Lefties, Lefties everywhere and they are driving me to drink.

I promised myself in starting the rant fest that is this blog that I’d always make an attempt to be humorous. The operative word is attempt. Most of today I’ve been in a mood more suited to singing a dirge while driving a little girl to euthanize a litter of kittens on her birthday than to wax on with Mr. Miyagi like quips about the important issues of the day. Remember folks, spay and neuter!

There really isn’t that much going on that is funny politically, socially, economically or environmentally; especially environmentally. Remember the poor Polar bears trapped on the ice because the polar caps are melting?

I hope you can continue reading through the tears I am sure are now filling your eyes. I just hope they are tears of laughter as you think about the morons who actually feel the bears shown are in any peril. Trust me, the cuddly and cute overgrown seal stuffed carnivores are plenty healthy enough to use a group of granola fed vegetarian Earth Firsters as their own personal salad bar given the first opportunity. They aren’t in danger.

The same can’t be said for a group of Narwhal whales in the Canadian Arctic. I guess they believed the global warming alarmists who said the world’s ice was going to soon be gone forever and didn’t make plans to join the Blue Hair migration heading from Long Island to the Villages for the winter and are now so trapped by frozen Dihydrogen Monoxide (see below) that they wouldn’t be able to make the flight even if they had tickets. Unfortunately for these blubbery convicts, they are in danger.

The millions of geniuses who brought Hope to the White House have helped get people in charge who are willing to do something about the global warming crisis. Just what they will do I don’t know but I am sure it will be something grand. I can only hope the smarter than the average Polar Bear officials check out this wonderful, politically incorrect view of the incontrovertible, universally accepted reality of climate change before they do too much. It seems the Brits are getting it. God save the Queen’s winter wardrobe.

I’ll be skiing on natural snow this weekend, next weekend and probably every weekend from now through spring. I might take a break for the inauguration of Mount Rushmore’s next honoree. I am sure I won’t be the only one enjoying a free soda while I wait for the coming free lunch this administration is sure to offer. I might even try to find a new friend to watch it with now that the matchmaking bigots online will let me post a proper picture and a paragraph.

I best enjoy this gravitational powered slide downhill as much as possible this year. For while last year was a record one for snowfall in Utah and much of the west, there is no guarantee that this isn’t the year when global warming finally wins and the mountains remain barren of the frozen water crystals I love so well. If mother nature doesn’t rain her tears upon the ski resorts, modern technology enables the evil recreational capitalists who run the areas to take advantage of the savings from more efficient toilets and make their own. Well, at least until they ban water!

Ban water you say? Surely Shirley you aren’t serious. Who could possibly make an argument to ban water that would ever hold, umm, water? The idea isn’t as far fetched as you’d think. Your typical leftist, environmentalist type is more gullible than a Congressman who believes the Big Three CEOs give a rat’s ass that he thinks their corporate jets are excessive.

Don’t take my word for it. Penn and Teller prove the point brilliantly!



There are problems galore and times may be tough but, face it, sometimes you’ve just got to laugh.

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