Let's hope he leads better tomorrow

Taking issue with Barack Obama on his inauguration day would be akin to dissing the bride at a wedding. Unlike the protesters and pundits who sounded like scorned ex's outside a reception hall four years ago, I am happy to see Republicans letting The ONE bask in his glory.

Come tomorrow the gloves will be back off. I will say that watching the President and First Lady dance at each of balls today I can see he got his rhythm from his white mother. The man really can't dance.

For the country's sake, let's hope his leadership is better in the boardroom than the ballroom. I think his problem was common sense told him he had to move right but his instincts kept pulling him to the left.

The Bums will come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar.

Four years ago the secret service and Washington DC were bracing themselves against numerous protests and demonstrations during the inauguration of George W. Bush. This year, the love in the air is thicker than the back hair on your average Italian tourist at the beach and the press coverage will be fuller than the mustache of said tourist's wife.

The lack of planned protests hasn't calmed the fears of the Secret Service and conservative groups are being watched closer than the bums of cute Swedish girls tanning themselves on the sand. It is also yet another example of how those on the right seem to "go along to get along" and it is the left that flies off the handle. The only group planning a protest is the nut job, whacked out, needs to be slapped upside their head Westboro Baptist Church. Conservative these freaks are not. Neither are neo-NAZIs but they too are receiving scrutiny even though they've kept most of their comments under their sheets. Perennial protesters, and equally nutty, Code Pink will be hoisting signs but theirs are celebratory in design.

Everything that can possibly be done to ensure the day is perfect for the coronation of PEBO is being done. Even an economy that is floundering like a fat guy trying to don a wetsuit won't stop this party. DC police have posted No Prostitution signs. I am sure this effort will guarantee illegal activity of the carnal variety will cease. I've heard rumor that Congressman, upon seeing these signs, thought an early recess of government was called and went home. The homeless are being rounded up by police and given one way bus rides to the outskirts of town faster than mothers grab their young sons and pull them away from fellow sun worshipers exercising a clothing optional option. After all, we can't have the inauguration visitors seeing hookers and bums along the parade route. That year round joy is reserved for the locals. It will be hard enough on those coming to the festivities to subject them to the dregs of society that have washed up on the shores of the Potomac. The only hitch in the plan is that Mother Nature is not cooperating as our warming globe is forecast to receive snow.

I feel certain only the most positive of images of the day will make it to the airwaves this Tuesday. We are entering another stage of image over substance and those of us sensitive to the rash of idiocy this surely will cause need to protect ourselves just like the fair skinned family slathers on the sun screen and dons dark glasses against the harsh sun of summer. Our glasses will not contain the rose colored optics of the true believers. They are the prescription we need to keep an eye on those in charge and be ever vigilant so that the freedoms our forefathers realized were guaranteed by our creator are not washed away like the footprints in the sand during a high tide. For surely there will be a new tide soon.

The media is already pitching a tent for Obama, what more can they do?

Media coverage of the President-elect reads more like a Harlequin Romance novel than actual reporting. From the use of a photo of this bare-chested hunk on the cover through breathless accounts of his touch the similarities are astounding. I actually find this a quite nice diversion from the Savior-like treatment of The ONE immediately following the election. There still remains one Christ like comparison: there is no room at the in for the family.

Yes, The ONE is suffering from his own success. Hotel rooms in the nation’s capitol sold out faster than topless photos of Princess Leia at a Star Wars convention in anticipation of the coronation of our Savior in Chief. So booked are they that the Obamas can’t find a room and they’ve asked President Bush to set aside precedent and allow them to move in to Blair House, the presidential guest quarters, ahead of the inauguration. Unfortunately Blair House too is booked until the 15th. In Jabba the Hut like diplomacy, GW offered them room at a nearby military base. Of course, slumming with the troops didn’t seem to cozy for the soon to be First Family. Especially after the fine accommodations they had in Hawaii.

You would think there would be a Democratic supporter or two in the area that might have a spare bedroom or two. If Oprah gets approved for her loan perhaps she’ll be able to host.

The one question I don’t think I’ve heard anyone ask is this, “Didn’t Senator Obama have an apartment in Washington to use while he supposedly worked there?” I doubt the lease is up on that. If not, how about the luxurious Boeing 757. I seem to recall it was outfitted with at least a porta-potty.

UPDATE: I guess I was a day early in writing this one. Here is an update as of today. I guess we can rest easy as there really is room at the inn.

S2

It's all about the Big O

It is 3:37 am in chilly Denver, Colorado and I have been tossing and turning all night long. I just can’t quit wondering, “What’s eating Oprah?” I mean, we know what she’s been eating; everything! Its just the Queen of all the media for people who don’t watch real media seems a bit upset lately and I can’t understand why. Her boy Barack “Illinois has a governor?” Obama won and she will be in Washington hosting her show for his inauguration. I am sure BHO will see fit she gets a ticket for any ball she’d like to attend and it’s not like she can’t afford to have her gown for the evening let out a bit.

Things seem to have settled down at her Taj Mahal of a school in Johannesburg. The adage “no news is good news” is virtually guaranteed when nobody at the place has access to email or cell phones. No news also means the head mistress there was never charged with doing anything other than being strict and disappointing Oprah.

And she seems to be scraping by in these tough financial times. She’ll be coming in to her OWN in a few years and, if a half-black man can be elected President, who knows what Oprah will accomplish now that she has been unleashed!

So why does the Queen need to whine about Sarah “I am back within spitting view of Russia” Palin going on other shows to give interviews? It isn’t like she didn’t have the chance to interview her back when she was thin Oprah. You know, back when it would have mattered like when she interviewed Barack Obama. Back when she didn’t want to use her show as a political forum. So now, fat Oprah is lamenting that La Governess Bonita went elsewhere to talk about herself. I guess it is Oprah’s turn to get schooled that there are consequences to your actions.

Of course Ms Winfrey’s mind probably began to be troubled back in January when she endorsed The ONE. The comments section of her website lit up more brightly than the National Christmas tree after Nancy "deer in the headlights" Pelosi finally figured out how to turn the switch with comments berating her for abandoning Hillary in her time of need. My guess is these malcontents were just frustrated meat eaters seeking to extract a pound of flesh when they could.



I accidently picked up Mrs. Bald Man’s copy of O magazine in the bathroom a few months ago. I figured since I was going to be there for a while I might as well see what all the fuss was about. A half hour later I emerged dreaming of Tom Cruise, teary eyed with a new cookie recipe that I had to bake immediately. I realize now I just needed the food to comfort my unease with my body issues. I wish I'd had a shoulder to cry on.

My posts, like our initial invasion in Iraq, don’t usually come with an exit strategy. I’m not sure why I even care that Oprah is now fat and upset she can’t talk to the governor of a state that isn’t even on the route past fly over country. I guess it just irks me to see yet another narcissistic television star put herself out there and not expect a backlash. It is no Secret the Queen’s latest binge was supposedly brought on by being diagnosed with thyroid problems. Like me and my resolution to my body issue psychosis, brought on by reading O to start with, she turned to food. In the coming months we’ll all be subject to her brave battle back to thinness through personal trainers, personal chefs and couch jumping with Tom Cruise.

I do wish her a healthy recovery from fat. If only fat Elvis has been so brave we might still have the King around. But I think the Big O's constant battle with the Big O of being Overweight is detrimental to the many people who truly struggle to maintain healthy weight. Regular folk who will be forced to watch the coronation of The ONE at home on the couch with a bag of Cheesy Poofs and the cat on their lap and not being chauffeured around from ball to ball chatting about global warming. I just hope this isn’t the start of the Oprah’s School Girl diet craze.

S2

It's my party and I'll whine if i want to

Is it me or does the media following the current holder of the Office of President-elect around remind you of those Verizon commercials with that crowd of people always showing up? Yep, they are a group of sycophants sharing a collective vision for our country.

It will only get worse come the inauguration. The January 20th party, in addition to being the start of the recovery, is on track to be one hell of a partaayyy. In recent weeks the media has held details of the expenditures closer to the vest than a paranoid internet poker player who covers his monitor “just in case”. I guess the fourth estate is gambling nobody will notice their hypocrisy in how they are covering BHO’s big bash versus how they covered GWB’s. What a difference four years can make in attitude.

Bars are being allowed to stay open all night, they are looking for parking for 10,000 charter buses and hotels are booked as far away as Philadelphia. 1300 groups have applied to march. Wow. It is exciting to see this enthusiasm and could be easy to get caught up in. But where is the questioning of the appropriateness of these expenses like there was when Dubya was holding his soiree? I guess since the media is smack dab in the center of this party with lampshades on their heads, they don’t realize how loud it has gotten. In fact, they can't wait for it to get started!

Websites on the left that I refuse to mention per chance you’d go there and give them the traffic are celebrating that their tickets have arrived for the inaugural ball. These same sites had posts lamenting how many spotted owls could have been saved or tsunamis prevented for the millions spent on Bush’s party. I actually agree that these inaugurations have become far too extravagant. But I am not going to start bitching about it now just because my guy lost.

When Ronald “please let there be such a thing a reincarnation” Reagan took the oath of office in 1981 he stated "Government is not the solution to our problem. Government is the problem."

I am afraid our problems are just starting. Party on!

S2