Size Matters

Heard emanating from the large plastic clown head in the parking lot: Static…Hello, welcome to [static] [static] may I take your order?

Me: Yes, I’d like a Really Glad To Be Here meal, 3 Big Daddy Burgers, a jumbo deluxe order of French Fries and a small diet soda please. That is to go please. Ha ha ha.

Clown head: Sir, you are in the drive through all orders there are to go and we’ve heard that joke a million times.

Me: [snicker]. Well I thought it was funny.

Clown head: [static], [static] sir we don’t have small size drinks; just medium, large and ridiculously large sizes. Would you like a medium or large diet soda?

Me: I want the small one.

Clown head: Sir, we don’t have [static] [static] small size drinks. We have medium, large and ridiculously large.

Me: Which of the three sizes is small?

Clown head: None sir, we have medium, large and ridiculously large.

Me: Between the medium, large and ridiculously large sizes, which one has the least amount of soda in the glass?

Clown head: We use cups not glasses sir.

Me: Ok smart [static ][static], which cup holds the least amount of liquid?

Clown head: That would be the medium sir.

Me: Then I would like the medium sized drink.

Clown head: Our medium sized drink or the medium according to your old fashioned idea of sizes, sir, which would be our large?

Me: Oh hell, forget the [static[static] [static] drink altogether. How much is the food.

Clown head: That will be $14.95 please drive around.

5 minutes later:

Heard emanating from the fancy graphic laden speaker stand in the parking lot: Welcome to Gimme Bucks Coffee may I take your order?

Me: Yes, I’d like a medium coffee please. That is to go, too. [Snicker]

Speaker: We don’t have medium sizes sir. We have tall, Grande and Venti.

Me: $%# [static], %^$#, [static], #^&%$ [static].


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