad seems to have more in common with many Earth Day devotees than many of the others.

Conservatives often get a bad rap on Earth Day. Probably because most conservative Rappers suck, as does most rap music but I digress. Free market principles are seen to be in conflict with nature's conservancy when in reality nothing is further from the truth. Anti-capitalists will claim business only protects the environment when forced to. The funny thing to me about the previous link, found in a Village Voice article today, is that it is about Los Angeles; the epicenter of all things liberal and people famous for being famously green.

I would argue true conservative business men and woman are very in tune with their environment and realize the preservation of it is a requirement for long term growth, success and sustainment of our species. It is not hard to find a speaker at an Earth Day rally wistfully discussing the coming demise of mankind (sorry, personkind) due to its raping of Mother Earth's resources. The eradication of us from the planet is welcomed. I haven't looked it up but I'll bet my yearly allocation of carbon credits that the American Psychiatric Association has a diagnosed psychosis around the desire for your self or your species to be wiped out. For the sake of expediency, let's just call them nuts.

Look the world over and it becomes obvious the higher level of development that a country achieves the more time, effort and money it can devote to preservation of natural areas and cleaning up previously ravaged ones.

Minds more open and more developed than mine are writing Earth Day articles by the organically grown bushel today. It is too late in this day for me to spend on the research to cite links and quotes. Plus, the longer I stay up tonight, the longer I will have the two 100 Watt bulbs over my head sucking life from the Earth.

The point I feel is important about today is encompassed in this post's title. I don't begrudge anyone who wants to "save the planet". I begrudge their methods and their not so subtly hidden agendas. I also have to laugh at the effort that goes in to a one day event that seems to be less well received year after year. Effort and a lot of generating of landfill filling garbage, using of fossil fuels and just plain expelling of global warming hot air.

A good example of image over substance is the widely covered dimming of lights at New York's Empire State building. Even Sponge Bob Squarepants took a break from his, most likely chauffeured, media tour to attend the event. The lights will be turned off for a whopping sixty seconds to commemorate this august occasion. Turning the lights off in this building for that length of time, in the grand scheme of things, would be about as effective trying to stop a smoke belching freight train full of wonderful energy producing coal by parking your Smart car or Prius across the tracks at the end of a twenty mile straightaway.

Earth Day is a showcase for limousine environmentalists to take private jets across the country to show their support at events where a tree is planted or a factory is protested. The experience, for many, is enough to see them through the remaining smug filled 364 days until next year's Earth Day and another road trip.

Instead of one day, I'd like to see many of these hypocrites walk the walk. Some do. Ed Bagley Jr, besides probably possessing a few psychosis of his own, does live a lifestyle that he preaches. I can respect that and him.

I will probably be accused of being quite cynical but, here is a link to a number of Earth Day related photos of the beautiful people and their activities to save us all from ourselves. I encourage you to keep an eye out for them and, if you get the chance, remind them of their commitment to the planet should they ever stray from their enlightened path.

S2

What have you done for me lately?

To listen to the mainstream media talk about the recent Tea Parties, when they weren't making juvenile jokes (Ed note: How does Anderson Cooper KNOW it is hard to speak while teabagging?) rather than discussing the real philosophy behind them.

The protests were not solely anti-democrat. They were not racist. They were not a bunch of ignorant sheep blindly following Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck. They were full of bible carrying, gun owning potential terrorists, but that is just Ms. Napolitano's opinions.

Proof that hypocritical Republicans won't get a free ride comes in this video from PalmettoScoop.com taken at a Greenville, SC Tea Party. Congressman J. Gresham Barrett from the state's 3rd District, who voted for the TARP program and for a second stimulus package tried to show how he was "one of us". Overall, his record is fairly good with appropriate votes on many conservative issues. His entire voting record can be found here. But what is evidenced by the reception he received at the tea party is that Republicans don't automatically pull the lever for the candidate with an R by his/her name unlike other well know "voting blocks".

Big boys don't cry

I am fairly certain I've never been accused of being a metro sexual male. It's not like I am a neanderthal. I'm just a regular guy who likes regular guy things. I ascribe to the belief men are to keep their emotions in check. It pains me to see shows like The Bachelor where effeminate pretty boys feign heterosexual impulses while selecting from a bevy of low self-esteem, surgically enhanced fame seekers and then shed tears of regret for "the one that I should have chosen". My guess is the one they are tearing up for is listed in the show's scrolling credits as the "best boy" but an admission of that would kill their ratings.

I'll happily submit to any voir dire regarding my status as an old fashioned male of Renaissance values. So it is with a humbled ego but no regrets that I admit today I witnessed something that brought tears to my jaded eyes.

In the course of my daily reading and quest for a suitable blog topic, I kept coming across posts about a middle-aged frumpy Scottish woman who's popularity on You Tube was "Boyling" over after her appearance on Britain's Got Talent. With the same curiosity that normally get's one in trouble and infects laptops with a virus, I clicked an enticing link. WOW! [Note: the embedded video below has been edited. Follow the previous link for a full version.]



My analytical mind has struggled with what it is that has so profoundly affected many of the millions who have witnessed Susan Boyle's performance. Honestly, had she simply walked in to your average Irish pub on Karaoke night and belted the song out, she would have garnered the attention of everyone there but only for that fact she has an above average set of pipes. More tears would be shed at last call than at the end of the first refrain. So what happened on Britain's Got Talent?

I think what happened was a crowd of superficial, judgemental, cynics had their entrenched paradigm ripped out, chewed up and spit back in their faces by an unassuming, church going spinster.

I've never enjoyed American Idol, the United State's variation of Britain's Got Talent, for the same reason I don't enjoy escape artists. The first weeks of every season are the variety show equivalent of an amateur performance of a buried alive stunt or high wire straight jacket escape. People tune in hoping for failure and bloody carnage and find themselves mildly amused when, with a brief glimmer of talent, a tragic ending is avoided. I can only assume the Neilsen households who drive up Idol's ratings get some feeling of superiority watching ignorant, tone deaf hacks embarrassing themselves in a quest for instant fame. Once a score of marginally talented and visually appealing vocalists are selected, the show becomes a soap opera where the most deserving (read: needy) is often retained for another week instead of the most able.

When the eccentric, learning disabled, cat loving homebody walked on stage the crowd prepared itself for an easy chuckle at her expense. Perhaps Ms. Boyle benefited from the prejudice of low expectation but, seconds in to her performance, she burst from her caterpillar's cocoon to become the butterfly of the evening. The standing ovation she received was justly deserved although I fear it was spawned from guilt. Guilt borne of prejudice against the plain. Guilt over the hope that this woman would fall flat on her face and be subject to the show's judge's ridicule.

Judge Amanda Holden was most eloquent in her sincere apology and her statement that, "it was a complete privilege to listen to that". Yes it was a privilege. In this era of fame at any cost and undeserved popularity, to witness someone's pursuit of a dream in an altruistic endeavor instead of an assumed right to infamy is all the more special because the dreamer doesn't fit the mold, or the wardrobe, of your average overnight sensation.

Ms. Boyle has embarked on a journey to success and so far seems to be taking it all in stride. I pray she avoids the pitfalls and pratfalls that will surely be written in to the script of this unscripted reality show and that she does remain faithful to who she is. If she does succumb, she will become just another narcissist seeking fame instead of the ugly duckling who's swan does not emerge as outer beauty but instead is embodied in the reminder to us all that dreams can come true and no one can tell us otherwise if we believe in ourselves.

I am speechless

Watching the reporting, when there was any, regarding the Tea Parties (or if you were watching CNN or MSNBC the Teabagging "snicker snicker guffaw" Parties) I actually found myself speechless.

If the media displayed a lack of ability to report, in an unbiased way, news during the election of The ONE, they went completely off the rails yesterday.

Somebody once said there are two sides to every story and I guess there are; there is the truth and then there is, umm, not the truth.

The Media Research Center has links to a dozen examples of media bias. In my own research, I found two examples of how it is not the right wing interested in squelching free speech. Look at how State run USC, claiming to be private property, treats a film maker only interested in asking questions. Then watch how students suppress the speech of an invited guest. You will not the police in this second video are a bit more comfortable with gadflys.

Link:

Now look at how a right wing fanatical protester and public teabagger (said for the benefit of David Shuster) is confronted by a CNN reporter and then look at this same reporter at an anti-Bush rally in New Orleans several years ago.





I can't think of anything to say. Sorry. I will let the geniuses over at Fox's Red Eye say it for me.



S2

Temporary stupidity or permanent insanity?

I've heard it said you can't fix stupid. That saying implies that stupid is a permanent state. For some it is. But, in my own defense, sometimes stupid can be just a temporary condition brought about from a lapse in judgement or simple absent mindedness.

For the past year or so, Mrs. Bald Man has been my chauffeur to the airport. Her willingness to drive me has meant we can remain a one car family (frugal and so good for the planet. Aren't you proud of us?) and my company saves parking expenses. Unfortunately, she is out of town herself this week so I had to drive myself to catch a plane for a day trip to our Nevada office. I found the airport without too many missed turns and was able to park the car and proceeded to the security line without incident.

It seemed to be my day to be singled out by the TSA. I had a batch of DVDs and CDs in my carry on so I fully expected the extra attention. What I didn't envision was the very thorough examination of my bag. It turns out I, without thinking, grabbed the Jeep key ring on which we keep a small pen knife. Of course, this weapon of mass destruction was confiscated. Stupid me for not paying attention to what I placed in my bag.

What makes this incident blog worthy is the fact that most every other week, I have a garment bag and bathroom kit. In this kit is a pair of scissors. These scissors are within the four inch blade length allowed by TSA standards.

Let's recap:
Mini, less than two inch knife: Banned
Regular four inch scissor blade: OK

Somewhere in our Nation's capitol is a person or persons sitting in a conference room making decisions that affect our safety and whether or not a Tea Party attendee is a terrorist. I don't know about you but examples like this don't fill me with much confidence.

S2

It is a slippery slope as Green will be the new Pink

I feel for the DHS classified Right Wing Extremest Tea Party attendees in the Salt Lake area tomorrow. The mountains above our beautiful city are expected to get another two feet of global climate change induced snowfall. This skiable precipitation will be nothing but a cold wet rain in the valley. I suppose the inclement weather will limit attendance of the event to the truly faithful and keep the riff raff to a minimum. I will be doing the 450 mile carbon burning commute to Las Vegas for the day so my attendance will be only in spirit. To those of you going I say carry on and carry an umbrella.

The spring snowfall turns my thoughts to global warming and the manufactured hysteria around this false, anti-capitalist movement. Summer will soon be here along with the warm temperatures we normally have. Heat waves will spawn the usual newspaper and internet headlines of rising sea levels, melting ice caps and mankind's imminent demise.

The "green" movement, having reached the highest levels of our government has inspired a stimulus package filled with incentives for energy saving jobs, energy saving technologies and alternative energy research. The incentives promise us a better tomorrow and a cleaner planet. Unfortunately, a recently released study indicates the move to "greener" jobs will lead to a bitter tomorrow and emptier parking lots at companies. The unemployed who are now training for "green collar" jobs should be prepared to be back in training very soon as their new job will lead to less jobs overall.

Recently, President Obama's Interior Secretary, Ken Salazar, said that the amount of "developable" wind power off the East Coast could produce more energy than all of the coal-fired electric plants in the United States. According to FactCheck.org this statement is full of a bit of globally warmed hot air.

In theory there is enough offshore wind to generate far more electricity than coal plants do. Right now the United States has a total of zero offshore wind farms and, assuming the Kennedys and their Portuguese water dog walking friends in Hyannis Port aren't the only "not in my back yard" citizens on the East Coast, that number likely won't grow to the 3,600 farms it is estimated will be needed to harness and produce enough electricity to replace coal in the near future. To put that number in perspective, we are talking about land based farms that will cover an area the size of the state of Rhode Island.

In an example of how cannibals eat their own, the environmentalist group, Friends of the Earth, have stated that their fellow tree huggers favorite pump product, Biofuels, is producing twice the amount of carbon emissions of the gasoline they are made to replace. As one (most likely) ponytail clad vegetarian member of the group stated, "Trying to cut emissions by adding biofuels to petrol is like trying to cut down on beer by lacing your pints with vodka". I'll agree with him on that point; these green groups drive me to drink, but only in hybrids.

Most disturbing in this age where new coal, oil or nuclear plants are as welcome as Caroline Kennedy at the Vatican, a study of the effects on employment of public monies spent on renewable energy sources in Spain has just been released. In speeches, our President Obama has pointed to the bull running homeland as a solar powered shining example of a green move toward alternative energy. I will admit I haven't read the entire 51 page report but I did gleam this from the executive summary:

"... while it is not possible to directly translate Spain’s experience with
exactitude to claim that the U.S. would lose at least 6.6 million to 11 million
jobs, as a direct consequence were it to actually create 3 to 5 million “green
jobs” as promised (in addition to the jobs lost due to the opportunity cost of
private capital employed in renewable energy), the study clearly reveals the
tendency that the U.S. should expect such an outcome."

What that means in English and Austrian is the expansion of and investment in green jobs actually has a net negative effect. According to the study, Spain spent over 570,000 Euros to create each "green job", including subsidies of more than 1 million Euros per wind industry job. The study cautions against green energy mandates. Duh!

Tomorrow (today for most of you) there will be an estimated 2,000 protest Tea Parties around this great carbon producing country of ours. The numbers in attendance should dwarf those of any recent Earth Day celebrations. Despite this turnout, these parties will be belittled, discounted and made fun of. The attacks have already started on left leaning internet sites and MSNBC. It amazes me that, in the face of overwhelming impact, the mainstream media can ignore this movement while, in the face of underwhelming and often made up "facts", they support the global climate change crowd. Tomorrow, I can hope, will be the tipping point in the economic battle and this will lead to additional victory on the warming front.

While taking back our government, let us also remember, we need to take back our planet.

If you get a chance, pick up a copy of the newly released book "Heaven and Earth" by Ian Plimer. Heaven and Earth is an evidence-based attack on conformity and orthodoxy inspired by the likes of Mr Offset himself, Al Gore. In fact, help the economy, buy two copies and give one to a friend; preferable a liberal one.

S2

Now he's gone and done it!

I didn't get as much done at work as I wanted today so I ended up working later this evening than planned. And, unfortunately, the blog is suffering a bit tonight.

I have outstanding research on Obama's 600 mile pizza delivery, Michelle's playing the media and the new puppy's piddling. Truth be told, I just don't feel like picking on the First African American President tonight. He did the right thing.

The news is abuzz with confirmation that The ONE gave the "go" order for the taking down of the terrorist Pirates off the coast of Somalia. I think a bit much is being made of his involvement as he didn't give the go order at the time of firing, it was a standing rule of engagement.

Nonetheless, the order was there, it was right and credit goes where credit is due. As conservatives, we need to be sure to provide this. So much was fuss was made over every decision made by George Bush for the past eight years that those on the left could seriously have been diagnosed with a true derangement syndrome.

Let's all come together, like much of the nation will be doing on Wednesday for tea, and give a good job to The ONE who, this time, deserves it.

Tomorrow, back to picking on the poor guy.

S2

There was a time when things made sense

This has been a tough weekend to write a blog. There are several good, albeit, short topics begging for commentary. Concurrently, however, there exists the realization that this Holy Weekend represents something larger and more important than a politically and socially oriented blog written with as much depth to story as an episode of Three's Company after the departure of Suzanne Summers.

I picked three subjects to write on and struggled to create the proper irreverent tone each warranted. It wasn't long after I raised the white flag of surrender and turned out the light last night that I realized that these stories were related. The relation is as tenuous as Woody Harrelson's hold on reality but it is there if you look closely.

The lunatics has taken over the asylum:
The school board in Plano, Texas has decided to change their grading standards for middle school students. No longer will cheating or turning in an assignment late have an affect on one's grade and homework often won't even be corrected.

According to the Dallas News "... a growing philosophical shift is putting more emphasis on what students are learning overall, rather than mostly focusing on a grade that can be pulled down by smaller assignments, quizzes, bad behavior or poor study skills." I'll tell you what this philosophical shift will help the young skull's full of mush learn. It will teach them that cheating is acceptable and deadlines and standards are flexible targets with very large bulls eyes. Assignments that are handed out (i.e. homework) are meaningless and require no effort as there will be no review.

For the alarmists who have for years accused state run school systems of dumbing down the country's children this is is another arrow for their quiver. To me it is an ego inflating realization that the condescending view I hold of the youth of today and the fact they seem to be getting more stupid with each school year is accurate and hasn't been tainted by my affliction toward children. I've blogged before about how cheating seems to be a part of today's sports world. The obsession video gamers have with finding "cheat codes" rather than winning their games legitimately is even more evidence cheating is no longer frowned upon.

The days of honesty, hard work, determination and personal fortitude are fast becoming nothing more than a part of our nostalgic past. Senator Chuck Shumer agrees with me although he doesn't seem to mind.




There ought to be a law:
The amnesty providing DREAM Act (Ed. Note: yet another reason to vote against Orrin Hatch) has been reintroduced to Congress. The discussion of this waste of paper, like debating whether Ginger or Marianne is the hotter castaway, is sure to continue to light up patrons in bars across the country as the light themselves up on domestic beer and shots of Jagermeister. Since when does a person's legal status in the United States matter?

In July of this year a law takes effect in Utah that allows local officers to enforce federal immigration law. Fortunately for taco stands across the state, police in several cities have announced they will not participate in this cross-agency effort. Salt Lake City Police Chief Chris Burbank said "If we start taking action based solely on immigration status, we would be making enforcement decisions based on race and ethnicity". Really? The law makes absolutely no mention of race or ethnicity. I get the feeling Burbank's statement is the racist one. Canadians, Germans, Pakistanis and Samoans can be in this country as illegally as any Mexican or Guatemalan.

Refusing to enforce immigration law is akin to a highway patrolman deciding that only red cars should be clocked for speeding. But hey, we can't run the risk of making anyone feel singled out. What difference does it make if they are here legally or illegally?

Fawlty Towers foreign policy:
During the Obama European Apology Tour 2009, the President of France insisted the First African American President of the United States take a trip with him to Normandy to pay his respects. In a move that filled plenty of time between commercials on talk radio stations across the country, Obama refused to go so as to not cause the Germans feelings to be hurt. Other people's feelings seem to take a pretty high priority in this White House. We can't have the Germans upset that Obama is spending more time on the beach in France than in Bavaria. All banks had to take TARP funds, even not at risk ones, so that banks at risk would not feel bad (True statement). And we can't call terrorist acts "man caused disasters" for reasons I can't even begin to comprehend.

If it weren't for the reason offered for not going to Normandy being so stupid, I wouldn't really care. Obama is scheduled to go to France in June for the specific purpose of a battlefield tour and that is wholly appropriate. While there, he might be able to reconstruct the rock art memorial built by former President and skirt chaser Bill Clinton years ago when he walked the beach. Obama seems to have the same people making his excuses regarding travel and bowing as are buying his gifts.

The whole "don't upset the Germans" argument has prompted me to seek out a clip from the BBC show Fawlty Towers. John Cleese was told, under no circumstances, should he mention "the war" to his German guests. Just like the White House efforts to deny bowing or their emphasis to not hurt a country's feelings, their lame excuses are only drawing more attention to these acts.



I will leave it to you to link these three topics in your own way. Here is my take in a poor wrap up to a rambling post: Instead of relaxing the standards we teach our kids, choosing what laws we enforce and what ones we ignore and worrying that countries like us so much that we make excuses instead of standing up for what is right, we ought to spend some time reflecting on what is important.

S2

This really shouldn't take that long

Why is it that the simplest things seem to take so long?

Mrs. Bald Man and I started to Xeriscape our lawn last year and, embarrisingly so, it is nowhere near being done. I am making progress but, you'd think, killing grass, grading the area, putting down some weed retarding, sorry that should be weed developmentally challenging, material and covering this will rocks and wood chips wouldn't be a several month undertaking.

Sometimes, like the final weigh ins on the Biggest Loser, events that you'd think would be as quick as Dennis Miller's wit end up dragging on like a Keith Olbermann self-aggrandising rant and, like said rant, seemingly degrade with each passing minute.

Such is the case with the so-called pirate hostage situation off the Somali coast. The situation is more "rub a dub dub Islamic terrorists in a tub" than "yo ho ho and a Johnny Depp look-alike with rum" in which four of these eye-patchless pirates are in a 28 foot life boat holding the captain of an American vessel hostage while the 565 foot 9100 ton USS Bainbridge sits idly by. It is not like we hadn't seen this coming!

FBI negotiators are on the scene and calls for reinforcements have gone out by both sides. The staring contest continues and the situation will surely escalate when more party guests arrive.

Like Rutger's chance at a NCAA Football championship, this should have been over before the first kickoff. The four want to be Blackbeard's are in the sights of Navy sharpshooters who, with the application of a few foot pounds of finger pressure could send them all to Davey Jone's locker while simultaneously providing a well balanced lunch for a school of Ahi tuna.

What about the safety of hostage Richard Phillips? It seems Phillips has had enough of his captor's company. He took a swan dive, more like a belly flop, from the boat in an escape attempt. Why this was not seen as the perfect opportunity to put a few dings in the dinghy and holes in the pirates is beyond me.

The longer this situation goes on, the more likely it will end with either the Captain being murdered or, almost worse, the US government dropping a boatload of cash into the boatload of pirates. If the latter occurs, you can bet your parrot there will be a flotilla of peg legged Somalis catching the first available trade wind toward the closest US ship.

This should end now and it should end decisively. Why the First African American President of the United States has no comment on this situation is beyond me. Yet again, we are signaling weakness in the eyes of the world. There is a time for negotiation and there is a time for action. This scum, who are making a very good living terrorizing innocents, have nothing to bargain with. They are out of gas and at the mercy of the tides. Mercy is not a trait they have exhibited in the past and it is not something we should endeavor to provide them. It's time to send a message in a bottle to these refugees from the human race that we, the civilized of society, can't have the ships of our fortune boarded at will and the treasure of our hard earned bounty seized. We need to drop anchor and take the wind of of their sails by dropping a few pirates.

Ahoy.

S2

Oh yeah, that makes perfect sense

Reading headlines today I had to check the calendar a few times to make sure it was not still April 1. I wish it still was because, without the hope that what is being reported is really an attempt at a prank, I am left only to assume those in our government really do think we are stupid.

I've seen the video of President Obama not bowing before King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at the G-20 meeting in London. Well, according to a nameless White House staffer, one of the 500 in the Pres' European posse,

"It wasn't a bow. He grasped his hand with two hands, and he's taller than King Abdullah,".

If that is the case, I have to wonder who's hand that is rising from Obama's side after straightens his waist. I know he and his administration seem to have their hands in to so many aspects of our daily lives that is seems they are blessed with more than a humanly count of two hands.

Those of you think this is a conservative built mountain erupting like an Alaskan volcano that could blast Obama particles skyward (see below) need to realize this is an example of the First African American President of the United States being able to produce yet another faux pas without being called on it in the fawning mainstream media.

Following the anonymous staffer's logic, the President should have been almost on the floor to perform a two handed shake with the Ewok sized Queen of England. Let's go to the tape and see how far he had to bend to shake her hand:


It seems the President's knowledge of bowing etiquette is right in line with his gift giving prowess and mastery of Austrian as a second language. I am thinking the President studied science at the same place as these other subjects. In an effort to curb global warming, The ONE is exploring a plan to shoot pollution particles into the upper atmosphere to reflect the sun's rays and cool the Earth.

The fact that there has been no warming in the past 10 years notwithstanding, isn't pollution (like those particles being launched) one of the things blamed for the supposed warming? The author of Audacity of Hope seems to be quite audacious in his opinion that mankind, sorry personkind, can control nature with what would be a parlor trick akin to making hand shadows on the wall from a table lamp's light.

The plan to stop global warming could be like a cold shower to the maker of the Kyoto Box Oven. This aluminum foil covered cardboard box won the "inventor" of the box around $100,000. I wonder if he is going to reinvest some of this bounty in to developing the Magnifying Glass Microwave?

I wish I could make these things up but I guess truth is stranger than fiction.

S2

If it doesn't kill you, it must be regulated

When I was showering earlier today, I noticed the shower curtain moving ever so slightly. I pulled it back and was greeted with a sheepish looking set of brown eyes staring up at me. I couldn't figure out what had the dog worried until I realized he had just eaten the last of the bar of soap I was intending on using. Who would have thought he would do that?

Kids and dogs share a lot of the same traits and neither has much, if any, common sense. I guess that is why Congress feels compelled to pass law after law after law after law in an effort to protect little Johnnie from everything from hot soup to airplane peanuts.

Most of these laws and regulations make sense. Strapping junior in to a car seat not only could save his life in a fender bender but it will also keep your target stationary when you have to turn around and pop him one for refusing to stop signing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" at the top of his lungs. V-chips on all televisions keep little eyes from seeing errant boobage on late night Cinemax and also let's me block the Oxygen channel so I don't see the Burning Bed three times a month.

Of course no good deed goes unpunished and coming to a head soon are two decisions made with the best of intentions by people with IQs similar to the weight of your average 6-8 year old. Thankfully they juxtapose very nicely.

The Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008, enacted August 14 of last year, was set to go into effect and ban all products designed for children ages 12 or under which contain lead over specified limits. Regulations are outlined under Title I of the Act and sets the lead limit at “600 parts per million total lead content by weight for any part of the product.” That limit will drop to 300 ppm one year after the date of enactment and 100 ppm three years after unless deemed technologically unfeasible.

That sounds good in theory until you ask your local All Terrain Vehicle salesman. You see, children's ATVs contain lead and are thus banned under this new law. The ban is estimated to cost the industry over $100 million and will force dad's all across the country to share their rides with the kids greatly cutting in to their precious weekend riding time. Of course there is nothing to stop a child under twelve from trying to eat Dad's (or mom's) lead filled ride so I don't see the protection working as planned. In a moment of clarity of thought, the Consumer Product Safety Commission voted on April 3 to grant a one-year stay of enforcement on the lead ban. But it is still coming.

If you've read this blog for any length of time you are aware that in a few years, those bright incandescent bulbs that permit you to push back the night and function after dark will be replaced with CFLs, those less bright planet savings pieces of crap. CFLs happen to contain Mercury, a neurotoxin and they pose a health hazard when broken. So much of a hazard that the there is a warning on the back of packages and the Maine Bureau of Remediation & Waste Management gives the following advice if a fluorescent bulb breaks in the home:

1. Never use a vacuum to clean up the breakage because it may spread mercury dust in the air.
2. Keep people and pets away from the scene of the break.
3. Ventilate the area.
4. If possible, reduce the temperature of the room.
5. Wear protective equipment such as rubber gloves, safety glasses, a duck mask and old clothing.
6. Remove large pieces and place is secure, closed or airtight plastic bag.
7. Collect smaller pieces and dust using a disposable dustpan and broom.
8. Put all material into an airtight plastic bag. Pat the breakage area with the sticky side of something like duct tape. Wipe the area with a damp cloth or paper towels to pick up the rest.
9. Put the debris and any materials used to clean it up into a secure closed container and label it "Universal Waste -Broken Lamp."
10. Take the container for recycling of universal waste.

That seems easy and these bulbs will be mandated in the near future!

Putting these two regulations together begs the question: What is more likely to happen, a child breaks a light bulb or he eats an ATV? I don't have time to ponder it now, the dog has been drinking out of the toilet and now he is burping soap bubbles.

S2

I can make fire

When camping, I've been able to rub a couple sticks together and create fire. Yes, it is a bit more complicated that just grabbing the closest twigs and introducing them to each other but....you get my point: I can do it.

Fire, along with other early inventions like the wheel, arrow heads and 8 Track tape players brought man from his earliest origins to the point we are now where I can sit in the bedroom of my youth, type a few words on a laptop keyboard and have those words available instantly at the farthest reaches of the globe. At least in theory I can.

My laptop is on its final legs and, come Monday, it will be retired. It takes about six attempts to upload anything and I am incapable if finding the cause and fixing it. So, while I am able to survive MacGuyver-like, for a week in the wilderness of Idaho with nothing more than the clothes on my back, 18 inches of dental floss and a butter knife, I can't overcome the limits of my personal technology.

This loss of instant access, combined with the impending launch of a North Korean "satellite" has me wondering what we as a nation would do if we were suddenly nuked back to an age before the Internet, I-pods and those fancy light up tennis shoes I see kids wearing at the Mall were available as readily as they are now. Could we survive having to provide for our own survival?

I watched, and fell in love with, the show Jericho on Fancast.com. I recommend everyone watch this bit of fiction and think about what you might do in the same circumstances.

For my part, I give up. For the next few days I probably won't be posting to this blog as I get the new Laptop tweaked to Bald Man standards. I'll be sure to save up for some chilling, witty, insightful and, hopefully, entertaining posts next week.

See you soon.

I find this quite Taxing

Life is complicated. I am on vacation this week, my laptop is screwed up and I am getting work related emails. I am trying to avoid them as much as possible but there are a few I feel compelled to answer. I guess we've reached the point where our time is never really our own. But that isn't what I am finding to be taxing.

This morning's news highlighted a group of unshaven, unwashed, uncivilized and, I am guessing, uneducated rabble in the UK marching (read that rioting) on the Bank Of Scotland screaming "down with money". The next time I come across one of these little anarchists on the street begging for some spare change, I think I'll introduce them to a couple penny loafers up their backside. The misunderstanding these mini-Stalins have about just about everything in the World today would take me a week and a half to write about. Don't worry, that isn't what I am finding to be taxing.

During the election campaign, in Dover, N.H., on Sept. 12, The ONE promised us, "I can make a firm pledge. Under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes(emphasis added)." To be clear, I am sure most of his claims/promises regarding taxes were meant to be in the realm of payroll taxes but the preceding statement seems a bit more encompassing. It is this statement that I am finding to be quite taxing. It is taxing my psyche, my nerves, my sense of right and wrong and it will be taxing all of us soon.

The First African American President of the United States, a self-proclaimed cheating ex-smoker and an obvious crappy gifter, signed in to law a cigarette tax increase of nearly $0.62 a pack. Smokers encompass all income brackets but I believe statistics show that an inordinate amount of smokers come from lower tax brackets; well below those of the $250,000 a year crowd. The raising of a tax, self-imposed as it is, by nearly 62% sounds like an increase to me. I guess the rational here is you can quit smoking if you want to avoid this tax.

While not everyone smokes, I am pretty sure we are all going to die at some point and you smokers are probably at the front of the list. In the midst of keeping us safe from terrorist attacks for the past eight years, George W Bush's administration was able to sneak in a reduction of the "Death Tax" in 2010 to Zero. This meant when we finally took the express elevator to, hopefully, the top floor to see the ultimate Boss and laugh at the 27 Virgin crowd baking away further south that our assets would go where they rightfully belong; to our heirs (or in the case of Mrs Bald Man to some feline rescue and feeding house). An even sneakier Obama, in a footnote on page 127 of his budget, states the 2010 Estate Tax will remain at 2009 levels. That level, my living and breathing friends is 45%. My Catholic school education taught me that 45 is greater than 0 which means, again, this seems to be a tax increase. This is a tax on the amount of assets you have when you die, not your income. Most greatly affected by this are small business owners and farmers, many of whom have estates valued above the minimum exempted amounts. Now in fairness to The ONE, he did say you won't SEE your taxes go up. You won't, your surviving family members will; you'll be dead.

Finally, many in the country began receiving their bi-weekly tax reduction in the form of a reduction in your withholding. This government directed change in your withholding, aside from seemingly illegal to me, simply gives you more take home pay. It doesn't reduce the amount of tax you owe at the end of the year. Now, there is a credit in your withholding amount that basically is offset by this change. Supposedly it is a wash at tax time. Here's where you need to be very careful. If you are a married person filing jointly and both you and your spouse are working, you need to make sure that both of you have not had your withholding adjusted. You see, the big brains in DC told your employer to change your W-4 to reduce the amount withheld. However, this change does not take in to account your filing status. If both your and your spouse's employer adjusted your take home pay, you are going to find yourself owing the your greedy uncle next April. From experience, the cordial folks at the IRS will probably not be as forgiving to you, Joe Six-Pack, for an underpayment as they are to your average Obama Cabinet nominee who avoids $100,000 in taxes.

We are less than two weeks away from April 15, tax day; a day when the collective blood pressure of our country rises to dangerous levels. If you think it is bad this year, I think you will find the next few years becoming even more taxing.

S2