NFW. She didn't do it.

I got to sleep some nights feeling I've spent all day staring that the two inch square screen of my BlackBerry writing and answering dozens of emails and text messages. I've heard the device can be used as a phone as well but I am not certain I'll get to that functionality before the buttons are unreadable as the lettering has been worn off.

I am getting to the point, especially with the advent of intuitive typing (the completion of words before you actually type them based on a large dictionary stored in the BlackBerry), where I can whip out a fairly coherent message in less time than it takes a Trekkie to get to his seat and start a conversation in Klingon with his fellow geek on opening night of the latest Gene Roddenberry inspired flick. And I am slow compared to most teens, tweens and drug dealers and yesterday I asked a co-worker to schedule a meeting in kilt instead of July because, well, the keystrokes to type both words are the same. I pray he doesn't show in his Tartan colors.

I can't swallow the claim made on a Sacramento TV station's web site of a teen bragging she sent 300,000 text messages in one month. The math just doesn't calculate. There is no possible way this could be done. I am not going to do the cyphering for you there Jethro but, when you actually put pen to paper, you will see the reporter didn't put two and two together to arrive at a hoax. IMHO this girl and her BFFs are ROFLTAO at the dweeb from TV and, since mom is quoted in the story, there was a POS the whole time who is in on it.

More distrubing, the story fails this perfect opportunity to comment on the destructive potential this type of activity has for society. Interpersonal communication, rather than being enhanced by texting is suffering. You can't possibly convey cogent and complex thoughts to another person when your text is limited to 165 (or so, I don't really know the actual number) characters per message. I guess that is why in most real life conversations between teens they don't even say "Oh My God!" they use the letters O M G. For real! I kid you not.

Schools are finding it difficult to curb text messaging during classes. I am wondering if they should. It seems the ability to use an I-PHone is now a pre-requisite for college!

S2

These guys are taking over the world?

It seems Google is everywhere. In fact, nobody "searches" the internet, they Google things! The environmentalist billionaires who run the company have their own corporate jumbo jet tricked out with the latest in high tech toys.

Not content with simply buying carbon offsets (SCAM!)to assuage their globe trotting guilt, the folks over at Google are doing their part to help the Earth by wrangling up 200 goats to trim the lawn at corporate headquarters.

I know this sounds far fetched but it has to be a true story. Just Google it if you don't believe me. Or head over to Google's official blog.

S2

Because you can't eat just one

After a big Paul Prudhomme inspired meal tomorrow night, Mrs. Bald Man and I are starting a 90 day workout and diet regimine coincidentally called Power 90. So tonight and tomorrow the chips and candies will be flying.

Sometimes I feel a bit OCD with food. I get that same way with blogs and internet news sites. I can't stop going from link to link in search of interesting tid bits. That, of course, often makes it difficult to pick a single topic for a nightly blog. I am not creative enough to run from topic to topic with quips and comments on each. Well, a planned divergence of topics that is; I can scatter my thoughts and digress with ease. Tonight has proven particularly difficult as there are a few stories worthy of comment though none are expansive enough for 500-1000 words. That, and Mrs. Bald Man is ready to watch NCIS, our current obsessive practice, on Fancast.com. You might have to follow the links for some of the comments to make sense. Others have no chance of making sense no matter what you do.

The flu formerly known as swine continues to make headlines for reasons even less understandable than the daily analysis of Lindsay Lohan's lesbian love life. A United Airlines flight from Munich to Washington (no mention of DC or state was made in the article) was diverted to Logan International after a female passenger complained of flu-like symptoms. Odds are it was the extra serving of schnitzel she swiped from the Aryan descendant sleeping in the exit row across from her. Claims were made that the crew felt she needed immediate medical attention and they feared the safety of the other 245 passengers on board. Folks, this is not Ebola we are dealing with; it is a flu bug! Please get a grip. Hundreds of schools are being shut down across the country depriving our kids of an education. There were more gang members arrested in a raid in San Diego than have the flu in the entire country of Australia. Perhaps we should shut down places where gang members congregate instead of schools. Oh wait....


Hudson River Emergency Landing

Evidence continues to mount that the Global Warming scare Al Gore is so fond of is nothing but crap. Sure, the chubby former VP with the huge personal carbon footprint carries around a list of 2000 "scientists" who ascribe to this theory. I wonder how many of these guys signed that list.

As the Global Climate change fanatics continue their march toward power through intimidation and shame, I am surprised that I am, for once, on the cutting edge. Mrs. Bald Man and I have killed all our grass, on purpose this year, and are Xeriscaping our front yard. Who'd have thought I would be the first in my neighborhood to remove a sign of moral decadence?

Blake Benson, a 17 year old Denver area high school student, won't be facing charges for the NOBAMA T-shirt incident. It seems Mr. Benson wore the shirt and carried a sign supporting then candidate John McCain at a rally where the now fashionably dressed First Lady Michelle Obama was appearing. In a move that gives lottery ticket buyers across the country hope in beating the odds, the ACLU actually defended the young Republican. What the story doesn't focus on but should is "why the hell was this kid arrested in the first place?" Maybe he had on the wrong shoes.

Finally, in the I got mine category, the First African American First Lady made a bit of a social faux pas when she showed up to speak to the huddled masses at a Washington, DC food bank wearing $540 shoes. The comfy, very high end sneakers seemed a bit out of place on the stage at eye level before the crowd of camera phone carrying poor people. I wonder if Bo the dog will get a chance to chew on those?

Tomorrow is the final binge before the natural purge. See you Monday.

S2