John 3:16-18 (The New Deal Testament)

Back when Bill Clinton was in office and Rush "leader of the Republican party" Limbaugh still had a Television show, the radio turned TV star would put up a picture of the White House covered in graffiti and with obvious signs of a party having been held. The joke was Bubba was spending his late nights with pizza, beer and Monica and Bambi and Jennifer and Amanda and, well...you get the point. The assumption wasn't that they were having Bible reading sessions. Perhaps, after three terms, it is time to roll away the rock and resurrect that image.

Word has it Michelle and Barrie are cutting a few rugs in their new digs. From Super Bowl parties with The ONE handing out cookies to concerts and conga lines, the White House is turning in to a frat house and the events seem to have Mass appeal.

Like flying on Air Force One, I don't begrudge the First African American president having a bit of fun while in office but I can only think if George Bush had done anything remotely like this, the media would have Crucified him. They would have accused GW43 of reckless behavior. Instead, Obama is seen as being "one of us".

A few weeks ago, after spending approximately 40 daylight hours and 40 nighttime hours wandering around the White House, the first couple made a quick exodus to save their sanity. Next it was off to Chicago for a weekend getaway. Last night, the President joined the crowd on the mount to watch the Bulls and Wizards basketball game. I can only imagine him feeding the entire crowd with five hot dogs and a six pack.

Every time I see The ONE fiddling around "being a regular guy" while the stock market plummets I can't help but thinking of Nero fiddling while Rome burned. I am sure the president's handlers have told him that to lessen the comparisons of him to the Savior he must appear to be your average 40 something 9-5 guy. The reality is, while he is no Savior of any kind, the President of the United States is not a regular person with a regular job. I don't want to see the most powerful man in the world sitting court side having a Sam Adams as it will make me wonder if he will be home in time to answer Hillary's famed 3 AM phone call when it comes.

I've commented before in this blog on how I see a much different work ethic in this President than in one's past. From the lack of a Suit Jacket in the tropical Oval Office to ending arguments with "I won", their remains the sin of Audacity (I hope he regrets that book title someday) about the man and a smugness that no amount of regular Joe the Plumber activity can absolve him of.

If the first 100 days of a Presidency is a Baptism by fire I pray Obama is up to the task. I fear the lots of socialism being cast in the form of stimulus and budget will damn us to a hell full of woe. The stock market closed below 7,000 today. Perhaps it is time to remove the air of the ordinary and ascend to the role of committed leader. Then again, where he is leading us may not be where we want to go.

S2

4 out of 5 experts agree that 4 out of 5 experts are experts

I've decided that I am going to be an expert. I haven't yet decided at what I am going to be one but it doesn't seem like it will be too hard to become one once I finally do decide. Thanks to internet chats and blogs, talk radio and 24 hour news channels there seems to be no shortage of experts. It's a cottage industry and in recent years experts are sprouting up faster than bachelors on a Viagra factory tour. You can't toss out a newspaper wrapped fish without one showing up before garbage day to proffer an opinion on the now odorous headline. In fact, I'll bet there are experts at finding experts for each of the media mentioned above. But don't worry, if you aren't sought out, your expertise can be self-proclaimed.

You too can be an expert. Look at some of the more recent experts of the day in the media and you'll see that immediate experience is of equal if not more value than long term experience, education or research. By the criteria of CNN, Fox News and MSNBC I am an expert in crime because my MP3 player was stolen from my hotel room this week and my flatulent dog knows as much about poison gas as Iraq's Dr. Death.

Ask a presidential candidate an innocent question about wealth redistribution and you'll be the whipping boy of just about every media outlet in the country. One month later instead of fixing a leaky faucet you'll be jetting off to the war zone of the Middle East as a reporter because you're an expert on media bias. The only prize likely to be awarded this war correspondent is a P U litzer. Hello America, this is common sense calling. Edward R. Murrow must be turning over in his grave. Good night and good luck to us all.

Comely conservative siren Ann Coulter has for years pointed out the absurd authority ascribed to the 9-11 widows. I am truly sorry for the losses experienced by families and friends from the horrific acts of Jihadist cowardice back in 2001. But losing a loved one to a terrorist act makes you no more an expert at terrorism than being flipped the bird by angry taxi driver makes you an expert at international relations.

Finally, if I see one more survivor from yesterday's plane dunking in the Hudson River on TV telling folks how they helped lead everyone to safety I am going to scream. By my current count there were 148 leaders on the plane and two followers in that crash. Good on the passengers for working together and not panicking, but again, are they now experts at airplane engine failure and evacuation and rescue techniques? Their full body baptisms in the frigid river has them speaking in forked tongues to whatever camera happens to be pointing in their general direction.

In four days the leader of the free world will be sworn in. Our leader, our political expert is 47 years of polish and style and very little substance. One speech in Boston created a leader. One speech does not an expert make.

Hey, maybe that is my expertise; taking any topic and turning it in to a potential criticism of PEBO!!!

The Power of Positive Drinking

I guess things suck right now. I don’t say this lightly. I got my information directly from “the experts” at “the source”. The source isn’t the Labor Department and it’s “let’s not rush to any judgment as to whether we are in a recession” analysts. It isn’t the Congress with representatives like Barney “Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are solid six months before we have to give them billions in bailout dollars” Frank or the Senate and guys like Chris “I didn’t get any special favors other than a sweet mortgage deal” Dodd. It isn’t even the all powerful United Nations.

“The Source” is the collective rum soaked brains of the Joes the Plumbers, Jims the Mechanics and Chads the Hairdressers down at the local bar. For you see in these vinyl covered, beer stained and matchbook balanced barstools sit people who have the answers to all the world’s problems. From how Penn State could have avoided blowing their national championship hopes in Iowa to determining if John F Kennedy is still alive and living with Elvis in a northern Michigan retirement home, these guys have the answers and are not afraid to share their opinions with you. They are also the guys who get drunk enough to fix the things they have control over.

The tone at the tavern has been a bit depressing lately. After the weekly Ginger or Maryanne discussion, the talk turns to how bad the market is, should the Big 3 be left to go bankrupt and how many rounds of ammunition is appropriate for a family of five where the teenage girl can shoot two handed. There seems to be no shortage of media inspired tales of woe and impending doom, and they’ve reach the realm of Cliff and Norm.

But get this: I know when the recession is going to end and I can predict to the day when the turnaround is going to start. I am not claiming psychic power. I don’t talk to the dead and, for the record, neither does Television’s fake spiritualist John Edward. He is a sham, a crook, a fraud and should be exposed as a flim-flam artist. Nor do I channel dead little girls to win multi-million dollar lawsuits like former presidential candidate John “my hair is perfect” Edwards. What is it with the name John Edward(s)? But, surprise, I’ve digressed.



The secret to my being able to predict when the economy will begin to turn around lies in my unwavering belief in the complete and utter bias of the major media in the United States and their desire to do everything in their power to have Barack Obama’s Presidency be a success. You don’t have to be Carnac the Magnificent to answer this question. The recession is going to end on January 20th, 2009 about 5 minutes after The One is sworn in. The skies will clear, the entranced mass in attendance will cheer and the media will declare the future so bright you will have to wear rose colored shades. Until then, expect stories of failure, despair and pink eye.

This may be a gross oversimplification of major economic issues and in conflict with the opinions of other conservative columnists but I am confident in my premonition and that the change in attitude by the media will have an effect. For while the tree hugging, Birkenstock wearing and yoga going aging hippies are whacked on almost every belief they have, they seem to have hit the nail on the Habitat for Humanity’s head in espousing the “Power of Positive Thinking”. It works.

Happiness is contagious. That’s why I usually sit on the side of the bar where the jolly drunks are. So too is a positive attitude. In between political thrillers I force myself to read a business book or a biography of someone who had had success in life. The constant in nearly every one of these success stories is attitude and a belief in the ability to succeed.

How can we, as a nation, hope to turnaround the slide to depression that we find ourselves on when all we hear is how bad the economy is, how far stocks are going to fall or how bad the new James Bond movie is? Phenomenally successful gadfly Rush Limbaugh treats recessions very effectively; he refuses to participate in them.

The swing from near death to once again a superstar for Britney “thank God for synthesized voice recordings” Spears shows the power of positive press and the value of a good PR person. Our economy could use a few cheerleaders too. Do we have problems? Of course we do. The engine of this great nation may be misfiring and in need of a tune up but the rest of the car is in good shape. The media, come January, will tell us to trust in our mechanic. I suggest a second opinion but I also suggest you keep driving.

Down at the tavern there are plenty of solutions being presented for just about any problem you can imagine. Not all of them are winners but how about this for a game plan: Go to the store, buy some beer, head over to a friend’s house and share with them the drink and some good news. Even if the only good news you have to share is that you’ve brought beer, at least you’ll be striking the right tone and recessions are good for your health.

S2