I am secure in my opinion on security

News today is that soon to be sanctified President-elect Obama is planning to restructure the war on terror that has been successfully run by George Bush since 9-11-01. I define success as the fact that it has been 7 years, 3 months and 27 days since those attacks and the cowards who prey on innocents have yet to launch another successful attack on United States soil.

In picking Leon Panetta, a policy wonk who has about as much business running the CIA as perennial wife loser Drew Peterson does dating, Obama is, as the AP states:

“…sending an unequivocal message that controversial administration policies approving harsh interrogations, waterboarding and extraordinary renditions -- the secret transfer of prisoners to other governments with a history of torture -- and warrantless wiretapping are over, said several officials.”

In addition to watering down our waterboarding tactics The ONE is planning on returning all the “freedom fighters” held in Guantanamo back to the place where they were fighting innocent civilians for their freedom to kill more innocent civilians in the name of Allah.

A driving force in this decision to change our tactics seems to be the new administration’s concern about other countries’ feelings about us. Spain, India and others didn’t approve of the way we were treating terrorists. You know, trying to kill them before they kill us and all. Their tactics seems to working a bit less well than ours.

The thought of being less than vigilant in prosecuting the war on terror leaves me terrified. Our forces have to be successful 100% of the time to prevent tragedy. The suicide bomber needs only succeed once; although repeat performances by them truly are quite rare. Perhaps Shirley McLean knows a few who’ve been successful more than once.

Without waterboarding and warrantless wiretapping of 9-11 planner Khalid Sheik Mohammed we would never have gotten the treasure trove of information this sick individual possessed. It didn’t take long for this hero of the cause to squeal like a little girl and tell us everything he knew. I just wish it could have been on pay per view. Put on right before a Girl’s Gone Wild show and we might avoid another bailout.

Many of the Bush administration’s tactics may be viewed as harsh or uncivil but war is that way. I can offer a few suggestions on changes in security while we are on the subject. First, how about we let people wear their shoes going through airport security? I’d rather take my chances on catching a would be bomber lighting up his Air Jordinians than have to wade through the haze of foot odor. I am thinking it is this cloud that is watering the eyes of the TSA watchers who miss the occasional water bottle. These bombers have a tendency to be so obvious as to even attract the attention of Rappers who, in this case, do the right thing.

And how about doing away with the 3.4 ounce bottles in the quart bag? I can’t even fathom what this accomplishes? A one quart limit is fine. Oprah should adopt that and a one dozen donut limit but I digress. How does breaking this quart total into smaller bottles accomplish anything? I can divide my aftershave Monk-like into 4 exactly equal 3 ounce containers and put them into a quart zip lock baggie. Once the government contractor has given me approval and rerun my wire laden computer bag a few more times until I draw the ire of everyone in line behind me I could easily dump the four containers into one large twelve ounce bottle. So why can’t I just take the damn twelve ounce bottle? I am thinking an investigation into possible kickbacks from ZipLock and Tiny Containers, Inc. to the TSA and Homeland Security might be in order.

I like the fact we have people whose job is to try to out think those who think up ways to do the unthinkable. But really, is the guy who came up with the zip lock baggie idea still around? God forbid he is in charge of anything. Security is not the place for inane, knee jerk or feels good solutions. Nor is it the place for political correctness. Let’s spend more time looking for terrorists and less time collecting Perrier bottles.

S2