A definitive work on the state of current affairs

Every year the folks over at Oxford House take time out from crank calling the guys over at Merriam Webster's to wreak havoc on Scrabble players around the world by changing the words in their dictionary. I suppose there has to be a relation between completeness and portability in determining how many words can and should be included in a printing of a new dictionary edition. At some point the tome will be too large to be effectively handled by a young skull full of mush as he and his classmates attempt to look up the dirty words they heard the older students uttering on the playground during recess.

In reality, modern day publications are more dust collectors residing on a shelf as students look on-line for definitions of the aforementioned swear words. Online they get the video version, proper pronunciation and the ability to translate it into several languages as well. So while I understand the addition of words to properly reflect changing language patterns, colloquialisms and technological and social discoveries I don't understand the elimination of words. Do words lose importance simply because they've fallen out of favor? If thou hast not in a fortnight had occasion to anatomize the descant of the nuncio then per chance such speak shall be cast to the crowner and its passing tang morose for the emptiness it leaves. (Get thee to a Shakespeare translator if you care that much; but really I made it up.)

I don't know that I'd care much that the official reference for the spoken and written word is a compilation that lives and breaths as much at the United States Constitution if not for the fact that, like those trying to change our country's founding document, the keepers of the type setting machine seemingly have an agenda. Recent additions to the Oxford University Press Junior Addition are: Blog, broadband, MP3 player, voicemail, attachment, database, export, chatroom, bullet point, cut and paste and analogue. Other than analogue, who's days are as surely numbered as my non-cable ready television set, most of these words will be relevant for years to come. But with every addition there seems to be some culling required.

To make room for the new words just mentioned, these words were removed: Abbey, aisle, altar, bishop, chapel, christen, disciple, minister, monastery, monk, nun, nunnery, parish, pew, psalm, pulpit, saint, sin, devil and vicar. I may not be able to spot a trend in a stock's price to earning ratio but even I can see there is "something" similar about this list of now obsolete words. Who knows what will be eliminated now that transhumanism, brewski, grab-ass and MILF were added in December.

As one with an agenda of my own, I offer to the folks at Oxford some modern day examples of definitions for their consideration:

Irony: Al Gore's report before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on the "urgent need" to combat global warming being postponed due to a prediction of significant snowfall, sleet and ice accumulations.

Hypocrisy: Multiple examples are provided by Timothy "I didn't read the Turbo Tax instruction manual" Geithner. His most recent is hiring a former Goldman Sachs lobbyist as his Chief of Staff after HE issued new rules Tuesday restricting contacts with lobbyists.

Greed: Passengers who survived, and that would be all of them, the dunking of a US Airways jet into the Hudson river are now saying the $5,000 the airlines gave them isn't enough. As one opportunist said, "I just want to be made hole". Well, the only hole I personally feel this succubus is being begins with ass. I'd like to introduce some of these money grubbers to a Gold Star mother and have them complain about losing a laptop in a plane mishap to someone whose loss and sacrifice can never be made whole.

Incite: As predicted here a few days ago, the Obama administration is throwing out the words Crisis, Panic and referring to unprecedented tough times in an effort to push through their socialization of America (i.e. stimulus package).

Fear: Just follow this link.

Face it folks, without words we would have very little to say to each other. If you are a regular reader of this little blog I'd first like to say, "thank you". I would also hope that you understand when I say of all words to be cognisant of in these times, vigilance should be high on your list. Be vigilant in your watching of elected officials. Be vigilant in your review of popular media. Be vigilant in your protection of personal freedom. For while Oxford's editing of their collection of words can affect the way we speak to one another, the government's editing of the laws of our land and our constitution will affect our lives.

S2