Mel Brook's brilliant "History Of The World, Part 1" movie contained a vignette where he portrayed King Louis at the start of the French Revolution. As he royally stepped through a series of excesses from playing chess with live people as the pieces to overflowing a Harvey Korman held, "wait for the shake", piss bucket Brooks exemplified perfectly how out of touch the elite can be. Brooks even gave Louie his own catch phrase, "Its good to be the King" that was usually uttered during a rutting motion behind the closest bustle bound maiden.
The Queen of all Media gave the commencement speech at Duke University on Sunday where she, most likely unwittingly, paraphrased Brook's characterization of the beheaded Frenchman saying, "It's great to have a private jet"! She quickly followed what would normally be seen as a let them eat cake utterance with the advice that you've not completed the circle of success until you have helped someone reach a higher place. Easy for her to say.
I, in no way, begrudge Ms. Winfrey her success. Rather, I herald it. I would love to emulate it but that doesn't seem likely. Howie has cornered the television market for extremely attractive, funny and eloquent bald headed men and Montel is waiting in the wings for a comeback so that ship has sailed.
What irks me is that, in describing her financial, rather than physical, largess, Oprah encourages up and comers to give away their hard earned gains to others. Charity is fine and we should give a hand up where possible but too often this advice is translated into a directive to provide a hand out. More people will be helped through success and entrepreneurship providing jobs and opportunity than will ever be helped through the redistribution of wealth by government or soup kitchen inspired hope. Oprah herself has provided livelihoods for hundreds on her staff and I am sure several of her staffs hoods were very lively. In fairness, she does walk the walk and is quite philanthropic but giving a car to everyone in her studio audience pales when compared to providing a secure job with a 401K and possible stock option.
Today's college graduate has been spoon fed a diet of social awareness and citizen of the world pablum from his earliest days of napping in a circle in kindergarten to avoid anyone being single out as first in line. What they need to hear as they embark on their road to retirement is how to weather the storms of an increasingly unstable and over regulated business environment to make for themselves an oasis of success. They don't need to hear how any portion of their work is the property of someone else.
I've one other small complaint about Ms. Winfrey's private plane remark. Jetting off from Chicago for a weekend at her Southern California home in Gulfstream comfort is fine so long as you don't lecture the rest of us about our carbon footprints. It seems that when it comes to "walking this walk", she is doing so at 30,000 feet.
S2
Showing posts with label Oprah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oprah. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
It's all about the Big O
It is 3:37 am in chilly Denver, Colorado and I have been tossing and turning all night long. I just can’t quit wondering, “What’s eating Oprah?” I mean, we know what she’s been eating; everything! Its just the Queen of all the media for people who don’t watch real media seems a bit upset lately and I can’t understand why. Her boy Barack “Illinois has a governor?” Obama won and she will be in Washington hosting her show for his inauguration. I am sure BHO will see fit she gets a ticket for any ball she’d like to attend and it’s not like she can’t afford to have her gown for the evening let out a bit.
Things seem to have settled down at her Taj Mahal of a school in Johannesburg. The adage “no news is good news” is virtually guaranteed when nobody at the place has access to email or cell phones. No news also means the head mistress there was never charged with doing anything other than being strict and disappointing Oprah.
And she seems to be scraping by in these tough financial times. She’ll be coming in to her OWN in a few years and, if a half-black man can be elected President, who knows what Oprah will accomplish now that she has been unleashed!
So why does the Queen need to whine about Sarah “I am back within spitting view of Russia” Palin going on other shows to give interviews? It isn’t like she didn’t have the chance to interview her back when she was thin Oprah. You know, back when it would have mattered like when she interviewed Barack Obama. Back when she didn’t want to use her show as a political forum. So now, fat Oprah is lamenting that La Governess Bonita went elsewhere to talk about herself. I guess it is Oprah’s turn to get schooled that there are consequences to your actions.
Of course Ms Winfrey’s mind probably began to be troubled back in January when she endorsed The ONE. The comments section of her website lit up more brightly than the National Christmas tree after Nancy "deer in the headlights" Pelosi finally figured out how to turn the switch with comments berating her for abandoning Hillary in her time of need. My guess is these malcontents were just frustrated meat eaters seeking to extract a pound of flesh when they could.
I accidently picked up Mrs. Bald Man’s copy of O magazine in the bathroom a few months ago. I figured since I was going to be there for a while I might as well see what all the fuss was about. A half hour later I emerged dreaming of Tom Cruise, teary eyed with a new cookie recipe that I had to bake immediately. I realize now I just needed the food to comfort my unease with my body issues. I wish I'd had a shoulder to cry on.
My posts, like our initial invasion in Iraq, don’t usually come with an exit strategy. I’m not sure why I even care that Oprah is now fat and upset she can’t talk to the governor of a state that isn’t even on the route past fly over country. I guess it just irks me to see yet another narcissistic television star put herself out there and not expect a backlash. It is no Secret the Queen’s latest binge was supposedly brought on by being diagnosed with thyroid problems. Like me and my resolution to my body issue psychosis, brought on by reading O to start with, she turned to food. In the coming months we’ll all be subject to her brave battle back to thinness through personal trainers, personal chefs and couch jumping with Tom Cruise.
I do wish her a healthy recovery from fat. If only fat Elvis has been so brave we might still have the King around. But I think the Big O's constant battle with the Big O of being Overweight is detrimental to the many people who truly struggle to maintain healthy weight. Regular folk who will be forced to watch the coronation of The ONE at home on the couch with a bag of Cheesy Poofs and the cat on their lap and not being chauffeured around from ball to ball chatting about global warming. I just hope this isn’t the start of the Oprah’s School Girl diet craze.
S2
Things seem to have settled down at her Taj Mahal of a school in Johannesburg. The adage “no news is good news” is virtually guaranteed when nobody at the place has access to email or cell phones. No news also means the head mistress there was never charged with doing anything other than being strict and disappointing Oprah.
And she seems to be scraping by in these tough financial times. She’ll be coming in to her OWN in a few years and, if a half-black man can be elected President, who knows what Oprah will accomplish now that she has been unleashed!
So why does the Queen need to whine about Sarah “I am back within spitting view of Russia” Palin going on other shows to give interviews? It isn’t like she didn’t have the chance to interview her back when she was thin Oprah. You know, back when it would have mattered like when she interviewed Barack Obama. Back when she didn’t want to use her show as a political forum. So now, fat Oprah is lamenting that La Governess Bonita went elsewhere to talk about herself. I guess it is Oprah’s turn to get schooled that there are consequences to your actions.
Of course Ms Winfrey’s mind probably began to be troubled back in January when she endorsed The ONE. The comments section of her website lit up more brightly than the National Christmas tree after Nancy "deer in the headlights" Pelosi finally figured out how to turn the switch with comments berating her for abandoning Hillary in her time of need. My guess is these malcontents were just frustrated meat eaters seeking to extract a pound of flesh when they could.
I accidently picked up Mrs. Bald Man’s copy of O magazine in the bathroom a few months ago. I figured since I was going to be there for a while I might as well see what all the fuss was about. A half hour later I emerged dreaming of Tom Cruise, teary eyed with a new cookie recipe that I had to bake immediately. I realize now I just needed the food to comfort my unease with my body issues. I wish I'd had a shoulder to cry on.
My posts, like our initial invasion in Iraq, don’t usually come with an exit strategy. I’m not sure why I even care that Oprah is now fat and upset she can’t talk to the governor of a state that isn’t even on the route past fly over country. I guess it just irks me to see yet another narcissistic television star put herself out there and not expect a backlash. It is no Secret the Queen’s latest binge was supposedly brought on by being diagnosed with thyroid problems. Like me and my resolution to my body issue psychosis, brought on by reading O to start with, she turned to food. In the coming months we’ll all be subject to her brave battle back to thinness through personal trainers, personal chefs and couch jumping with Tom Cruise.
I do wish her a healthy recovery from fat. If only fat Elvis has been so brave we might still have the King around. But I think the Big O's constant battle with the Big O of being Overweight is detrimental to the many people who truly struggle to maintain healthy weight. Regular folk who will be forced to watch the coronation of The ONE at home on the couch with a bag of Cheesy Poofs and the cat on their lap and not being chauffeured around from ball to ball chatting about global warming. I just hope this isn’t the start of the Oprah’s School Girl diet craze.
S2
Monday, December 1, 2008
I am ready for my close up Mr. Terrorist
News flash: Most of reality television sucks.
I know, call me Mr. Obvious.
News flash II: People still watch this tripe!
Its rise in popularity was all but destined given the desire for 15 minutes of Andy Warholian fame that many people in this country have. It isn’t even limited to the porous northern and southern borders that the United Sates protects as effectively as sun block level 2 on a Mexican Beach in August. It is a world wide problem.
Shows like Big Brother, Temptation Island, Survivor and the Big Kahuna American Idol take mostly no talent, no class and no clue narcissists and thrust them on the American populace and into instant and thankfully short-lived fame. I may get voted off the island for saying so but most of the winners of American Idol have no more talent than can be seen at Karaoke night in a dozen bars across town on a Friday night; although the beer in my living room is a lot cheaper.
Each season these supposedly unscripted bits of entertainment brilliance seem to try to showcase more bizarre, more extreme and more salacious people and events to hold our attention rapt in voyeuristic anticipation. The writers are like my dog after the postman drops a letter through the mail slot; they want to see just how far they can push the envelope. Unfortunately, they are doing it with about as much care and forethought to consequence as my Chow Lab mix takes with each new issue of People Magazine. It wasn’t until I saw a similar issue at the dentist’s office that I realized Nicole Kidman doesn’t always have drool on her face…and that Rosy O’Donnell does.
There have been articles, books and even movies predicting that reality shows will continue to devolve until the science fiction world of televised game show executions that currently exist only in the mind of Richard “can I call you Steven” Bachman become all too real. Unfortunately these shows are cash cows and they, like the extra fee for your checked baggage that was to offset the no longer outrageous fuel costs for airlines, won’t be going away anytime soon.
The same can’t be said of the news division. The networks need a way to pay for these cash…umm…what is the opposite of cow? The networks need to pay for these cash leeches (that is right in so many ways) that are the nightly newscasts. It is only recently that the networks began looking to news as a potential profit center. The networks pay huge sums of money to keep the likes of Katie perky and these also supposedly unscripted, unmanufactured and, really now, unbiased shows on the air.
News programs are not immune to sliding a few paper letter containers around either. I heard rumor that Brian Williams has “If it bleeds, it leads” tattooed on his right buttock. If it involves tragedy, no story is out of bounds.
It is at the intersection where unfeeling and uncaring reporters meet unthinking and “no longer wanting to be” unknowns where the traffic light of reason has burnt out. The most recent execution spree by the “religion of peace” adherents in India is a perfect example.
Two stories, one with an unsurprising tragic end have come to light.
The Shaws are a South Wales, UK couple who were trapped in one of the hotels. Their tale of danger is punctuated with this quote from the now media shy Mrs.
Hey lady, how about being careful who you talk to?
Sadly, the second story does have a tragic ending. A British business man, shortly after talking to the BBC was texting his son when suddenly the texts stopped. His body was later recovered.
While I feel for the family of Mr. Liveras I can’t help but wonder what the hell he was thinking. Have we come to a point where personal safety takes a back seat to cable TV exposure? How soon will it be until other survivors of this ungodly in the name of Allah act begin making the rounds to Oprah, Tyra, Ellen and Larry? If I were in that same situation, I would like to think that I’d be spending my time trying to figure out how to introduce as many of the cowardly gunmen to their promised stable of virgin camels in as painful a way as possible. If I needed to reach out and text someone, it would be to a S.W.A.T. sniper with directions to the closest Jihadist’s head along with wind speed and elevation and not to an info babe at CNN or the BBC!
As evidenced in India, fame can be fleeting. If you are going to stick your head out for no other reason than to get noticed, some less than human may just cut it off. If you feel the need to seek fame, make the reason for that fame worthwhile. If you do that, soon those being noticed will have a noticeably better affect on everyone.
S2
I know, call me Mr. Obvious.
News flash II: People still watch this tripe!
Its rise in popularity was all but destined given the desire for 15 minutes of Andy Warholian fame that many people in this country have. It isn’t even limited to the porous northern and southern borders that the United Sates protects as effectively as sun block level 2 on a Mexican Beach in August. It is a world wide problem.
Shows like Big Brother, Temptation Island, Survivor and the Big Kahuna American Idol take mostly no talent, no class and no clue narcissists and thrust them on the American populace and into instant and thankfully short-lived fame. I may get voted off the island for saying so but most of the winners of American Idol have no more talent than can be seen at Karaoke night in a dozen bars across town on a Friday night; although the beer in my living room is a lot cheaper.
Each season these supposedly unscripted bits of entertainment brilliance seem to try to showcase more bizarre, more extreme and more salacious people and events to hold our attention rapt in voyeuristic anticipation. The writers are like my dog after the postman drops a letter through the mail slot; they want to see just how far they can push the envelope. Unfortunately, they are doing it with about as much care and forethought to consequence as my Chow Lab mix takes with each new issue of People Magazine. It wasn’t until I saw a similar issue at the dentist’s office that I realized Nicole Kidman doesn’t always have drool on her face…and that Rosy O’Donnell does.
There have been articles, books and even movies predicting that reality shows will continue to devolve until the science fiction world of televised game show executions that currently exist only in the mind of Richard “can I call you Steven” Bachman become all too real. Unfortunately these shows are cash cows and they, like the extra fee for your checked baggage that was to offset the no longer outrageous fuel costs for airlines, won’t be going away anytime soon.
The same can’t be said of the news division. The networks need a way to pay for these cash…umm…what is the opposite of cow? The networks need to pay for these cash leeches (that is right in so many ways) that are the nightly newscasts. It is only recently that the networks began looking to news as a potential profit center. The networks pay huge sums of money to keep the likes of Katie perky and these also supposedly unscripted, unmanufactured and, really now, unbiased shows on the air.
News programs are not immune to sliding a few paper letter containers around either. I heard rumor that Brian Williams has “If it bleeds, it leads” tattooed on his right buttock. If it involves tragedy, no story is out of bounds.
It is at the intersection where unfeeling and uncaring reporters meet unthinking and “no longer wanting to be” unknowns where the traffic light of reason has burnt out. The most recent execution spree by the “religion of peace” adherents in India is a perfect example.
Two stories, one with an unsurprising tragic end have come to light.
The Shaws are a South Wales, UK couple who were trapped in one of the hotels. Their tale of danger is punctuated with this quote from the now media shy Mrs.
“The terrorists were watching CNN and they came down from where they were in a lift after hearing about us on television. For that reason I would appeal to the media to be very careful about what they broadcast.”
Hey lady, how about being careful who you talk to?
Sadly, the second story does have a tragic ending. A British business man, shortly after talking to the BBC was texting his son when suddenly the texts stopped. His body was later recovered.
While I feel for the family of Mr. Liveras I can’t help but wonder what the hell he was thinking. Have we come to a point where personal safety takes a back seat to cable TV exposure? How soon will it be until other survivors of this ungodly in the name of Allah act begin making the rounds to Oprah, Tyra, Ellen and Larry? If I were in that same situation, I would like to think that I’d be spending my time trying to figure out how to introduce as many of the cowardly gunmen to their promised stable of virgin camels in as painful a way as possible. If I needed to reach out and text someone, it would be to a S.W.A.T. sniper with directions to the closest Jihadist’s head along with wind speed and elevation and not to an info babe at CNN or the BBC!
As evidenced in India, fame can be fleeting. If you are going to stick your head out for no other reason than to get noticed, some less than human may just cut it off. If you feel the need to seek fame, make the reason for that fame worthwhile. If you do that, soon those being noticed will have a noticeably better affect on everyone.
S2
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