Gotta be the shoes

In every organization there seems to be someone in a position of above average authority who spends his/her time making up things for people to do in order to justify their existence within the company. You can probably picture this person wherever it is that you work. I just hope it isn't you!

There has to be a herd of these organizational chart bloating hippos spewing CO2 into the offices of Homeland Security and the TSA. It is no secret I possess a Big Gulp size disdain for many of the so-called security hoops we are forced to jump through like Tu Tu clad Chihuahuas on an episode of America's Stupidest Videos. Most of them make no sense. I defy anyone to tell me "you just don't understand the whole picture or understand the real security measure". To that I call bull.

Four 3 ounce bottles of a liquid in a one quart bag is equal to twelve ounces of that liquid. Let me carry a damn water bottle!

I showed my driver's license and boarding pass to the bored looking personality devoid (except in Utah, they seem to be nicer there) watchdog not more that 15 yards away from the metal detector. Why is it I have to show it to the guy on the leeward side of the detector?

I wrote a few weeks ago about losing my 1 inch pen knife but that my 4 inch scissors went through uncontested. I'll bet I could even run around with them without drawing too much attention.

Today, at the Ontario, California airport, my well honed security line procedure was rudely interrupted by the latest nonsense sent forth from the Cathedral of Knowledge in our nation's capital. After showing my license, I put it away, get to the moving baggage way through the security tunnel of love and I grab two bins. Bin one gets my laptop, because nothing else can go in with it. Bin two is occupied by my projector and belt. My shoes come off and go in the carry on sleeve recently vacated by my projector and all goes off to be violated by Xray beams in the dark little box while a TSA voyeur looks for anything that looks like it might be dangerous...or fun.

I can complete all that faster than most parents can fold up the damn stroller they think they need to carry on the plane.

Today I was informed that a NEW procedure has been in place and now shoes must go directly on the moving belt. This really is no big deal. I put my shoes on the belt and watched them move along like the Cross Trainers of some defeated exerciser standing still on his treadmill. What irks me about this is the complete and utter stupidity of this change.

I am skeptical of the security advantage of taking our shoes off in the first place but now isolating them even more is ridiculous. I take the shoes off my feet and put them beside my belt on the moving belt while the second set of shoes I brought with me remain snug in my carry on bag not more than one foot behind them. This helps how?

I comply with these procedures only because of my desire to get from one place to another but if the TSA feels this instills anyone with a sense of confidence or security, they are deluded. The exact opposite is true. Most terrorists convey an image of more bravado (really cowardice but that is a different topic) than brains but I wonder if the same is true of those trying to catch them in the hallowed halls of Homeland Security.

Until the day comes when common sense returns, I will just make sure I wear socks without holes in them.